


My Body's Poison

by Shanblue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cancer, Chemotherapy, Divorce, Don't worry, Family Drama, Hair Loss, Hospitals, Leukemia, M/M, Major Illness, Self-Acceptance, Slow Romance, no major deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-10
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 04:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 53,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3516065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanblue/pseuds/Shanblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After experiencing weird symptoms for several days, Hinata Shouyo is taken to the doctor for blood tests to discover something lifechanging. He has cancer. Will the support of Kageyama and his teammates help him push through these tough times?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Body's Poison Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't surmised from the tags and description, this is a cancer fic. If you are easily triggered or cancer is a sensitive topic to you, I don't think this is the right story for you. If you are here for angst and Kagehina fluff, you are in the right place. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's first obvious symptoms appear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: 4/26/15  
> I made some changes to this chapter with spelling, grammar, and wordchoice. Just generally made the chapter better. 
> 
> Also if you're new here, just know the chapters do get longer.

My eyes widen as the ball rushes through my peripherals. Wind whistles past my ears and all my senses are focused on one thing. My muscles tense and I am numb. I faintly taste blood from my gritted teeth in my mouth, but it doesn’t hurt. My eyes shut and my arm reaches out in front of me, grasping at darkness. All my feeling comes back at once and the smack of skin on rubber fills my ears. My eyes open and I peer over the net that blocks me from my opponents. The tall teens look dumbstruck as the ball hits the ground behind him with a thud. The gym is filled with silence except for the quiet tapping the ball makes as it rolls across the wooden floor. The silence is filled, however, by the loud beating of my heart in my ears. My hand tingles and I stare at it with wide eyes. A grin spreads over my face involuntarily.

All at once sounds rushes back in my ears. My teammates cheer and the audience erupts into screaming. For me. I shake my head. For us. I glance at Kageyama and he is looking at me.

“Not bad, dumbass,” he mutters under his breath. I laugh and stretch to wrap my arm around his broad shoulder.

“Thanks to you, of course!” my voice is higher than usual, from the adrenaline and excitement of the match.

I am practically dancing. I pull Kageyama around with me and we walk towards our team members. I laugh when I see Tanaka waving his shirt around, yelling threats to our opponents, but Daichi puts an end to that quickly with a cold glare. Sugawara snickers at the exchange but stops when the glare is directed at him. He smirks, desperately trying to contain his laughing.

“Sorry, sorry!” he waves his hands above his head in submission, before doubling over. Soon our whole team is laughing, even Tsukki, who turns away from the group, pulling Yamaguchi with him. I am too, grasping my stomach and bellowing. None of us know, I’m sure, what is exactly so funny, but we laugh anyway. Perhaps its the giddiness from winning, that never fails to wash through us no matter how many times we win, or maybe just the familiarity of our team’s antics.

“Come on guys, we have to line up” Daichi gasps, struggling to contain himself. We release from our huddle and bow to the other team before we head to the bench to pack our stuff up.

I am talking rapidly with Nishinoya about how the ball went ‘puaa’ and the other team was all ‘guaah’ and he is agreeing with fast nods and leaps, when I am hit with sudden dizziness.

I fall against the wall of the gym as new sweat forms on top of the sweat from the game. The floor seems to spin and I slowly slide to the ground, my aching muscles protesting.

Nishinoya stops in his tracks and stares at me, confused. “Hey, are you okay?” He looks worried, so I nod my head tightly in response, unable to speak. I clutch at my abdomen as it growls and lunch threatens to come up and my bag clatters to the side as I fall to the floor on my stomach. I am shaking and can’t appease the tremors.

Soon the team is surrounding me, looking alarmed. Sugawara pushes a water bottle towards me and I struggle to sit up. I grab for the water with shaking hands and chug from it greedily until it is empty. Soon the dizziness subsides and I am left panting, surrounded by worried friends.

“Sorry guys! I really dizzy there for a second.” I force a laugh, trying to appease my concerned teammates.

I slowly pick myself up, leaning against the wall for support, and although my legs are shaking I am standing steadily again. They are still looking at me doubtfully, but Daichi shoos them away.

He waits till I am breathing normally before speaking, “Are we pushing you too hard?” there is genuine concern in his voice, and guilt floods through me even though I have no idea what happened either.

“I don’t think so, I’m sorry! This is a one time thing. I just have to make sure to drink more water during the breaks next time, that’s all.” I smile genuinely, my guilt alleviating when his expression returns to almost normal.

“Alright, well come get changed and showered with the rest of the team. Let us know if you feel sick again,” he sounds hesitant, but we walk into the locker room together. As I change in the corner, thoughts are racing through my head, but I block them out.

You already told Daichi. This is a one time thing, there is no need to worry... And I successfully push the worry to the back of my mind.

I join Kageyama to race home, but he stares at me and doesn’t run.

“You probably shouldn’t run today...” he mumbles. I am surprised there is no insult with his words but he looks at me with an oddly genuine expression.

“Stupid! It doesn’t matter, I was just a little thirsty! I’m fine now!” I protest, but he refuses to run.

I grumble all the way home, but when he glares at me I shut up. There is an awkward silence the whole walk home, but when we part, I smile and wave.

“I’ll beat you tomorrow!” I yell to him as he walks away.

He whips around with a glare, fast enough to make me stop in my tracks. “Yeah right, dumbass.” he glowers at me, and I laugh as I skip home.

Despite the confusion, today was a good day.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shanbluefanfiction.tumblr.com
> 
> main blog: rolling-thunders.tumblr.com  
> (i changed urls recently)


	2. My Body's Poison Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's life sucks :P

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 4/26/15  
> Fixed bad grammar and word choices.

My family crowds around to hear my epic tale of our game. I describe the pride of my senpais and the joy that had radiated from the team. My mom smiles as she listens to me blabber on, nodding and laughing when I pause.

“I’m so happy that you’re finally able to enjoy volleyball. Middle school must have been tough, having no one to play with.” She is genuinely happy that I am happy, and it makes my chest seize up with gratitude.

“I’m gonna grow up to play volleyball too!” Natsu scratches her chopsticks across her plate, begging for attention.

I laugh at her childishness, and mom scolds her for playing with her chopsticks. After a brief silence, we begin to talk again and the usual ruckus fills the house. I love the how warm and loud the house is. I always know I can fall back onto my family if things go awry.

___

I am squinting at my school notes later that evening when the headache arrives. It starts off weak, but it gets gradually stronger as the night wears on. Soon I have to put away my homework and lay in bed in the dark, covering my ears to block out Natsu’s squeals and shouts. The pain is dull and throbbing and I can’t seem to block it out. Listening to music only aggravates it, but silence gives me nothing to focus on but the ache.

I look at the room with heavy eyes, watching with slight concern as it dips and sways around me. My hand finds its way to my mouth in a flash as nausea pulls at my stomach once again. I need water. That’s what helped me recover earlier, but gravity weighs me down and I can’t seem to pull myself up and out of bed. I feel so weak.

I reluctantly shout to my mother, wincing as the noise grates in my throat and causes a strong throb in my head. Tears sprout in my eyes but I blink them away, ignoring the stinging sensation in my nose I know too well. The shades over my windows let dim lines of light into the room which are currently swaying. My door creaks open, and light from the hallway slowly expands on my floor. The noise aggravates my head further and I pull my blanket over my head as tears leak out of my eyes against my will.

“Honey, are you okay?” My mother’s voice pulls me out of my misery.

“I just have a little headache,” I force out, “Do you think you can bring me some water?” My voice cracks at the end and I wince. I don’t want her to know how much pain I am in; she doesn’t need more to worry about. She has the divorce to worry about.

“Of course, I’ll be right back,” I can hear the worry in her voice and the guilt that I had suppressed at the game earlier comes crashing in. I hate depending on others; I hate making others worry needlessly.

The door shuts with another loud squeak that sends a sharp pain to my head and I hear her footsteps fade away. Smaller knocks patter down the hallway as Natsu runs towards my room. I hear her stop outside my door and pray she doesn’t open it again. The sound is almost unbearable. Soon I hear my mom return. After the squeak of the door, the covers are pulled off of my head and I quickly wipe the tears off my face and squint up at her, the bright light from the hallway burning my eyes. My mom smiles down at me, a glass of water in hand and Natsu is peeking at me from behind mom’s pant leg. I force myself to smile at her and she relaxes.

“Are you okay, Shouyou?” The little girl plays with her fingers, not looking me in the eye.

“Of course I am. I just need to do my homework where it’s brighter, next time!” I give her a big thumbs up and will my smile to widen despite another throb in my head.

“Honey, here’s some Advil.” A line appears between my mother’s brows and my hands clench.

“Thanks.” I am looking at her feet.

Sensing that I want to be alone, she hesitantly places the cup and pills on my nightstand and steps away from me, pulling Natsu along with her. I thank her internally and grab for the cup, almost missing as the world dips and sways in front of me again. Tears well up in my eyes again and I gulp down the water. The swaying subsides within minutes but the pain in my head does not, so I swallow the pill and pull the covers over my head again. It seems to take hours for me to fall asleep but I eventually do, with no dreams to keep me company.

___

I wake up with a dull ache behind my eyes, but it’s nowhere near the severity of last night. Relief washes over me, and I slowly get out of bed, rubbing my bleary eyes. I look in the mirror and sigh. Dark circles marr my unusually pale face. I shake my head, change mechanically and slowly walk towards the kitchen, yawning.

My mother is sitting at the table reading the newspaper as tea boils on the stove.

“Mornin’” I croak. I am always thirsty in the morning, and with the development of my new dizzy spells and headaches I know that I need as much water as I can get. I gulp down two glasses and sit down next to her.

“Good morning, Shouyou. Are you feeling better?” Her eyes are full of care and worry, making my stomach plummet with guilt.

“Of course!”  I grin at her, “With your hospitality I was better in no time!”

“Don’t push yourself too hard, okay? I know that you love volleyball, but you must know your limits.” A weary smile pushes onto her lips and I pout.

“I know, I know. I’m serious, it was from studying. I’m fine!” I slump onto the counter, still pouting. I hear her laugh and I relax.

“What are you going to have for breakfast?”

I look at the cereal boxes on the table and ponder the options in my head, but I slump further on the counter. “I’m fine, I’m not hungry today.” It is the truth. Maybe I drank too much water because my stomach feels full and food does not seem appetizing to me.

“Okay, but pack a granola bar in case you get hungry before lunch time.” She sighs and pushes herself off the table, “I’m going to get Natsu up.”

I nod as she leaves, and I rustle through my backpack, making sure everything is inside. I chuckle when I hear Natsu whining in the other room, before I slump back onto the table, unsure of what to do. I woke up uncharacteristically early today, perhaps from the dull aching in my head. I am usually rushing to get out the door, so today I appreciate the extra time I have to relax. I think back to the game yesterday; how the crowd cheered when I hit the ball, the stinging in my hand and smack it made when it hit the ground. I remember the sincere pride my teammates had for me and a smile pulls at my lips until I’m full out grinning. There we go. Now I’m feeling better. 


	3. My Body's Poison Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata needs a break :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit 4/26/15:  
> Fixed stuff.

2 classes into the school day, I feel my eyes start to droop. I didn’t get enough sleep last night. It’s no surprise since I was up late battling the headache. I shake my head. It is no excuse to fall asleep in class. But soon enough, I find myself with my head on my desk, drooling. Next thing I know the teacher is standing above me shaking me awake.

“Good morning, Hinata,” His patronizing voice brings a blush to my face, partially because the entire class is watching me.

“I’m sorry, sorry,” I my blush deepens as I wipe the drool off of my cheek. I yawn, and I can feel the teacher glare daggers at me, but I refuse to meet his eyes. I almost groan to myself when I feel the faint throbbing of another headache.

But even after the embarrassment, I feel my eyelids begin to droop again as the teacher starts talking about blood types. This has never happened before. I am totally helpless against my drowsiness.

I am thankful to leave the classroom, feeling the teacher’s glare as I quickly exit the room. Only after I am sitting down in the next classroom I realize there is blood trickling down my face. Kids sitting to the left and right of me look as if they are debating telling me, but I notice on my own when my hand travels to my face and my fingers reveal a shiny red liquid. I stand up quickly, startled, and when the teacher sees my face she quickly allows me to leave.

I hear giggling from the students and can swear I hear someone say, “Just like an anime”. From that I blush more, and as I run to bathroom with blood dripping down my face, I bump into something. I peer up to see Kageyama looking at me with an eyebrow raised.

“Sorry!” I nearly shout, pushing past him into the men’s room.

With toilet paper on my nose, head leaning back, I sit on the toilet panting. Today has been completely embarrassing. I have done nothing but make a fool of myself. I am looking forward to volleyball practice to get my mind off of my social dysfunction. I lean back on the seat, my eyelids once again drooping, when I hear the door open and close, jolting me awake.

“Oi, Hinata,” Kageyama’s voice echoes in the tiled room.

“Huh?”

“Are you okay?” He peers at me in the stall curiously, which I am holding propped open with my foot so people don’t think I am taking a massive shit.

“I got a bloody nose in the middle of class, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I grumble.

“No, like your face is REALLY red. Are you okay?” He steps closer and I lean forward again, wincing when my head twinges.

“Yeah, I embarrassed myself twice today, excuse me for my face being red.” My eyes narrow at him. I can’t deal with him giving me a hard time today.

So suddenly I don’t have time to react, he reaches out and grabs my head violently, causing my eyes to tear up from the combination of his hand and the headache.

“Hey!” I yell, flailing my arms at him.

“Hold still! I’m checking... Holy shit, you are burning up!” He wrenches me from my seat by my head and my knees buckle from the unexpected weight.  

“Stop!” I shout, trying to pry his fingers off of me.

He glares at me before slowly letting go. “You need to go to the nurse’s office right now. You have a fever for sure.”

I feel my forehead, curious. “I feel fine to me...”

“You can’t check your own temperature, dumbass! Come on, let me take you... I don’t want to go to Chem anyway.” I glance up at him, surprised to see a blush on his face.

I reluctantly comply, following him as he grabs my wrist and leads me out of the bathroom and through the hall. I stumble behind him, trying to keep my other hand on my nose.

“Slow down, stupid!” I try to shout, but it comes out a whisper. My limbs begin to feel a little bit heavier, each step requiring a bit more effort.

He glances at me, his eyes widening, and he slows his pace, saying nothing. My eyes droop as we walk and soon enough I am sitting in the office chair, waiting for the nurse to come out and check me. Kageyama sits with me, fiddling with his thumbs, seemingly anxious. As each minute passes, my eyelids droop more and more, and soon I am on the verge of sleep.

Heels click down the office tile, and I raise my head sluggishly. A middle aged woman in a white lab coat walks quickly towards me, ushering us into her office.

“I’m going to take your temperature first.” She pulls out the thermometer and I open my mouth, trying not to nod off.

I glance over at Kageyama as she measure my temperature. He is glancing around the room, looking awkward. We make eye contact and he looks at the ground.

“You have a fever of 103 degrees. That’s pretty high. What are your other symptoms?” She sounds a bit worried.

I glance up at her with heavy lids, and wince as my head twinges again from the fluorescent lights. “I’ve had a headache since last night...it was better this morning but it just got a lot worse... I also had a bloody nose, and....” my voice breaks off as the room begins to swirl again. I crouch over, clutching my mouth when I remember this made me nauseous yesterday. However, nausea doesn’t come today. The room dips and sways around me, and I feel liquid drip out of my nose for the second time today.

“You need to sit down,” The doctor seems calm, gently guiding my body to a chair. I stumble into it, and clutch the armrests when I am sitting. Kageyama stares at me, alarmed. He is going to give me hell for this later, I just know it.

My breathing is heavy and labored and I am sweating through my clothes. It seems that everything around me disappears and the doctor’s talking quiets to background noise.

“He was feeling dizzy yesterday after volleyball,” I think I hear Kageyama’s quiet voice.

Seconds or minutes or maybe even hours pass before my breathing has calmed, the room is staying still, and I am sitting up. The doctor escorts me to a bed to lay down in.

“Your mother is coming here to pick you up. She may be a few hours though, since she works pretty far away.” I am aware that Kageyama is holding a tissue to my nose, but I am too exhausted to be embarrassed. I drift in and out of sleep, and I’m only slightly aware when Kageyama leaves to go back to class. I roll over on the paper sheet, struggling to get comfortable. My headache is only getting worse, and after what feels like days a light turns on someone is shaking my shoulder gently.

I raise my head and pry my eyes open to see my mother frowning down at me. The crease between her eyebrows is there again but I’m too out of it to care. She pulls me into an upright position and helps me stand. I notice with a shock that my arms and legs are shaking violently. She seems to notice too because she doesn’t make me stand up right away.

I am given some pills and my mom supports me with her shoulder as we walk across the parking lot towards her car.

“Sorry.” I mumble, my head down.

She doesn’t reply, she just helps me into my seat and buckles me up. I sag onto the door, my cheek pressed against the cool glass. And then I just squeeze my eyes shut and try to pretend that this isn’t happening.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww Hinata baby it's okay


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata slowly adjusts to his new-found weakness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't really introduced myself properly yet, so here:  
> My name is Shannon and I looove Haikyuu and Tokyo Ghoul and Fullmetal Alchemist. It's a serious problem.  
> I hope you have been enjoying this story so far, and just know that the writing improves throughout this story drastically.
> 
> I'll give you the story: one day I was looking through all my old accounts for stuff and I saw my fanfiction account and remembered that in like 6th grade I used to love to write, so I decided to give it a try again. This happened. I'm slowly relearning what I lost so please be patient :)

I am sick in bed with a fever for 2 days, and when I leave for school, I am itching to get back to volleyball.

I was planning to run the whole way to practice, but halfway there I am left gasping for breath. I lay on my back on the side of the road and watch the sun rise, bitter disappointment filling me as I realize at this point Kageyama is probably already there. So much for surprising him... I relax, ignoring the tightening in my throat, and focus on the grass tickling my back. The slight breeze that rustles my hair and brings goosebumps to my skin. The vibrant orange streaks that sweep across the sky in strokes. My breath hitches in my throat and I am overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. My breath floats up visibly, the cool fall air nipping at my body. A shiver runs through me and my eyes wander around me, awed.

When I catch my breath, I reluctantly get up to jog the rest of the way to practice, painfully aware of how much my stamina dropped in just a few days of no playing.

“Welcome back, Hinata!” I hear Tanaka shout from inside. I walk through the door and wave to everyone, a wide grin on my face.

“I’m back!”

I get changed quickly, anxious to play, but when I get on the court, Kageyama seems reluctant to toss to me.

“Shouldn’t you be recovering?” he looks me up and down.

My fists tighten, “Idiot! What do you think I was doing at home for 2 days? I DID recover!” I pout.

He finally agrees after some persuading and I grin as we run through our drills. By the third toss, however, my limbs start to feel heavier, and more effort is expended in every jump. I crouch down, panting, sweat soaking my uniform and look around to see that the rest of the team is barely warmed up. I am so disappointed in myself.

Suga looks at me in concern, “Do you need to sit out for a while to catch your breath?”

I stare at the ground, my cheeks burning, and feel a bead of sweat run down my chin. I watch it fall on the floor, and wipe my face, “Nah, I’m good, thanks though!” I grin at him, “I’m just a bit out of shape from my break I think,” I give him a thumbs up and start running again.

By the time practice finishes, however, it feels like there are bricks strapped on to my limbs and every movement I make takes twice the effort. I feel the dull throbbing behind my eyes but ignore it desperately. I can’t have another headache. I’m supposed to be better. I sit on a bench in the changing room, gasping for breath, and close my eyes. As I walk to the school building with Kageyama, though, I feel the pain in my head intensify and when I get to the classroom I reluctantly take the medicine I had brought to school just in case. Although my fever has gone away, I am still getting constant headaches, and I am so frustrated that my strength isn’t back.

I struggle to stay awake in class all day; my energy seems to have been sapped from me in practice. School is finally over and it’s time for another practice. I hate that I hate it. It makes me so mad that I am thinking things like ‘I wish I could just go home’ and ‘this is so tiring’. I walk slowly to the gym and am soon joined by Nishinoya and Tanaka-senpai, who greet me energetically. I try to wake myself back up, pasting a smile on my face and running the rest of the way with them, chattering nonsense.

“We are going to have a practice match in 3 weeks with a school in Tokyo, so keep that in mind when you are practicing!” Daichi announces to the team when they are all inside.

We’re going to pick up the pace of our exercises, and I am not sure if I am ready for it. My limbs still feel heavy from the this morning, and my headache is never completely hidden by the medicine. I spread on a smile anyway, running to the changing room to get ready. I slip my shirt off and realize I left my bag in the gym. I run out to go get it and Suga pulls me aside before I can return to the changing room.

Suga stares at my bare upper body, and I look down self-consciously. It is pale, and I am not particularly muscular. “Hey, are you eating right?” I raise an eyebrow at his question.

“Yeah... I think so? I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but I still eat...” my voice trails off, questioning his curiosity.

His eyebrows tighten, “do you know how much you usually weigh?”

“Around 115 pounds...”

Without a word, he pulls me to the weight room and pushes me onto a scale.

“Hey! Why this all the sudden?!” I stumble onto the scale, but look down curiously at the numbers.

The numbers settle at 99 pounds and I gasp.

“You are eating right?” he reiterates, raising his eyebrows, “You are skin and bones. If what you’re telling me is right, you have lost 15 pounds on a regular diet. That is not normal.”

I nod, “As I said, I haven’t been that hungry lately, but I still eat most meals...” I realize why he is worried now. I heard about the effects of unneeded weight loss in health class. I am smart enough to know what is healthy and what isn’t.

“I realize you were sick for a couple days, but this is really strange,” he takes a deep breath and forces a smile, “I recommend you tell a parent about this...”

I nod and we walk out of the weight room. I quickly change into my uniform, self conscious now about my weight, and join the rest of my team in the gym.

Once again I am panting within minutes. I can see Suga’s worried expression out of the corner of my eye and grit my teeth. I can’t keep acting this weak. _You’re causing your friends needless worry._ I shake my head and try to push the thought away, forcing myself to continue to play even when my arms and legs are shaking from exertion. I call for another toss from Kageyama, to which he reluctantly complies.

And then I go down

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh cliffhanger.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata takes a visit to the doctor to find out what is causing his constant discomfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Finally the plot is moving. Sorry, I know the intro was really long but we're here at last, hopefully it was worth the wait!?

The thing that led to me realizing I wasn’t normal happened in a split second.

The sweat was falling at a quick pace, I was panting faster than usual, and I could hear my erratic heartbeat. Something in me knew I pushing myself over the line. But something in me didn’t want to know.

I called for the ball, despite the haziness in my vision; despite the strange echo in my ears.

And when I bent my knees to jump, that haziness, that echo intensified so fast that I fell to the ground.

And here I lay. My mother has been called to come pick me up from school again, and I feel tears threatening to spill. Guilt crushes my chest. Why must I bring HER into everything? Why didn’t I stop?

I feel a cold towel pressed to my forehead and sigh as it soothes my headache. My breathing is still heavy, and I can hear balls smack against wood. Daichi had ordered everyone to continue playing, but they are all shooting nervous glances over at me, none really focusing on playing. I can feel a burn in my cheeks but I can’t find the strength to push myself off the floor. I just lie down with my eyes closed, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth as Coach Ukai has instructed. Kageyama walks over to me and places my bag next to me, looking unsure of what to say. I don’t help him.

15 minutes later my mom arrives, rushing into the room and almost running over to where I lay. She once again helps me up and escorts me across the parking lot to her car, and I can feel curious and worried glances raking over me as we walk across campus.

An all too familiar drowsiness is beginning to slip over me, and I feel that if I talk now I will cry. Why can’t I just play volleyball? I glance over at my mom and my stomach plummets when I see her pursing her lips.

“Where are we going?” I mumble. From what I can see this is not the route home.

“Doctor,” her voice is clipped and I wince.

I force my eyes away from her and begin looking out the window. Soon, however, I am taken by dizziness so I close my eyes and breathe slow, refusing to make another scene.

“Shouldn’t I take a shower first?” I attempt conversation, begging for the tense silence to stop.

I see her shoulders relax slightly, but she simply shakes her head. I close my eyes again, and feel myself drifting off.

I am woken by the slam of a door, and my eyes widen as I watch my mother leave the car without me. I fumble with my seatbelt but my fingers are still tired and I give up on trying. A few minutes later she is walking back to the car with a clipboard, peering through the window at me. She tries to smile when she sees I am awake, but I can tell it’s not natural.

I roll down the window so she can talk to me, “Do you want to come in? It’s warmer,” I nod and finally muster the strength to unbuckle my seatbelt and open the door. When I step to the ground, everything sways for a few seconds but then it subsides. I close the door and my mom walks me to the small clinic.

When inside, I sit down heavily on one of the cushioned chairs, sighing as the warm air hits me. My mom chuckles and sits down next to me, filling out the medical form attached to the clipboard. Minutes later, a young man leads me to a check up room.

“We know you have been sick on and off for the past week. I’m going to check your temperature again.” he pulls out a thermometer and I open up my mouth, tiring already of doctors. “You have a low fever. This could be just a normal infection, but we heard you have been having other symptoms.”

I nod at him, but stay silent.

“He has had a fever the last couple days but he was finally good enough to go to school today. He collapsed during his sports practice,” my mom explains.

He nods and we continue to discuss my symptoms with him. When there is a hault in the discussion, he brings me out to the scale and my stomach drops. I reluctantly step up and his eyes widen at the number, but he says nothing as he records it.

“Have you been eating regularly?” he asks me.

I nod, and with some hesitation I finally speak, “I haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but I have still eaten most meals.”

He records this and seems to be contemplating something on his computer screen.

“We are going to take a few blood tests. You could have low iron, which is very common in teens. You can supplement iron with a simple pill, or in some cases, with just a vitamin.”

I gulp. Needles are not my thing. But my mom visibly relaxes at his words and she finally lets out a genuine smile, and I can feel the heaviness in my chest alleviate a bit.

“That is not to say more serious conditions aren’t out of the question. To be completely honest with you guys, these symptoms, although common, could be hints at very serious things.”

I almost shake my head. That’s not me. I just have low iron. Of course that’s not me. My mom doesn’t seem to worried either, but she nods to the doctor anyway.

The doctor takes my blood, not without some screaming and flailing on my part, and we are sent home. Results are supposed to come in within a week, and until then I shouldn’t push my body too hard, I should rest when I need to, and I should eat 3 meals a day. My mom informs my teachers of my current predicament so that they don’t give me a hard time if I fall asleep, which is often, and I watch my teammates play volleyball longingly during practice, itching to feel the ball in my hands and to hear it slam into the ground by my own means.

It is on Thursday, the week after I had gone to the doctor’s, that I am called to the office in the middle of class. I am confused, but I walk there slowly trying to remember anything I may have done wrong enough for me to be in trouble with the school.

I am stopped in my tracks when I see my mother sititng in the office, her face white and her hands shaking. She turns around and stiffens when she sees me standing there.

“We got the blood test results back,” she chokes.

Dread begins to creep into my veins at the panic in her voice.

“You have cancer.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everybody who leaves feedback! :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata found out he has cancer. Wait. What?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, please enjoy?

Hundreds of thoughts rush through my head at once, before I come to the obvious conclusion.  _She's joking._

I start to laugh, hesitantly at first, and then a bit louder. My chest tightens when I realize she isn't laughing along. I look around the room to see the office secretary staring at us, alarmed. When she sees me looking she snaps her gaze down to her computer, looking embarrassed.

"Mom..." I struggle contain my giggles, even though I don't think it's funny anymore.

Her face is pale and her hands are shaking slightly.

"...No way," my voice trembles. The laughing stops, and suddenly I can't hear anything but the beating of my heart. I can hear blood rushing past my ears fast. And once again, the room sways and dips around me, causing me to sink to the ground, squeezing my eyes shut. My mom grasps onto my shoulder with a cold hand, steadying me as I gasp in and out.

"I want to take you to the doctor right now, if that's okay with you... I need answers," my mom's voice is stronger now, comforting.

"I... yeah... that's okay with me," I long to paste on a smile and tell her everything's okay, but I can't. Everything isn't okay.

"Do you want me come with you to collect your stuff?" she seems worried.

I smile and shake my head, brushing away her hand, "I'm okay, mom. I'll be back here in a few minutes."

My breathing is labored as I walk quickly through the hallway, and my heart keeps speeding up as my mind races with questions and fears. When I reach my classroom I wobble slightly and take a deep breath before entering. I push open the door and the class turns to look at me. I smile and wave, but can't speak. I walk quickly to my desk, swinging my backpack over my shoulder, and before I can shut the door the teacher blocks me in my path.

"Do you have permission to leave? You need a pass," I sigh, my eyes shutting with impatience as I feel another wave of dizziness wash over me. I wobble in place and grab on to the wall for balance.

"I have to go to the doctor with my mother. She is waiting for me in the office." my voice is weak. I assume that he is still holding a grudge on me for falling asleep in class the first time, despite my mother informing all my teachers of my predicament.

He seems reluctant, but he clenches his jaw and shuts the door in front of me. I stick my tongue out at the door and walk quickly back towards the office. I force myself to shut cancer out of my mind.  _I don't know the details yet. It could be a misunderstanding._  I take another deep breath, forcing my tight muscles to relax. I am itching to play volleyball and yet my body doesn't want to play. I feel miserable every time I exercise. And it kills me a little inside. If only I never got sick, and I could go on with my life without knowing I had cancer. I shake my head and push the thoughts away, focusing on breathing slowly and excitement for the practice match that is quickly approaching.  _I'll be better by then._

My mom meets me outside the office with a shaky smile and we power walk to the car. When she notices my labored breathing, I see her slow down her pace and my chest squeezes a little.

She drives slowly, her hands clenching on the wheel so tight her knuckles are white. I too am grasping on to the edge of my uniform with sweaty palms. I feel my hair damp with sweat despite the fact that I haven't exercised today which makes me clench my jaw in frustration. Soon enough I find myself sniffing back liquid in my nose, and I touch my hand up to my face to once again pull away with blood on my fingers. I sigh and tell my mom, who shuffles around her purse for a tissue. I press the tissue to nose methodically, upset at how used to this I am becoming.

"Did the doctor tell you anything else?" I ask, my voice nasal from my plugged nose.

She shakes her head, her jaw clenching, "He told me it would be better to come in and see him in person so there were no misunderstandings."

I feel my breathing finally begin to slow and lean against the window, my cheek bumping against the glass with every crack in the road. My breath fogs the glass and I stare out the window at the small houses hidden by the film on the pane.

"Oh! Did you tell anyone that I won't be showing up for volleyball?" I sit up suddenly.

My mom sighs, "No, Shouyou. That isn't a priority right now." I slump back down against the window, pouting.

We pull into the parking lot and this time I enter the building with my mom, standing awkwardly next to her as she signs me in. After 10 long minutes, a doctor calls my name and I stand up quickly, causing me to stumble with dizziness again. I can practically hear my mom sigh and she grab my shoulder for support. My throat constricts.  _I am such a burden._

We are led into another small examination room where the doctor from last time greets us with a tight smile.

"Hello. I'll get straight to the point. As you know, the results we got back were not... desirable. It wasn't what I was expecting at all, and this is obviously going to call for more drastic measure than a pill." The doctor sighs as he looks me up and down. After we don't reply, he continues, "We are almost positive that you have a type of leukemia that is common in adolescents. It's called Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, or A.L.L. for short."

My shoulders draw up. It feels a little more real now with the doctor in the room confirming my fears. I can feel my mom tense up too.

"Am-," my voice catches, "am I going to die?" I try to keep my voice steady with moderate success.

The doctor looks at me sympathetically, "That depends on how far along you are in your sickness. It sounds odd, but you are lucky. A.L.L. is the most treatable type of leukemia you can get. We're going to have to do more blood tests to know your chances, but you're an active, healthy kid, and if you have the courage you can fight through this." He pulls out some papers, "Here are some descriptors of A.L.L. in case there is any confusion after today."

I grab one of the pamphlets out of his hands with shaky pale ones, and my mom takes the other.

My eyes scan over it but I can't process the information.  _White blood cells...bone marrow..._  I shake my head in confusion, and I glance over to see my mom squinting at the papers too.

"Don't worry, I will explain it too. What we think that Hinata has is a cancer that starts in the white blood cells in bone marrow and quickly spreads through your blood. These cancerous cells can invade the rest of your body very quickly. It can travel to your lymph nodes, liver, spleen, your brain and spinal cord, and testicles. At the moment we don't know 100% that you have it, we know 99%. I know that it's important to have hope, but I don't want you to get your hopes up. Chances are you have cancer, and although it may take a while to sink in you must accept it. If you have anything you want to hope for, it's that we caught it early enough to nip the cancer in the bud. Once we get another set of blood results back, we will need to start treatment right away regardless of how far along you are, as this type of cancer, although curable, can be deadly if left untreated for too long."

I am staring at him with wide eyes as I process the information.

The doctor clears his throat, "Along with the blood test, I am going to do another physical examination. When you came in last week, you showed some symptoms of leukemia, but I need to see if they got worse."

I nod and after a few brief seconds of silence my mother nods and walks out of the room. After I pull off my clothes the doctor assesses my skin and nods. "You play a sport, right? Even so, you have an abnormal amount of bruising which is a telltale sign of leukemia." I gulp. Despite what the doctor had said, I am still trying holding a little bit of hope.

There are so many things I want to ask him, but my voice doesn't seem to be working.

"I assume that you want to know as soon as possible, and get treated as soon as possible." I nod in response and he continues, "We can do a number of tests today if your mother agrees. Let me call her back in."

I quickly pull my shirt back on and my mother walks in slowly, her eyes spaced out, seemingly processing something in her head.

"We can go forth with another blood test, of course, and we can do several other tests at the moment. Would you give permission for us to go forward with them?" his voice is soft and understanding. It only makes my throat tighten more. My mother nods, her eyes glassy.

" What tests are you going to do?" she sounds like she's about to cry, which is exactly how I feel.

"We are going to do a lymph node biopsy, a lumbar puncture to determine the extent of the disease, and an X-ray. With these tests we can most likely determine how urgent treatment is and how much longer Hinata has if we didn't catch it in time."

My eyes widen.  _I could die. I could really die._

I wince when the needle pricks my skin, but I don't shout like last time. I am too desperate to learn my fate. I know the gravity of the situation. Several more needles prick my skin, and I have to keep myself from fainting at the sight of a long, threatening needle that is supposed to go in my neck. I have to shut my eyes for that one. I breathe a sigh of relief when they tell me they are moving on to the last test: the X-ray. I lay perfectly still, which comes easy with how drowsy I am and before I know it I am heading out the door with a body full of bandaids and a stinging sensation.

The drive home is a quiet one. My mom stares at the road ahead, never looking at me, and I am trying my best to hold back tears. She seems to have changed from when she picked me up from school this afternoon. She seems more withdrawn.

When I went in for the blood test last week, I was expecting to be told I had a minor iron deficiency and that I would have to take a pill every morning. That everything was going to be okay. My eyes stare at the dark road in front of me, the lines blurring as we quickly gain speed. The moon is out and there are almost no cars on the road. My eyes slowly slide shut and I can feel the lump in my throat grow. I want my mom to say something, anything, to ease this ache. I need to talk to someone. I need to tell someone. I want to know if I'm going to be okay. I bite my lower lip hard, almost as if to confirm this is real, and recoil when I taste blood. I pull down the car mirror and I pale when I see the small cut that my teeth made on my lip is oozing blood. My mom glances out of the corner of her eye at me and I hear a sharp intake of breath but she says nothing, so I shuffle through her purse for the tissues and press them against my lip. Maybe this is a dream. I'm going to wake up and my mom's going to smile as I eat cereal, Natsu complaining about how early it is, and we'll all laugh together when she falls asleep into her oatmeal. And my mom will look at me again. And she'll smile like she used to. And we won't have a care in the world.

If only I could go back in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, Hinata you can make it through!!  
> 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata struggles to come to terms with his new realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there! I'm back with another chapter, I wasn't planning on posting this tonight but I am procrastinating on homework so I decided to go ahead with it. Here you guys go, enjoy :)

I can't sleep tonight. Too many thoughts are whirring around in my head, so fast I can't even process them. Among emotions coursing through my body, though, the strongest is the desire to vent. I need to tell someone. And I won't be able to sleep until I do. And so I don't sleep. My eyes stay open all night, staring at nothing. I vaguely notice the time passing by, but it doesn't bother me too much. I am curled in a ball, rocking back and forth as anxiety runs through me. And I can't escape. My room is filled with silence and my head is filled with chaos, begging to be listened to. My hands travel up to my head and grip my hair, almost as if I'm trying to pull it out. I gasp at the pain but I don't stop. I want out of this body.  **I want out.**  When my cheek hits a wet spot on my pillow I am surprised to find out that I am sobbing. It is a quiet type of sobbing. The screams edge at my throat and stop in front of my mouth. They are dry croaks and groans and water runs down my face and my shoulders shake and I want out. I want out I want out I want out.

After what feels like hours the sobs die down and I push myself up out of bed quietly. I glance at my clock; it's 4:15. Trying to not wake up my family, I tip toe across my bedroom to a mirror and I cringe at my reflection. My eyes are puffy and bloodshot and my face is wet with tears. I am extremely pale, even paler than usual, and nearly black circles carve hollows into my face. I rip my gaze away, wiping my face and creep through the hall into the bathroom.

Halfway through the bathroom door I freeze in my tracks when I hear a quiet whimper. I listen intently and realize with dismay the sound is coming from my mom's room. Another sob seeps through the door, and another and before I have time to feel guilt, I step into the bathroom and close the door. I quietly blow my stuffy nose into a tissue and sit on the closed toilet with my knees pulled to my chest.

The thought hits me again as I sit there.  _I have cancer._  I grit my teeth and pull myself to my feet, gripping the sink as a wave of dizziness passes through me. When the world has stilled, I turn the sink on to a low level and splash my face with lukewarm water to draw attention away from the paleness. It is only partially successful, but I don't care. I don't look as much of a mess as I did earlier, and that's good enough for me.

I creep back through the hallways and nearly bump into my mom, who is walking with her head down towards the kitchen. She gasps when she sees me up so early and I give her a weak smile, but she averts my gaze and continues walking. I begin to bite my lip but stop when I remember the outcome of lip chewing yesterday. I reluctantly climb back into bed, noting that the time is 5:33. I don't sleep.

When my alarm rings I push myself out of bed, already feeling the fatigue set in, perhaps more intense from my lack of sleep. I set myself down at the counter and stare at the cereal, but once again I have no appetite. I don't eat.

Instead, I decide to take a shower, my mouth open as water cascades down my back. I open my eyes to see several bandaids at the bottom of the shower and I cringe, quickly throwing them into the trash and peeling off the remaining ones before stepping back into the warm water. The tension in my muscles slowly relaxes and I can feel new energy slowly seeping back in to me. If I could stay here forever I would. But I have school, and the very thought cheers me up and fills me anxiety at the same time.

I leave the house happily, flashing Natsu and mom a genuine smile before jogging, slower than usual, but jogging nonetheless, to my and Kageyama's meeting place. I see him leaned up against a fence and curse under my breath. I thought I was early today.

Usually, at the sight of me, Kageyama would start sprinting towards the school, but instead he power-walks towards me, glaring.

"Why weren't you at practice yesterday," he growls.

I stare at the ground, mad that I didn't think of an excuse in the entire night that I lay awake, "Umm, it was kind of pointless, since I couldn't play anyway," I fiddle with my sleeve uneasily.

"Dumbass! You should be watching for new techniques even if you can't play! What could you possibly have been doing, anyway?" he hoists me up by my collar and his eyes widen when he sees my face, "You look terrible..." he thrusts me away and I stumble to regain my balance at a sudden poorly timed bout of dizziness.

"Thanks a lot." I pull ahead of him, avoiding his questioning gaze. I brighten at a sudden thought, quickly turning around to an annoyed Kageyama, "Oh yeah! I can play volleyball today!" I jump in the air in excitement.

He squints at me doubtfully, silent for a second, "Who said that?"

"It's fine! I'm fine now! I look bad because I was just up late studying, that's all!" I avoid his eyes. I never got permission from my doctor, but I don't care. I NEED to play. If I don't play I won't be able to stay sane. All my thoughts are squirming around like worms in my head and I need a distraction. Plus at the thought that I might die, I am not wasting another day sitting around watching others have fun without me. My jaw tightens and shake my head.  _I'm not going to die._

"If you faint again I'll punch you," he mutters, and I don't reply.

We arrive at the gym to see that most of the team is already there. They swarm me at once.

"Hinata! Where were you yesterday?!" Tanaka and Nishinoya crowd into my face and I laugh, rubbing the back of my head.

"I was just a bit busy! Sorry about that! But I'm back and ready to play!" I grin and their faces brighten, slapping me hard in the back simultaneously. I cough and stumble forward but my smile only widens.

I get changed quickly and soon I am hitting balls over the net like I was never sick. I still pant heavier than normal, and my arms feel heavier than they used to, but the team seems to be convinced that I am recovered apart from Kageyama and Suga who are sending me skeptical glances every few minutes. I ignore them, and when I can't lift my arms anymore, I play it off with a grin.

"Man, I'm out of shape already! I need to catch my breath!" Daichi nods at me and continues his drill.

I collapse on to the bench, breathing heavily, and I feel anger bubble up in my chest. My eyes are stinging but I refuse to acknowledge the tears welling in my eyes.  _Why am I so weak?_ I am trying so hard and it's futile. No matter how much mental strength I muster up, it can't make up for my lack of physical strength.

My sickness might take the normal out of my life, but it can't take volleyball from me too.  _It can't._

And with that thought I struggle to push myself off the bench, joining the team again despite the burning in my lungs. By the end of practice I can barely lift up my legs to walk to the changing room, but I don't care. Despite the pain my body is feeling, I am happier than I have been since I found out.

Volleyball can keep me sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.  
> I apologize for the short chapters, I will try to lengthen them. Thank you so much for your comments, they make my day.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata needs to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, here's Wednesday's update. I have been busy with school or I would have put it up earlier. Enjoy! :)

By the time afternoon practice rolls around, my shoulders are sagging and my feet drag on the ground. My eyes are unfocused as I ponder new volleyball strategies, and I am so zoned out that it takes me a few seconds to register that I ran into Kageyama. Again. I feel his cold hands clamp around my shoulders, hard enough for me to yelp out in pain.

“Watch where you’re walking. Dumbass,” His eyes are cold.

Despite his harsh words I find my tired body leaning into his touch, and when he lets go I stumble into his chest. It is surprisingly warm, and I can feel my eyes drifting shut. When hands clamp around my shoulders again they shoot open and I keep myself from gasping out of pain and surprise. Embarrassed, I shove away from him.  I can feel the tips of my ears burning as I walk quickly over to the gym. I almost fell asleep in Kageyama’s arms. He must think I’m a total freak now...

I feel an arm wrap around my shoulder and flinch, peering up to see Tanaka slung over me.

“What’s got you all flustered?” His teasing tone only makes me turn redder, and I wipe a new layer of sweat off my brow. There is something wrong with me today.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Kageyama walking to the locker room glaring at me, and I can’t hold back the gasp when I see that he is faintly blushing too. I snicker into my hand, unable to stop even when his icy glare shoots daggers at me.

Less than 5 minutes into practice I reluctantly ask to sit out, tears in my eyes. My throat is tight and all I can feel is anger. Why me? All I want is to play volleyball, and I can’t even do that. I grit my teeth and glare at the team as they jog laps around the court, unaware of just how lucky they are.

I see Suga running next to Kageyama, and they seem to be discussing something. A moment later, Kageyama breaks away from the group and runs towards me. I flinch, remembering our exchange before practice but relax when I see his eyes are bored.

“Oi, Hinata. Is there something wrong?” his questioning gaze sweeps over my pale, sickly face, my unhealthily thin body covered in bruises and it tightens a bit before returning to my face.

My shoulders draw up at the question and a lump forms in my throat, barring me from speaking even if I wished too.

“You can always talk to me, you know...” he shifts uncomfortably, looking awkward. I’m sure Suga put him up to this.

And suddenly, despite my longing for this to be a dream, and despite the chances it was a fluke with the blood test, I feel the rhapsodical need to tell someone. I need to talk to someone about. Between my mom’s avoidance and my own shock, I need someone to sit down with me and tell me it’s going to be okay. I stop myself when I remember that we are in the gym, with plenty of blabber mouths to spread the information around if they overhear. I glance up at Kageyama, and I see awkward sincerity in his eyes that makes my chest seize up.

“I- I want to tell you...” I feel my face turning crimson again and stare into my lap, “...just not here. I’ll tell you after practice...”

I don’t know why I want to tell him. I shouldn’t tell him; he may never pass to me again and he’ll have another reason to look down on me... But I do, and the urge is growing stronger and stronger by the moment.

He nods down at me, looking concerned, before he reluctantly rejoins the group jogging. I see Sugawara give him a quizzical look but he keeps his gaze trained ahead, and I thank him internally for keeping it private.

I watch the team run through their drills and the hour practice seems to drag on for days. The pit of anxiety in my stomach is growing deeper and deeper as it get closer to the end. Closer to telling him. And I start to question if I should just keep my mouth shut. I see him walking up to me, already changed and looking expectant and I gasp. I had been so tuned out I hadn’t even noticed them stop playing. Any feelings of tiredness are gone, replaced by a knot of nerves in my stomach.

Seeming to sense my uneasiness, he grabs my sleeve and drags me out of the gym before I can change my mind. Soon I break free and fall in pace with him, struggling to keep up as shallow breaths puff in my chest. He seems to ignore my toiling and keeps up a quick pace, and part of me thanks him for not pitying me but the other part, the tired part, is begging him to slow down and make it easier.

He finally slows down as we approach a riverbank with a beautiful view of the skyline and I eagerly plop down, resting my head into my lap to catch my breath. He sits down beside me and stares out, silent.

After several minutes of silence, I look up to find him looking down at me. I clear my throat and play with my fingers, unsure how to begin.

“Um... so... should I just come out and say it?” I squirm where I sit, feeling his gaze raking over me. He says nothing, so I continue, “Well...” I stop. What if he tells someone? “You have to promise not to tell anyone at school. Or your parents,” my voice is stronger now, desperate.

“I can’t promise you anything...” he swallows.

My fists clench, “Please, just let me get this out! My family already knows, telling people at school isn’t going to change anything!”

He remains silent but despite my insecurities, I begin. I need to talk to someone. If I don’t get out this information that is churning around in my head, digging cracks in my skull, then I just know it will break my head right open.

“So, you know what’s been happening. I get tired too quickly, I get dizzy, I get fevers, and none of it adds up...” he nods at me, looking apprehensive, “Well, after I collapsed in practice, my mom finally took me to the doctor...” the lump in my throat is back again, “just to figure out what the heck is wrong with me. They told me that I probably just had low iron and would have to take some supplements, so they took a blood test... and yesterday in the middle of class I had to go to the doctor again, because the results...” I take a deep breath and try to ignore the fact that my voice is shaking, “...the results were... different than any of us expected...”

He is staring at me intently now, and I look up at him, feeling smaller than usual.

“I... have cancer.”

His jaw drops.

“You’re joking, right? Please tell me that was a joke- a horrible attempt at one at that.” he is glaring at me, as if begging for me to laugh and tell him it IS a joke. But I only look him in the eye, unwavering despite the shaking of my hands and slight dizziness.

For minutes he stays silent, staring at me with all his might. As if I might disappear any second. But then he speaks, “Are you going to die?”

His word are harsh but I know it’s a valid question. My clenched hands relax a bit as I fall back against the grass, gazing at the sky.

“I don’t know.”

At this he bites his lip and turns away from me, and I see his shoulders shake.

“You- you can’t die. Who will I have to spike my fast tosses?” his voice sounds desperate, but I remain relaxed. It seems as if just telling him took a load off my shoulders.

Kageyama, on the other hands, looks weighed down. I sigh. I prop myself up and smile at him.

With a grin, I reply, “Trust me, I don’t plan on dying any time soon!” I jump up and shove my thumbs into his face. He pushes them away with a grumble before slowly pushing himself up and dusting off his backside.

I notice as we walk back he slows down to accommodate my pace, and I almost laugh. Who would have thought that Kageyama could ever be so thoughtful, especially towards me? But I am thankful for his reaction. Unlike my mom, he didn’t refuse to look at me when he found out. He seemed to be a bit more cautious, no longer grabbing my head and shaking, but he still treated me in the same manner, telling me to shut up and calling me a dumbass as I described to him my predicted outcome of our upcoming match with shouts and sound effects. As I prance alongside him, I feel that I can forget the worries, even if for just a few minutes.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's finally some traces of Kagehina appearing, woohoo. Feel free to leave any critique or questions, and since I don't have much to say today, thanks for reading! :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'll just leave this here.

I sleep soundly that night, dreaming of cheers and smiles after winning the Olympics with my team by my side. I open my eyes with a grin on my face and I see that not only did I sleep to my alarm, but I slept past it. It is something very stupid to be happy about, but I am nevertheless. I have gotten so little sleep recently that I can’t not celebrate it internally. I change quickly and prance to the kitchen. I turn the corner to see my mom with a phone pressed to her ear, looking as pale as she always does these days and with an apprehensive expression.  
I stay silent, listening to her nods and mhms as I pull out some cereal and scour the fridge for good food. She is still on the phone when I am finished eating and putting away my dishes, and I shoot her a questioning look. She holds her pointer finger up at me and I nod. I gather all of my school supplies and wake Natsu up at my mom’s silent request, stifling a giggle at the sight of drool running down her face. She wails when I strip her covers off of her, and I grin deviously at her. I flip her light on and she groans again, but I leave the room knowing she won’t be asleep for long.  
When I return to the kitchen my mom is off of her call and shuffling through some papers. I glance over her shoulder and recoil quickly when I realize they are divorce files. She quickly flips the papers over when she sees me and turns around quickly.  
“Hey.. mom... you know you don’t have to hide that stuff from me, right?” my voice is tentative, unsure if she is going to continue acting cold.  
Her shoulders relax at her words and a sad smile flits across her face.  
“I know... I’m sorry... for a lot of things. I’m going to try to be better-” she stiffens as I wrap her in a hug but she slowly relaxes and wraps her arms around me. I lean into her warm touch and hug back tighter, feeling myself unravel. She clutches her thin fingers into the back of my shirt and I can feel her shoulders shaking. Mine are too. We cry together, gasping and sniffing and hiccuping. We are a mess.  
I pull back and wipe my wet face on my hand. Her face is red and blotchy and wet with tears too, but she is smiling weakly at me, her lip quivering.  
“Mom, I just need you to be here for me. And I will always be here for you too.” my voice is soft and scratchy.  
“I know. I was lost for a second. I thought I was losing your father AND you. I wasn’t thinking. But I’m back now.” we hug again, briefer this time, and Natsu walks into the room while we wipe away snot and tears.  
“What’s going on?” her voice is heavy and she looks at us through lidded eyes.  
“Nothing, honey. We just got a bit emotional this early in the morning.” she smiles a genuine smile and any stress that I still had over her vanishes.  
I almost start crying again. I never knew I could appreciate someone’s caring so much.  
“I was just on the phone with your doctor, Shouyou. He got the results back pretty quickly this time. It’s confirmed. You are starting treatment as soon as we can get you up to the hospital.” my jaw drops. It wasn’t a fluke.  
“M-mom... I...” she ruffles my hair before I can finish and shoves me towards the hallway.  
“We don’t need Natsu hearing this. The doctor said you are in the high risk group, whatever that means, so treatment needs to be treated as soon as possible. You understand what this means, right? I’ve heard that cancer treatment is... bad.” she bites her lip.  
“Mom...”  
She shakes her head, her face brightening, “We caught it pretty early. I’ll be there for you. And I’m sure your friends will too. We can get through this.” her hand grabs mine and I almost pull back from her tight grip. She seems to be trying to convince herself too.  
“How do they treat leukemia?” I ask her, fear returning.  
“I don’t know much, but the doctor said it is in three phases.. I don’t get it too much, but what I do know is you’ll be undergoing chemotherapy, and because you’re in a high risk group, you’re going to be taking a lot of drugs. And maybe radiation.”  
I feel a lump in my throat and pull my hand away from hers before she can feel it shake. I wipe them against my pants and beam up at her.  
“It’s going to be fine, just like you said!” I check my watch and gasp, “Crap! I’m going to be late!” I say a quick goodbye and walk quickly out the door, bitter that I can’t run.  
When I meet Kageyama I smile up at him. But at hearing my mothers new, I feel cold panic, unlike anything I felt thus far.  
“How are you feeling?” Kageyama seems to be attempting to smile at me, playing with the strap of his backpack.  
I hesitate to tell him, but I figure since he already knows this much it doesn’t matter how much else I spill, “I- I’m scared...” I stare at the ground as we walk, “We found out this morning that I have cancer for sure, and I have to start treatment right away... It’s going to suck.”  
His fists tighten at his sides, and he begins to speak but stops several times, seemingly unsure about what to say. Finally he rests his hand on my crazy hair, pushing down a little, “Hey, I’ll be here, so you don’t have to worry about anything...”  
I stick my tongue out at him and brush his hand away, “You don’t have to tell me, stupid!” I can feel the knot in my stomach loosen a bit at his presence..  
The moment I arrive at the gym I see Coach Ukai storming over to me with Takeda-sensei at his side, and I shoot an accusing glance to Kageyama. He only shrugs, looking a little confused.  
“Can we talk to you, Hinata?” I don’t get a chance to reply as they pull me around to the side of the building.  
“We got a call from your mother...” Takeda looks uncharacteristically stern, his hands on his hips.  
I bite my lip, looking at him sheepishly. I force a laugh, heat running up my neck to my face.  
“This isn’t funny. Why were you playing yesterday?! You need to value your health more, Hinata. To think of what could have happened during practice if you had kept pushing yourself horrifies me!” Ukai is nearly shouting and I shrink back, wishing I had Tanaka to hide behind.  
I put my head down, “I’m sorry...”  
“It’s okay, we just care a lot about you and we don’t want you to hurt yourself. We are yelling at you because we worry about you,” Takeda smiles gently at me, and I feel like crying.  
I didn’t know that I could feel so guilty about playing volleyball.  
“We will let you to play to the extent that your doctor allows, okay? We’re not taking away volleyball forever,” Takeda consoles me.  
Coach Ukai cuts in, “Unless your doctor says so.”  
Takeda glares at Ukai before patting my shoulder and steering me back to the gym. I follow Ukai inside morosely. Before they walk back something strikes me.  
“How much DID my doctor say I can play?” my eyebrows are raised, and I can feel myself getting nervous.  
Takeda smiles, “You can play until you start to get tired. The doctor said that exercise can help bring your strength up, especially during treatment.”  
I throw my fist into the air, jumping. Quickly I run to the changing room where the rest of the team is finishing getting changed and I rip my clothes off and throw on my outfit the fastest I have in my entire life. I don’t want to miss out on a single second.  
I lag behind the team while we run laps, determined to play for as long as physically possible even if it means taking it slow. I see some of them glancing behind at me with raised eyebrows, as I am usually racing Kageyama at the front of the pack, but nobody says anything to my relief. It is a struggle to give it my all while preventing myself from getting out of breath but I manage to last almost half of practice before Coach Ukai calls me back in to sit on the bench. I am bitter when I have to stop playing but I comply because I don’t want my teachers to worry about me.  
The more I watch my team the more tricks I pick up and the more I can see everyone’s individual playing style. I bounce at the edge of my seat when the team scrimmages, longing to hit the ball when it goes out and practically seeing myself in the gap between Asahi and Kageyama. I grit my teeth, and the frustration I was previously feeling comes back. But it doesn’t stay long.  
I talk with my senpais in the locker room and they say nothing of my sitting out, chattering about the upcoming game and the cute girl on the cover of this month’s sports magazine.  
Kageyama walks with me back to the school building, and despite our rivalry I find myself comforted by his presence by my side. I feel that if something were to go awry, Kageyama would be able to help me through it. It’s embarrassing, but I don’t brood over it.  
He waves goodbye when we get to my classroom, staring at the ground and I latch onto him in a bear hug. He pushes me off, muttering something about 15 year olds acting like elementary school kids and slouches as he walks back to his classroom.  
I muffle a snicker. He is such a tsundere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed. The chapter was a bit more happy this time, thankfully. I AM SERIOUSLY NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU GUYS CRY SOO SORRY!!! Thanks as always for the nice reviews, they mean so much.  
> I am going on vacation next week so I'll update if I can, I'll try to find a way!  
> Feel free to leave any criticism/suggestions, I love advice! :)  
> Thanks for reading!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's first trip to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I am back with the next chapter. I am on vacation, but I took a break from tanning and swimming to get this out- I'M SO DEVOTED! Just kidding, just kidding. I hope you enjoy :D

When I arrive home that night there is a stack of papers on the kitchen table and a tired looking mom slumped over them. I walk over and peer at them, curious. The papers seem to be describing cancer treatments, and my mom is glaring at them intensely, not noticing me walk in.

"Hey!" I greet her, and her head snaps up. Her tense gaze relaxes when she sees me, a warm smile spreading over her face.

"Welcome home, Hinata. I was just looking at your treatment plan. We have to leave as soon as I'm done with paperwork" she pushes one of the papers towards me and I grab it, pulling it closer to my face and squinting.

I grin sheepishly at her, shrugging my shoulders and she laughs, "I'll explain it you and so will the doctor," her face clouds for a moment, "Were you alright at school?"

I assure her that yes, I was alright, and prance to the kitchen in search of snacks. I grab a box of crackers and join my mother's side. Her attention is back on the stack of papers and she begins signing her name on some of them. When she is finished, she brushes them into a stack and stands abruptly.

"Let's go." she picks up the papers and I folllow her out the door, DS in hand. The doctor had been very clear about bringing something to pass the time.

I sigh, longing for free time, but I say nothing as we walk out to the car.

Natsu runs up behind us, looking angry, "You almost forgot me!" my mom turns around, surprised.

"I'm sorry, honey! Do you have all your stuff?" she glances at me, "I explained to Natsu what's going on, and she wants to come with you for your first hospital visit."

I nod and grab Natsu's hand with my free one, and she skips next to me as we step in to the car.

When we arrive at the hospital Natsu looks nervous, and I'm sure I do too. Our doctor is waiting there with a sharp looking woman with black hair, and he waves us over to him. I grab Natsu's hand again, more for myself than for her, and we walk over to them.

The lady smiles when she sees me up close, "Nice to meet you. Are you Hinata? I'm going to be the doctor help plan and guide you through your cancer treatments." she holds out her hand, and I reluctantly let go of Natsu's to shake it.

We follow them into a small office looking room and I plop myself down in to a plump chair by the desk. I zone out while my mom and the doctors discuss treatment, playing with Natsu's hands and kicking my feet out absentmindedly. Soon I find myself fighting off sleep, slumped over the desk listening to voices drone on in the background.

"Hinata." the doctor says, and my head snaps up, "We are going to start chemotherapy as soon as possible, hopefully tomorrow if that can be arranged. You will be hospitalized during your first stage of chemo, after the first couple of doses, as the drugs are very intense and they can have some... rather strong side effects."

"Like?" my voice is tight.

The doctor sighs and her brows crease before she begins, "You will more than likely lose your hair within a couple weeks, and you may also experience a loss of appetite, nausea and vomiting, diarrhea, tiredness, increased risk of infection, and more."

My stomach lurches as the list piles up. I can't conjure up the will to speak so I simply nod and rest my head against the table again. My mom rubs my shoulders comfortingly, but I don't relax. Too much anxiety is coiling around in my body.

"You can bring a friend to keep you company for your first few treatments before you are admitted to the hospital long term, if you would like," the female doctor says, trying to comfort me.

And it does a bit. I know exactly who I want to bring with me, and I will make him come whether he wants to or not. Something tells me he'll come without putting up a fight, though.

After what seems like hours, the doctors finally finish talking and my mother stands up, tapping my and Natsu's shoulder. We jump up eagerly, impatient to get home. A dizzy spell brings me back into the seat, my fingers clutching the edge of the table for support. My mom looks down at me helplessly while my sister stares at me, confused. After a moment of slow breathing, I push myself up out of the chair and start chattering, trying to distract myself and my family from my uncharacteristic weakness.

When I get home I immediately pull out my phone to call Kageyama, but my fingers hesitate over the green button. I sigh, exiting out of the call screen and resorting to text. I feel heat creep into my face but I ignore it stubbornly. I'm not being shy. I just don't want to wake up my family. My fingers tap fast over the touch screen, shaking.

To: Bakageyama

Subject: soo about the cancer thing

I am going 2 the hospital tmrw 4 my 1st treatment

and the doctor said I can bring a friend.. Culd u cum

w/? I get it if u dont want 2 miss school, but it wuld

b nice 2 have sum support. :DD

I reluctantly hit send and shove the phone away from me. I don't know why I am so nervous, since I talk to Kageyama all the time, but for some reason my heart is beating loud in my chest and my eyes can't help glancing towards my phone every few minutes. After 20 minutes of waiting, I sigh loudly and head towards the shower with a towel in hand, knowing that will distract me.

When I get out, refreshed, my heart jumps when I see my phone lit up. I don't look at the phone, taking my time getting changed and brushing through my crazy orange hair. Which might be gone in a few weeks.

I swallow down a lump in my throat and jump in bed, finally looking at Kageyama's reply.

From: Bakeyama

Subject: re: soo about the cancer thing

When would I meet up with your family?

And how long am I staying? I definitely

want to come, just give me the details.

ps: speak english please dumbass.

I break out into a wide grin despite my annoyance at his jab and I roll around on my stomach in excitement. I discuss the details with him in as many abbreviations and misspellings as possible, which he ignores, and soon we are talking about unrelated issues, plans for the summer and new volleyball strategies. With a start I realize it is almost 11:00. This realization is accompanied with heavy lids as my body registers the time and I text him a quick goodbye.

Despite my anxieties about tomorrow, I sleep easily knowing that Kageyama is going to be there during every step of the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I double-spaced inbetween paragraphs because I noticed how awkward it was to read some people's fanfictions when it was all bunched together. I don't have time to fix the other chapters right now, I might get around to it at some point though.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Treatment begins- not sure why this is late

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I do not know why this chapter is late- I thought I had already posted it I suppose. Anyways, you get a two chapters update today anway. Sorry about that!

I wake up early that morning, with fear coiling in my stomach. I dismiss myself to the bathroom, hunched over in pain as I stumble across the hallway. My mom rushes over to help me but I push her away with a small smile, assuring her that it is just my usual nerves. She pulls away reluctantly and I wave with a forced grin before she finally retreats to the kitchen. Along with the pain of incoming diarrhea I am suffering from a slight headache.

I heave a sigh and rub my eyes, peering at myself in the mirror. My dark circles are slightly faded but still prominent, and I am as pale as I always am in the morning. My bright hair sticks up in wild clumps and I attempt to smooth it down, resorting to water when all else fails. Finally I collapse on the toilet. The house seems to be eerily silent, and I swear my heartbeat can  be her heard for miles. It is loud and unsteady, giving away my nerves. I squeeze my eyes shut and shake my head, ignoring my uncomfortableness.

After several minutes I finally emerge in the kitchen, refreshed. My mother looks up from the food at me with a smile, “Eggs!” she announces. She holds a plate in her hands with a small portion of bright yellow scrambled eggs piled onto the plate, with toast dripping with butter on the side. My stomach growls.

I throw my tired arms up in the air, cheering lazily. The doctor had said no heavy foods and as little foods as possible, which I am uneasy about. I am usually very hungry. However, perhaps a combination of nerves and my recent loss of appetite makes the transition much easier. I gulp down a few forks full of egg and a bite of scrumptious toast before pushing the plate away. I down 2 glasses of water and lean back, lids drooping. It is early, no matter how awake I try to pretend to be. I hear footsteps and Natsu’s tired face appears in the hallway.

“We have to bring her but she’ll stay in the nursery during your treatment,” she pulls Natsu over to a seat and the daughter complies, allowing herself to be pushed into a sitting position. Her eyelids droop too, and as she pulls a glass of water to her lips she tips it a bit too much and it is promptly dumped on her face. She drops it quickly, spluttering and coughing and I laugh at her. She glares at me dryly, but she can’t hide the chagrin that darkens her face. She pouts, scraping her chopsticks against her place to create an unpleasant scraping sound. It seems to be becoming a habit.

“Stop that,” my mom scolds, pulling the utensils away from the little girl. I snort again, pointing at her and chuckling until mom’s venomous glare lands on me and it stops instantly.

The family sits in silence for several minutes before the doorbell rings, and I jump up from my seat eagerly.

“Slow down, Shouyou! I don’t want you fainting on me again!” my mom calls to me as I rush down the hallway towards the door.

I throw it open to a scowling Kageyama and a man who eerily resembles him standing behind him. Kageyama glares ahead, seemingly at nothing in particular. I wave at him and he breaks off the glare and meets my eyes. He nods at me politely before returning the glare to his feet.

“Hello, you must be Hinata. My son never stops talking about you and the rest of the volleyball team.” the middle aged man greets me with a warm smile and I snicker behind my hand at his fathers words.

Kageyama’s face twists up and I swear I see him blushing, “Hey, Hinata,” he forces out, trying to regain his composure.

I let them into the house with a smile, greeting Kageyama’s father politely. It’s awkward to see his father; I expected his mother to be here, and I feel a pang of jealousy. When my father lived with us he never got actively involved in my life. I gaze at his father a beat longer suspiciously- maybe Kageyama is in trouble or something. That must be it.

The parents move to the kitchen to talk about today’s plans and Kageyama and I sit down across from each other at the table. An awkward silence ensues, and I tap my fingers across on the wooden table, searching for something to talk about. Seconds tick by with no words exchanged, and I grow increasingly flustered as I fail to think of a topic.

To my surprise, Kageyama breaks the silence, “Are... are you ready? For the hospital, I mean,” Kageyama stumbles over his words but I am overjoyed at the effort he is taking.

I nod my head rapidly, “Yep! As long as you’re here I’m invincible, right?” I grin up at him.

Kageyama blushes again and looks away, “I was talking about volleyball when I said that, dumbass.”

Our conversation is cut off when our parents walk in to the dining area, still talking.

“Sounds good! We can pick up Kageyama whenever he needs to leave,” Kageyama’s dad is smiling warmly at my mom, and she meets his gaze strong.

My heart swells. She has become so strong.

“Of course we can take him home if he just wants to come home with Hinata, no need to go all the way out there,” she escorts him towards the door, but not in a dismissive way.

“Is your husband coming along too? I haven’t seen him yet,” the father brings up the topic casually, unprepared for the flinches that the question draws out of me and my mom.

I stare holes into the plate of food still in front of me, unsure of how mom will react. My fingers wrap tight around the table cloth and I see Kageyama looking questioningly at me. I hear mom take a deep breath and push it out shakily.

“No, he can’t come, unfortunately,” her voice is strained, and Mr. Kageyama seems to realize it’s a sore topic. He simply calls out a friendly goodbye and my mom waves to him, smile pasted on and shoulders tense.

I only look up from the plate when I hear his car pull out of the driveway, and my eyes immediately meet Kageyama’s questioning gaze. I don’t offer him an explanation, distracted by a sudden realization that is accompanied by a piercing in my gut.

Dad doesn’t want to help me through my sickness if it means having to deal with the guilt.

I clear my throat and my mom turns around to look at me, “Um... have you told him? About the sickness, I mean,” I mumble these words, not meeting her eyes.

She smiles her sad smile at me and my fists clench, “I told him. Maybe he will come another day. He seemed to be busy with something,” I know she is trying to play it down in front of Kageyama, but I still feel tears prick my eyes.

I quickly wipe them away, pasting a smile on my face, “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go kill some cancer!” I hop out of my seat and hear Kageyama slowly get up and shuffle down the hall behind me. We all pile into the five seated car, Natsu bouncing in the middle seat between us excitedly.

The car ride seems so long and so short. My dread grows with each road we pass and yet this dread seems to keep us on a loop of the same road forever. I know it’s my imagination, but that doesn’t stop it from boosting my stress level even more. Kageyama glances over at me and awkwardly pats my shoulder, but says nothing. I attempt to relax but it is futile. I can’t push the anxiety out of my mind. My fingers thrum absentmindedly on the leather seat and my feet kick out in front of me.

When we arrive, I swallow down a lump in my throat, and after getting all of our stuff- my mom brought a huge duffle bag full of who knows what- we enter a special cancer section of the hospital. I feel like I am floating. It doesn’t feel real. But I know it is. I can’t help but hope this is all one crazy realistic extremely long dream, and my light-headedness almost convinces me that it is.

While waiting to be checked in, me and Kageyama sit down in the waiting chairs next to each other and he glances around the room nervously. There are a couple other patients in the room, all middle aged, all pale, all tired looking, and all bald. Some of them seem to be eyeing me with pity.

Kageyama is biting his lip, “Are you going to end up like that?” he hisses to me, looking worried.

“How am I supposed to know, stupid?” my voice is laced with fear and he seems to sense it because he doesn’t pry. Instead he bends over to retye his sneakers, probably just to give himself something to do.

Almost immediately the doctor from yesterday is greeting me with a professional smile, shaking hands with Kageyama, and leading us into a large white room filled with reclining chairs. About 5 other people are in the room, laying leaned back on the chairs with their tired eyes closed, some being quietly soothed by relatives or friends sitting next to them.

I spot a kid who can’ be older than 9 staring blankly ahead with a tired looking mother at his side and I can feel a frown pulling down my lips. I am going to burst into tears if I don’t think of something else. I can’t do anything, however, because I am soon greeted by a new doctor.

He talks quickly and I don’t catch his name. He briefly runs over what’s about to happen (he spoke too fast or maybe I was just too overwhelmed to listen), how I might feel, and what would happen after, and I gulp nervously, ignoring his words. I probably wouldn’t have understood his medical terminology anyways.

He steers me over to one of the reclining chairs, and I  am seated next to a woman who seems to be in her 60s wearing a bandana. She doesn’t open her eyes as I approach and I don’t greet her.

The doctor takes my pulse, blood pressure, temperature, and breathing rates before leaving the room for a few minutes. In those few minutes cold fear has replaced any nervousness from this morning, and Kageyama, who is seated in a metal chair next to me looks scared, too.

“Hey, Kageyama?” my voice cracks.

He is staring at me intensely, “What.”

I hold my shaking hand out to him, my lower lip quivering, “W-will you hold my hand?” my voice is barely  more than a whisper.

He seems to have pushed away his pride, to my relief, because he grabs hold of my clammy hand with no words of disgust or protest. It may be my imagination, but his seems a bit sweaty, too. It makes me feel a bit better to know that I’m not the only one affected by this.

We sit in silence as we wait for the doctor’s return, and I long for my mother to come back from the nursery.

The doctor returns a few minutes later, some medicine in hand. He blabbers to me after handing me the medicine, which I pour into my mouth with reluctance. It takes all my willpower to not spit it out, and I make a spectacle of grabbing onto Kageyama’s shoulder and shoving a hand over my mouth as I gag on the liquid, whimpering and spluttering almost-profanities through my fingers.

Kageyama looks very, very overwhelmed. Or grossed out. Or both. He leans away, trying not to get spit on, and at that movement I swallow the last of the disgusting medicine, and I announce it to him proudly, leaning in enthusiastically, to which he cringes away.

I hear a few chuckles and a blush spreads over my face when I realize the entire room of recipients are staring at me with a mixture of annoyance, curiosity, and amusement. Kageyama shoves me away muttering a question about why he even bothered worrying.

I pout and lean back in my chair, and I barely flinch when I see the long IV needle the pulls out. I am too used to needles after my last checkup. He flips my arm over, searching for an unused vein and finally settles on one. I see Kageyama wince at the bruises littering my arm from yesterday’s needles, and I gasp when the needle pierces my skin. The pain disappears almost immediately, but a shiver still runs down my spine at the thought of the cold metal inside of me.

I reach for Kageyama’s hand again, and he wraps his around mine willingly.

I finally speak to the doctor, who is busying himself with the IV, “Is my mom coming back in?”

The doctor shrugs, “I saw her arguing with some guy in the lobby, she may be a while,” he talks softly, aware of the other patients tired state.

My fists tighten at his words. Could it be dad? Kageyama’s hand tightens around mine, and I feel comforted knowing he’s here. I relax against the back of the chair and try to push the worry about my father out of my mind.

I know that the medicine is seeping into my body through the IV and suddenly it doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t feel like I’m flushing cancer out of my body, and the thought almost makes me laugh. I can feel Kageyama’s warm hand on mine, and when I glance up at him, who is staring absentmindedly around the room, I realize he might be bored.

“Hey, Kageyama. I brought a DS if you want to play,” I offer, gesturing towards the bag I have leaning against the chair.

He nods, letting go of my cold hand and leaning over to the bag. I quickly pull my hand back to my side, pushing it against my stomach to get the warm sensation back. Soon Kageyama has my DS out and he taps quickly with his thumbs, completely absorbed in the machine.

“What are you playing?” I ask him quietly, desperate to fill the silence.

He glances up at me before his eyes travel back down to the game. He continues to tap as he speaks, “Pokemon. You don’t mind I started a new game, right? I won’t save over your file.”

I wave my free hand dismissively, “Nah, you can save over it. My sister already saved over my file. Right before I got to the elite four, too, so I refuse to play it again.” I shiver in anger as I remember the incident.

“Alright then.” he doesn’t look up from the game again and I find my eyelids drooping before long. They open again when I see a figure step through the door in my peripherals.

It’s my mom. I raise my head and smile at her, and although her face is pale and stiff, she returns the smile.

“How are you doing?” her voice is gentle and her heels clack against the tile floor. When she reaches my seat she leans over and kisses my forehead, pulling a seat up next to Kageyama.

“Who were you talking to?” I ignore her question, leaning forward slightly in anticipation.

Her hand tighten at her sides and she sighs, “I knew you would want to know. It was your father.”

I clutch my hands to my sides, “Why was he here? I thought you said he didn’t want to come!” my voice is soft yet demanding.

She closes her eyes, her eyebrows creasing angrily, “He thought now was a good time to meet up with me about court information.”

A frown pulls at my face, and my mom seems to sense I’m upset because she changes the subject to volleyball. Kageyama, who had been listening to our exchange, perks up at the mention and as I talk, he nods intensely. My mom chuckles at my stories and soon Kageyama joins in, abandoning the DS to focus on correcting me when I say something inaccurate. We talk for almost thirty minutes before my mom leaves to get me a drink at my request.

I had been told that I may get thirsty during the process but I didn’t realize just how fast the thirst would set in. I eagerly await my mother’s return. Kageyama hasn’t moved from his spot since the beginning, and he has returned to playing on the small device. I grin at his intensity. He glares at the screen as if it has committed a wrong doing.

Soon enough my mom returns and I eagerly gulp down the water until it is halfway full. I set it down on the floor next to me and lay my head back, letting my eyelids slide shut. I breathe slowly in and out and soon enough the flickering hospital lights fade and darkness envelopes my racing mind.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy, next chapter should be out by the time your done reading this!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama and family helps Hinata deal with the side-effects.

I wake up to find the chatty doctor from earlier smiling down at me. I yawn and rub my bleary eyes and gasp when I realize the IV is already out of my arm. The frail woman who was lying next to me when I was last awake is gone, along with several other patients. I must have been out for a while. Kageyama is glaring at me impatiently and my mom looks a little embarrassed.

“Sorry, sorry, I don’t know what came over me,” my eyes widen when the words come out a small croak. I didn’t realize my throat feels like sandpaper until I spoke.

The doctor spots the water on the ground by my chair and hands it up to me, to which I graciously accept. I gulp down the rest of the water. My mouth feels swollen from being so dry but I am already feeling better.

“It’s totally normal for chemo to take it out of you, don’t apologize for anything,” the doctor informs me with a smile. He hands a packet of medicine to my mom, and starts again, “You should be able to go to school tomorrow. The first few sessions you can go home inbetween, mainly to get you into the swing of things, but after a couple of weeks you’ll be staying in the hospital for a while. Here is some medicine for the nausea which is almost guaranteed. It is going to be pretty bad, but you can do it, it will only be for a day, maybe two. ” He pats my shoulder and I shudder imagining the tortuous remains of the day ahead of me.

I pull myself up till my feet are dangling over the side of the chair. I stand up, wobbling slightly after sitting so long, but I feel strong on my feet. Luckily. Our small family leaves in a hurry, stopping to pick up Natsu before we scurry out the doors to the car. I’m not sure why we are in such a rush, but I simply follow suit. We finally slow down when we get to the parking lot, and my mom seems to be looking nervously at me as if expecting me to collapse mid-step. It bothers me a bit, the way she is constantly glancing at me out of the corner of her as if she doesn’t trust me, but I know she is just worried so I don’t call her out on it.

I nearly fall asleep again on the car ride home and when we arrive at my house I struggle to push myself up. I am uncontrollably tired. Even the drowsiness that I had the past few weeks was nothing compared to this feeling of being dragged under against my will. I am faintly aware of Natsu and Kageyama staring at me curiously but I zone it out, focused on breathing in and out and staying awake.

I hear Kageyama talking to my mom softly and a few seconds later my door opens and I feel hands grip my shoulder. I lean in to the touch, my eyes half lidded and I am pulled to my feet. I lean heavily against the hard, muscular body and I think I hear Kageyama swearing. Something about how small people shouldn’t weigh so much. I tune it out and let myself be guided inside the house. I am unsteady on my feet, and the broken beat of my footsteps becomes a sort of rhythm that I follow in my head as I force myself to keep walking down the hallway.

When we turn into my bedroom I collapse onto the bed and the darkness envelopes me almost immediately.

_______

I wake up to stressed voices in the kitchen and then silence. Then I hear my mother’s raised voice and I wonder for a while if Kageyama did something wrong. I shake the thought away after I ponder it for a while. Kageyama isn’t the type to do troublesome things.

I peer around to see Kageyama walking quickly down the hallway towards my room, DS in hand. He walks through my door and settles on my floor, leaning against the wall. A long breath escapes his lips, and he lowers the DS a bit to stare longingly at the wall across from him.

“What’s going on?” I mumble.

He jumps his eyes widening as he realizes I am awake. He pastes an awkward smile on his face, shrugging, and I would laugh if I wasn’t so tired. Instead a small smile flits over my lips before I close my eyes again.

He clears his throat, and I force myself to listen, “Your mom got in a huge fight with someone over the phone...” I hear him shift, making a floorboard creak and I nod my head slightly.

“Probably my dad...” I roll over, nuzzling deep into my pillow.

I don’t hear what Kageyama says next because dreamless sleep pulls me under again.

____

 

I wake up with a start. My stomach is flipping repeatedly and I clutch it, my hands clawing at my shirt. I writhe in discomfort, vaguely aware of a whimper-like moan rising from my throat. I throw myself off the bed, landing on the floor with a thud and clamber up towards the trashcan. The cold wood of my floor hits my knees and palms like a hammer and it travels through my body, enraging the already brewing storm in my body.  I don’t get to the waste-bin soon enough. I wretch on the floor, and when I am done I roll a few feet away from the foul smelling puddle so I don’t get myself dirty. My stomach is still screaming but I can’t  do anything about it. I lay there panting, tears pricking in my eyes, throat stinging. I faintly register the thud of footsteps in the hallway and my door slams open. I new wave of nausea hits me hard at that exact moment and I only clutch my stomach harder as softer, more cautious footsteps approach me. I strain my head up to see the owner and groan internally.

“Eww...” Kageyama pauses for a moment, staring at the puddle on the floor, before snapping his attention to me, “Oi, Hinata, sorry I went to get a glass of water and I come back to this.. Man, my bad. Here, come here.” He pulls me up, hands in my armpits and I shakily get to my feet, swallowing back bile. He hoists me up with a grunt and I lean all my weight into his palms, feeling his body firm against my back. He pushes me forward, and I wobble with every step we take. He keeps an arm around my back and under my arm as he escorts me to the bathroom sets me down on the toilet.

I clutch my mouth again and he jumps out of the way just in time as I heave into the bathroom trashcan, sobs wracking my body. I don’t know when the tears started, but they won’t stop.

He stares down at me for a few seconds, obviously bewildered before turning to leave the room, “I’m getting your mom!” he calls to me from the hallway.

I don’t have to wait long, my mom is here and leaning over me, brushing my sweaty hair off of my forehead with soft hands and rubbing my back.

“Honey, do you need to take the medicine the doctor gave us?” her voice is soft and comforting, but it doesn’t take the pain away.

I nod at her, my lip quivering and she rushes off to get the baggy full of supplies.

Kageyama steps up to me, twiddling his thumbs, “Hey, you okay, dumbass?” his voice is softer than normal, hesitant.

“What do you think, stupid?” my voice is thick with tears.

I glare up at him and his eyes narrow, but he says nothing.

“Should I go clean up the... mess?” he leans against the wall awkwardly.

I nod, desperate to be alone and eager to alleviate some of my mom’s burden, even at Bakageyama’s expense.. I don’t like him seeing me like this. I hear his footsteps recede and the moment he leaves the nausea hits me in a new wave and I clutch my hand over my mouth.

My mom joins me back in the bathroom a few moments later, a syringe in hand. I grab the glass of water she set on the sink and gulp down eagerly, only pausing to allow my mom to pierce the needle into my wrist, before I continue drinking. By now the needles that once terrified me aren’t even felt; when I see my mom holding one I don’t feel any reaction other than relief.

“Thanks, Mom,” I gasp when I am finished drinking, dragging oxygen into my deprived lungs.

“You okay, there?” she is frowning a bit and I look up at her without smiling.

I shake my head, “This is the worst. I’ve never felt anything like this. It won’t go away. ”

“It will soon, don’t worry. Just go back to your room and lay down for a bit, call me if you need anything,” she helps me stand up and guides me back to my room with sturdy hands.

I am not as tired anymore and I lay with my eyes open in my bed. It smells of cleaning product and I am suddenly appreciative of Kageyama’s effort. He is supposed to be a guest and I told him to work in the heat of the moment. I shake the thought away, glancing at my alarm clock curiously. I nearly gasp when I realize it is only 7:00 PM. I didn’t sleep as long as I thought I had.

A few minutes later Kageyama rejoins me in my room, wiping damp,  clean smelling hands on his shorts. I smile weakly at him and he nods in response, settling back down against the wall and pulling my DS out of his pocket.

“Sorry this isn’t very entertaining for you. I didn’t think it would be this bad,” I admit, scooching closer to edge of the bed to talk to him.

He shakes his head, “It’s not your fault. I am choosing to stay here; you’re not forcing me to do anything,” I am surprised at his honesty, but before I can say anything my stomach clenches up again and I gasp. He winces, looking away from the DS at me helplessly.

“Do you need anything?” he sounds hesitant.

I simply shake my head at him and stumble over to a trashcan. I lean over it and hack and cough but I have nothing left to throw up and so I just sit there leaned over my trashcan dry-heaving, my throat burning. I sit there for several minutes as bouts of nausea roll through me, tightening my muscles and clenching my organs.

I don’t realize Kageyama comes up behind me until he lays his hand on my back, surprisingly gentle. He doesn’t move it, and I feel the heat of his hand through my shirt. It is oddly comforting, but it doesn’t make my stomach feel any better. The torture continues for what feels like forever, his gentle support guiding me through it.

A few minutes later I lean back, panting, and look up at Kageyama. He is blushing. Hard. I smile up at him, “Thanks, stupid,”

He doesn’t respond.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, I hope you enjoyed. I've been having some back problems so I've been in bed all day and I am getting SO ANTSY, and all I have been doing is reading fanfiction. Since I am running out of good stuff, here is my request- in your comments, it would be nice to hear some recommendations (only if you want to, of course). Can you guys let me know your favorite angsty romances for Haikyuu, Fullmetal Alchemist, Black Butler, No. 6, Loveless, or any anime really. It would make my year!
> 
> With that aside, please comment with any questions or requests, and expect the next update Saturday! Okay back to homework.


	13. MBP 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update! I do have an excuse, though. I wat at Destination Imagination state competition (if you know what this is you're awesome) and the hotel I was staying at didn't have wifi. So there. Here's the longest chapter to date, though, so I hope you forgive me.

 

Me and Kageyama sit on my bedroom floor and talk for hours, stopping every once and a while during a bout of nausea. I am learning new things about Kageyama, and one is that he is very adaptable, despite his social dysfunction. He is quickly learning what can make me feel better when sickness kicks in and he soon realizes that silence makes me uncomfortable. He forces himself to talk about little things, anything, really, to take my mind off how my body feels. I am immensely grateful that he is going to such lengths for me; a week ago if somebody was to tell  me that Kageyama could be comforting I would have laughed.

Around 9:00 I can tell the drug has set in after a half hour of no nausea. I sigh in relief and inform Kageyama, who visibly relaxes. I hear a knock on the door and we invite my mom in, her eyes widening when she sees we are sitting relaxed facing each other instead of the hand-held devices we had been clinging to at the hospital.

“How are you feeling?” she steps in, setting some clean laundry on my desk.

“I’m good, thanks. I think the medicine is finally working,” I give her a small smile and throw her a thumbs up.

She nods and smiles back at me, “Let me know if you feel anything odd, okay? We can put you on a different medicine if needed.”

I raise an eyebrow at her, “What medicine did I take, anyway?”

“It’s called Droperidol. The doctor said there is going to be a few weeks of testing for all the drugs we’re putting in you, and chances are some things will work and some things won’t.”

I swallow hard, “And what exactly lets us know if something doesn’t work?” my voice is slow and weighing.

She winces and nods at me, confirming my fears, walking away quickly.

After the door closes, I bury my face in my hands.

“Hey, it’s probably gonna be fine. The doctor just tells you that stuff so you’re expecting the worse... I think...” Kageyama seems unsure what to say to me.

I groan, “Very comforting!” I pick myself up and sprawl out on my bed, sighing into my pillow. My sleepiness is growing by the minute and soon I feel the world fade away-

“Hey, Hinata, wait, you can’t go to sleep!” Kageyama’s voice is desperate.

I open my groggy eyes, peering up at him, “Wha’s wrong?”

“I almost forgot we have to do homework still! We have school tomorrow, after all!” I shoot him a glare.

“I don’t really care. The teachers know I have cancer, they’ll let me pass even if I don’t do it...” Even as I speak my words slowly start to blur together with tiredness.

“Get. Up.” Kageyama seems really annoyed now, so I somehow force my heavy body upright in bed, not wanting to ruin this oddly friendly day.

I rub my eyes and then squint, still not adjusted to the light.

“Look, dumbass. I know you feel like shit and you’re probably really tired- hell, I am too, and I didn’t have a bunch of needles and medicines shoved into me- but you can’t take advantage of your sickness. Finish the homework with me fair and square, and I will race you to school tomorrow,” he stops, as if realizing he just said too much.

I almost whimper at the thought of racing anyone anywhere and shake my head, “I’ll pass...” my head bobs up and down with sleep. And as I attempt to swallow, I realize my mouth is so dry I can’t.

I lean past Kageyama in search of my glass of water and realize with dismay that it is empty. I point to it desperately, and Kageyama’s angry face relaxes and he nods. He grabs the cup and walks out the door quickly.

I snicker to myself. If only I could boss Kageyama around every day.

_____

That night I wake up repeatedly in desperate need of water, which Kageyama groggily retrieves for me, only looking slightly annoyed. I am thankful but don’t say so, drifting back into sleep as soon as I have consumed enough water. Kageyama lays on an air mattress next to my bed but I am not sure if he sleeps at all.

In the morning I would have slept through my alarm if not for the setter’s grumpy face shaking me awake. He turns away when my eyes are open, mumbling something about waiting in the kitchen. I note the dark circles under his eyes and I wince, feeling guilt prick my stomach, but I shake it off (WHOO TAYLOR SWIFT).

After I am changed -I wince at new bruises littering my body despite the fact that I don’t remember bumping anything- I head to the kitchen, yawning and stumbling and slump into a chair. It doesn’t even register when a bowl of cereal pushes in front of me and I slowly look at the hand, then up the arm, and finally make eye contact with Kageyama. I shake my head, waving my hands out in front of me.

“I’m not that hungry today,” It’s the truth. I feel no desire to eat, and even if I were to eat I may just upchuck it at school, which does not sound desirable. We compromise and I stuff a granola bar in my bag in case I get hungry.

“Your mom left early for work, in case you were wondering,” Kageyama informs me, shuffling around with his backpack and duffel bag from our sleepover.

It didn’t even register until Kageyama told me that mom isn’t here, and I gasp at how forgetful I am becoming, “Is this because of cancer, too?” I am horrified and my voice shakes.

I feel dull pain on the top of my head and Kageyama is glaring down at me, “No, dumbass, this isn’t new. You’ve always been a forgetful moron.”

I glare and push past him, stepping outside. He follows close behind and we walk slowly to school. I can tell he is itching to exercise but he says nothing, and I don’t offer for him to run ahead of me. I don’t want him to.

At Kageyama’s insistence, we stop into the school office before going to volleyball practice and inform them of my current weakness and nausea. We make sure to assure them it is most likely gone, but not be worried if it flares up again. The office lady looks up at me sympathetically and I turn and walk away before she can say anything embarrassing.

“Are you going to tell the rest of the team yet?” I look up at Kageyama at his question and I can feel my palms start to sweat.

I clear my throat, “Well, I suppose I have to. They aren’t going to believe it’s a normal sickness for too much longer, and the coach already knows... Yeah. I guess I kinda have to, right?” I smile up at him, feeling my heartbeat loud in my ears.

I walk into the gym and immediately move towards Mr. Takeda who is chatting to Ukai. They look up when they see me approaching, their eyes growing concerned.

“Welcome back, Hinata. Did everything go well?” Takeda nearly jumps out of his seat.

I rub the back of my neck, “Yeah, more or less...” I glance at Kageyama who is waiting for me across the gym. I take a deep breath, and force it out, “Do you think we could gather the team around? I kinda was hoping I could tell them about... about my cancer.” my voice comes out squeakier than I intended.

Takeda nods with a smile and Coach Ukai stands up, shouting across the gym to gather the team members. I stand by the teachers and the team surrounds us in a semi-circle, looking curious.

Takeda nods encouragingly at me, and I force my eyes up to look at the rest of the team, “So... I just wanted to let you guys know that... I went to the doctor for all my weird dizzy rushes and fevers.” I pause for a minute, glancing around the crowd. The upperclassmen are looking at me, some curious and other concerned, while Tsukishima and Yamaguchi mutter to each other towards the edge of the gorup, ignoring me. I take a big breath before continuing, “Well, I found out that I have cancer. Cancer in my bone marrow, Leukemia. And I’m starting chemotherapy, which is why I was absent yesterday, and I just wanted to let you know I’m not gonna be able to play to the best of my ability for a long time, not until chemotherapy stops. And,” I bite my lip, “I’m probably going to be really weak for a long time, and I can’t help it. That’s the way things we’ll be from now on.” My head is down and my hands clutch the thin fabric of my pants.

The team is silent. Even Tsukishima stopped talking to Yamaguchi and is staring at me with concern written on his face. And then Nishinoya forces a laugh out, and his eyes widen when he sees that I’m serious.

“Hey, Hinata, this is nothing serious, right? Like you’re going to live...?” Nishinoya’s voice is quieter than usual and he leans in towards me, desperation in his taut features. I see Daichi flick the back of his head but I smile at him, waving it off.

And I answer him honestly, “The doctor said I have a 90% chance because of the type of Leukemia I have, but since I am high risk because of my age, I still have to be very careful. They’re doing intensive chemo to make sure they’ve killed off all the cancer, and then I’ll be fine,” I smile and push 2 thumbs out, but only Asahi hesitantly returns my smile.

I laugh nervously, my hands wringing at my pant fabric, “That’s about it. You can go back to practice now.”

The team stares at me for a moment later, pale and wide eyed.

“You can’t just tell us this and then brush it off! This is serious!” I don’t know who the voice comes from, but my hands clutch tighter to my pants.

I can feel a lump in my throat, but I swallow past it and nod, my lip quivering. This is exactly how I didn’t want them to react, “What do you want me to tell you?” I don’t mean to sound whiny, but my voice echoes needily through the gym.

“I don’t know... What’s going to happen, why didn’t you tell us before, why IS this happening?” the voice sounds angry and I flinch away from it, unable to provide answers. I have broken in to a sweat and I know that if I attempt to speak, a sob will replace the words and tears will fall.

Seeming to sense my discomfort, Takeda speaks up, “I think you guys should go get changed and we can discuss this later. Hinata isn’t feeling his best right now.” I want to snap at that painstakingly gentle voice, I want to glare up at his kind, sad gaze, but my shoulders are shaking with the effort it takes to hold myself together.

I hear tentative footsteps receding, and when I force myself to look up, Kageyama is the only teammate remaining, and he stands there with a conflicted look on his face. I can feel my throat tightening and without another word I rush towards the bathroom, stumbling because I can’t see through my tears. I thought after I told them, the weight would be off my chest and we could go back to being a happy team with no worries, but I was wrong. Everybody is scared now, reluctant to even talk to me, and more weight than ever crushes my shoulders down.

I feel something tug on the back of my collar but I ignore it and keep walking, unwilling to let whoever is pursuing me see my tears. The hand rips me around and my eyes widen at Kageyama who pushes me the few remaining feet into the bathroom before crushing me into a hug. It is so tight it’s hard to breathe, but I don’t care, and before I even realize it I am sobbing into his chest and ranting to him and asking him why, why, why? He rubs my back soothingly like he did last night when I was hacking up dinner and I relax at his touch.

“Don’t worry about it, dumbass. It’s fine. Hell, after you told me, I couldn’t sleep for a night. Everything’s going to go back to normal. Just give the team time, it’s a lot of information to take in. It’s not like they hate you.” Kageyama seems to be saying whatever pops into his head in an attempt to calm me down, but I appreciate it.

I nod, pushing away from him and look up to meet his eyes. He looks as awkward and out of place as always trying to comfort me, but I smile and wipe my eyes.

“Thanks, stupid. I don’t know what got into me.” I sniff and wipe the remaining tears out of my eyes and off my face.

“Cancer,” he mutters under his breath, and I punch him in the arm at his cruel joke.

After I am done blowing my nose, we emerge from the small room to see the team crowded up around Takeda. He is talking to them with his hands, smiling and glancing in our direction- his talking stops when he sees us. The team turns around in unison, and Tanaka’s eyes widen he sees me. He clambers up to me, grabbing my wrists enthusiastically.

“Hinataa!! Why are you crying?? Cheer up, bro, it’s time to play volleyball!” he stops quickly, crimson spreading on his face, “Well, that is, if you’re allowed...”

I almost start crying again but instead I laugh, shaking my head, “No, don’t worry! I’m definitely playing.”

The rest of the team slowly approaches, and I see Suga looking at me guiltily. He glances at the other team members and they all nod to each other. I stare at them in confusion, and nearly jump when all at once they bow.

“We’re very sorry, Hinata. The way we reacted to what you said was unacceptable. We know how hard it must have been for you to tell us, and we intend to support you however possible. Don’t worry about us, just focus on getting better” Daichi’s strong voice echoes around the gym and my lips press together.

There are a million things I want to say, some accusatory and others grateful, but instead I smile widely and jump my high jump, yelling impatiently. The team, primarily Tanaka and Nishinoya, whoops and yells as we begin warm ups, and I can feel my spirits being lifted immediately.

I’m glad I’m finally back. It feels like forever since I came here, when in reality it was just a few days. I stretch towards my toes, amazed at how stiff I have become in such little time. I can barely reach my toes. When I do, though, I join the rest of the team at serving practice, and I groan, knowing this is one of my weaknesses. Why this today of all days?

I keep going anyway, until with a jolt I realize I am becoming nauseous again. I excuse myself from practice immediately, almost jogging to the restroom. I lean over the grimy toilet, grimacing at the small distance my face and the bowl have between them. I can feel it coming, and I hack loudly into the toilet.

It’s probably loud enough for the team to hear, but I can’t control the noise level. It’s going to come out whether I like it or not. I clutch over my stomach, groaning, and fall back against the stall door. I hear a knock and I reluctantly call the person in.

Takeda-sensei’s soft voice calls me out from the stall and I force myself to my feet, one arm still wrapped around my stomach. At a second thought, I flush the toilet and only when it is all down I open the door. The teacher stands there with a slight crease in his brow but a kind smile on his face, a glass of water in hand.

I graciously accept it and down the water quickly, surprised at how dehydrated I was.  

“Do you think,” I choke out, “you could possibly bring me my bag?”

Takeda nods seriously and leaves in a hurry. He returns 30 seconds later with my bag in hand and I rifle through it for the syringe and medicine. Takeda had informed my family that he took a first aid class and knows how to properly administer drugs via syringe, so I am not hesitant in lending my arm to him. He does it quickly and I sigh in relief, knowing this pain is going to go away.

“Practice ends in 15 minutes. Are you going to feel better by then?”

My stomach clenches and I slowly shake my head. Takeda seems to think for a moment before he leaves the bathroom without a word. I don’t make an attempt to see where he’s going, instead I sit completely down onto the dirty tiled floor and lean heavily against the wall. Nausea is still coursing through my body but I don’t feel that I am going to vomit again.

A few minutes later Takeda returns with Suga behind him, “I have to teach a class first bell but Sugawara has a study hall so he can stay behind and watch you until you feel better, if you would like.”

I look up at Suga and force a small smile which he returns pleasantly.

“I’ll leave you two alone then. Get me if you need anything, Suga.” Suga nods and kneels down next to me, waiting till the door shuts to speak.

“Hinata, how are you feeling?” his smile is warm and I feel myself relax a bit.

“I feel okay. It’s not as bad as last night, so I’ll be fine. I wasn’t expecting to get sick again today.” I admit, shrugging my shoulders and avoiding Suga’s eyes. He doesn’t seem to mind.

Suga checks his watch and peers out the door for a moment, “Hey, wanna go out into the gym? The air is more... pleasant,” he chuckles and I agree, using the wall to pull myself up. His hand presses gently against my shoulder, lending me faint support. I appreciate it and we walk over to the bench together.

I hiss air through my teeth as my stomach lurches again, and he abandons my shoulder as he dashes to the First-Aid kit and pulls a paper bag, shoving it towards me. I don’t use it but accept it and I sit down on the bench heavily. Suga sits down a few chairs away from me, and I use the extra room to lay down on my side across the bench. I breathe slowly, trying to focus on something besides the nagging feeling in my stomach with no success. I hear a bell ring but leaving the gym doesn’t even cross my mind. Several time I come close to soiling the bag in my hands but I never do, and within an hour the nausea has subsided, replaced by tiredness. I remember now that the doctor had said that this medicine could make me sleepy and I regret taking it despite how much better I feel.

I tell Suga I can go back to class and he smiles as he walks me to my classroom. He talks to my dreadful teacher for a minute and smiles at the class, waving goodbye to me as he exits. The teachers eyes narrow at me but he says nothing, and I smile. The other students seem curious, but I ignore them, instead reflecting on everything leading up to sitting here today from this morning. The teacher, despite some long glares in my direction, never picks on me the entire bell, even when I almost fall asleep at one point, and a smile almost spreads on my face when I wake up to my face slamming into my desk. Sugawara must have said something very persuasive to the evil teacher.

I grin knowingly. Sugawara is a force to be reckoned with. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There! I hope you are satisfied with the team's reactions, I'm not completely happy with it but I don't see myself going back to fix it. I should update regularly on Wednesday, so keep your eyes peeled then!
> 
> Please comment with questions, suggestions, and your thoughts, I would love to hear it! Thanks for reading!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I don't even know what to say. I was supposed to update half a week ago. And I had the chapter done. I just was too lazy to upload it. You can slap me, it's okay, I am slapping myself. And I procrastinated so I don't know if I am going to get today's chapter up tonight. And how did I procrastinate, you might ask? Reading fanfiction. I am terrible. Please forgive me. I am a pathetic excuse for a human being.

The next few days speed by and the next appointment for chemo comes up at an alarming rate. I already talked to Kageyama about it and he agreed to accompany me to the appointment again. I feel bad for dragging him out of class but he doesn't seem to mind too much, and he knows the most about my cancer besides my mom. Asking the other teammates would be awkward, and I don't want to think about going alone.

We pick Kageyama up at his house this time, and he comes out with a small suitcase and a bored look. After placing his stuff in the trunk, he climbs into the back of the car next to me and I offer him a smile.

"Thanks for coming with me again, it really means a lot," I want to reach out and hug him, but I hold myself back.

He rolls his eyes and offers me a tight smile, "I wouldn't be coming if I didn't want to."

I nod enthusiastically and then return to my DS, chattering lightly to him. My mom pulls away and Kageyama takes a book out of his bag, nodding every so often as I talk. The car soon falls into silence, and I can feel dread creeping in on me like a shadow. I'm not nervous about what's going to happen, as I have experienced it already, but I am scared for the pain that accompanies chemotherapy. I don't want to throw up nonstop again. It hurt and I felt weak and helpless.

I focus on my game, glaring at the cars that pass me in the screen. A few minutes later we arrive at the hospital and the same doctor as last time greets us and quickly runs over some stuff with my mom.

"How did your medication work out?" the doctor directs the question towards me this time.

I fight the urge to glare up at him and respond evenly, "It stopped the nausea, but it made me really tired."

The doctor nods at me, "If that's all, we can continue that medication."

I feel anger in my stomach for his nonchalance about my struggles, but say nothing and follow him into the room with chairs. I plop down on one and Kageyama sighs behind me and lowers himself into a chair next to me.

"Do you mind if I leave you alone for the infusion? I wanted to get some shopping done," my mom sounds hesitant.

I clench my hands at my sides and force myself to nod, "Yeah, that's fine, Kageyama can keep me company." Kageyama nods in agreement.

I don't want her to go but I feel so guilty about all of this that I can't tell her to stay. I watch her leave and feel my throat tighten.

I raspy voice next to me turns my head, "Hon', you know that's not exactly normal." An elderly woman next to me looks sympathetic, a kind smile on her face.

"What's not normal?"

"I was here during your first time, too, and your mother wasn't in the room a majority of the time then either. That is not normal. Most kids who do chemo have their parents with them the entire time. Is she treating you alright? This is a scary process, it's weird that she entrusts you to another kid." the voice grows steadier as it continues, but I raise my hands before she can continue.

I shake my head, smiling a bit. "No, don't worry about it. She's not abusing me or anything, this is just a lot for her to process and she needs some time alone sometimes."

I hear the woman mumble something under her breath but she nods and closes her eyes again.

Several medications later, I am hooked up to an IV and the treatment begins. I let myself fall asleep this time and I wake up shortly before I am taken off of it. Kageyama has dozed off too, and I raise a heavy hand to shake him awake. He blinks and seems to take a few seconds to realize where he is before a scowl darkens his face.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep," he seems embarrassed. I cheerfully inform him that I was asleep too and it was not biggie. We chat for a while before my mom returns. The glare the lady next to me shoots at her does not go unnoticed from any of us, but my mom chooses to ignore it.

I'm not sure what to think of what the lady said to me so I try not to think about it at all. We head to my house and I am tempted to take the nausea medication right away but after several protests from mom and Kageyama I agree to hold back until I feel sick.

I sit in the living room this time, head lolling to the side as fatigue sets over me but nausea comes faster this time. Before I can fall asleep I am clenching my gut, laying on my side and squirming. Kageyama, who was sitting on a neighboring couch, gets up to find me a bag. I don't want him to leave but know he has to. My mom administers the drug to me and Kageyama equips me with a grocery bag.

I continue laying there for about an hour until the drug seems to kick in and yesterday's effects of the drug seem stronger today, perhaps because I am more awake. The world is blurry in front of me and I have trouble processing what happens. I think Kageyama leaves the room at one point and I call him back in with slurred cries.

"Where y'goin'?" I ask when he returns to the room with an incomprehensible expression.

"I was going to get a drink... Do you want some too?" he seems unsure.

I close my eyes and ignore his question, slipping into dreamless sleep.

At some point I wake up to an empty room. My throat tightens and a frown pulls at my lips, but no sound escapes my mouth. I prop myself up with some effort and attempt to stand, but my knees buckle and so I resort to crawling across the floor to the doorway. When I reach the door I reach up and grab the doorknob with a shaky hand and manage to pull myself up. Black spots dance in my vision but I pay them no mind as I stumble across the cold wood hallway into the kitchen.

I vaguely realize that a heated conversation was going on in the room, but it stops when I stagger in. My mom has a defeated look in her eye and my heart jumps when I realize my father is standing in the room with her. Kageyama is sitting at the kitchen table, looking very awkward, and I am sure he is contemplating leaving the room. He looks up at me with a start and questions me with his gaze. I turn away from him and shakily pull a chair out at the table next to him, watching as my parents angry faces melt away into emberassment.

"Hi dad," I manage to choke out.

His clenched fists loosen a bit and he stares at the table in front of me, his short frame hanging in what I can only guess is regret.

"Hi, Hinata. How are you feeling?" his voice sounds on the urge of breaking.

I stare at the wall behind him, unwilling to meet his eyes, and shake my head, "Better than ever," my voice wavers a bit.

I can see his face morph into anger but don't flinch as he stomps toward me.

"Was that backtalk?" his loud voice grates in my head and I wince, raising my hands to cover my ears.

"Excuse me. You are not a part of this household anymore. I think it's best if you leave before you make Hinata throw up again," my mom's voice is tight and angry, and her heels clack against the tile as she walk toward him.

I drop my head to the table, cradling it in my arms as cross voices slowly raise into the fighting I heard previously. I hear my name being thrown around a lot, and when I feel Kageyama's hand on my shoulder I shake him off. I raise myself slowly to my feet, which goes unnoticed by the adults in the room.

At first my voice is soft and shaky, "Stop, guys."

My parents ignore me, yelling at each other and my dad brings his hands above his head for an indignant comeback. He is cut off by my mom, "You're saying it's for the kids' best interest that both of us are here for them, but what are you doing for them? Hinata is struggling with cancer and wasting MY money at the hospital -which you refuse to help pay for- and what are you doing to help- showing up at my house to get an argument with us?" my mother's voice is shrill and screechy, a voice I thought I wouldn't have to hear again after dad moved out.

Maybe it's that thought that brings my anger to a high. I slam my hands on the table, bringing out a loud bang that seems to make time go still. My parents have stopped yelling and slowly turn their irate gazes to me. My mom's softens when she sees my upset face.

My lower lip is trembling but I refuse to let any more emotion show on my face besides this.

My voice is soft and tight with emotion, "You guys are throwing around me and my problems, talking about what's best for ME, talking about me like I'm a burden- like I wanted this to happen. Look, mom, I didn't realize that this was such a bother to you. We don't have to keep getting treatments, you can just let me die if fees are that much of a problem for you. And you!" I turn my gaze to my dad, "What the hell are you doing? You haven't been here to even see how I'm doing, and you show up at our house to start an argument that you know you're not going to win? And you are saying I'd be better off with you?! I despise you. Leave. I don't want you in my life anymore. Why does it feel like I'M the adult here?! Can't you guys ever solve your problems in a way that doesn't involve yelling and bringing me and Natsu into this? Do you know how guilty Natsu feels because she thinks we're the reason you guys do this? If you want to fight, go outside, I can't stand either of you when you're like this." I can feel tears leaking out of my eyes and I wipe them with my elbow, sniffing.

I can hear my mom saying something gentle, apologetic to me, but I hear none of it, stomping out of the kitchen to my room. I hear footsteps follow me and I almost snap at them to go away when I realize that it's Kageyama. And he heard that entire thing.

I still cry, but my face burns with emberassment (I KNOW I SPELLED THIS WRONG BUT I GIVE UP I CAN'T SPELL THIS WORD). He doesn't say anything about it, though. He just moves to my desk with a book in hand.

"You don't feel like throwing up, right?" his voice seems hesitant.

I sniff and nod at him, "Yeah I think the medicine did it's trick." I hesitate for a moment,  
"Sorry you had to see that."

He shakes his head at me, "Dumbass. It's not your fault." His voice seems a little tighter than usual and when I look up at him I see him biting his lower lip. It's the most emotion I've ever seen him show, and my heart jumps a little in my chest. I shake my head, pulling my covers back and climbing into bed, letting my shaky vision and twitchy muscles fade away into the background.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With that aside, I wrote this chapter while vomiting, sick in bed with a stomach bug so I could really relate to Hinata on a personal level. Heh. Sorry that was bad.   
> I have an announcement to make:   
> When I first started writing this, I wrote ahead like 15 chapters and then I just had to go in and edit them and add details before posting which allowed me to update twice a week. Unfortunately, we are on chapter 15 and school is getting busier, which means it's going to take me longer to get chapters written. So in order to not constantly disappoint you guys and myself by failing to upload a chapter, I am just going to start updating on Saturdays. So weekly. I'm sorry, I know how frustrating waiting for chapters can be. Trust me. I'm gonna try to be more consistent with my updates as a compromise, so I hope you can accept this!
> 
> Well, anyway. If you have any questions, comments, suggestions, please don't hesitate to comment, I appreciate every. single. one of you. See you again HOPEFULLY tonight. If not, punch me.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata's hospital time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧.  
> It's my gift to you for waiting half a week longer than usual for an update. Did I mention last chapter that I'm updating Saturday's only now?

The medication I take for my nausea makes me tired and restless, an effect I thought was just nerves during my first treatment. The medication gives me some panic attacks, too, and despite my reluctance to take the medicine again after hearing that it is culprit to my discomfort, the doctor has told me these side-effects are better than what the alternative drugs could do to me. So I bear with it.

Not a day after my second cancer treatment, I am to be admitted to the hospital. This is news that my mother failed to tell me in advance. After yesterday’s argument, a tense atmosphere shrouds our household, and yet neither of us mention the occurrence. Father wasn’t there when I woke up, much to my relief, and I made a point of cutting my mom off whenever she tried to mention it.

“Do you have everything you need?” Mom pulls a large black suitcase down the hallway in front of me. She doesn’t look at me as she speaks.

“Probably.” I try to sound casual, but my voice emerges taut as her harsh words to my dad echo in my mind.

She nods at me, her eyes skimming over my face but avoiding my eyes, “Grab your suitcase and get in the car, we’re running late.” Her heels clack on the wooden surface and she exits the house quickly, the door slamming hard behind her. It is probably unintentional, but I wince at the sound anyway.

I take a deep breath and turn around, grabbing my suitcase before rushing outside after her. I throw the luggage in the trunk and hop in the car beside her, my hand instinctively moving to the radio. I flip through the stations absentmindedly, stopping once I hear a song I recognize. My mom starts the car without a word and pulls out of the driveway quickly, stopping to let some kids around my age cross in front of us. A boy and girl, presumably siblings, walk quickly down the street, hunching over from the weight of their backpacks. One of them says something and the other lashes out at him, punching him on the shoulder and glaring. I can’t help but feel envy rise up in my stomach, burning and bubbling like boiling water. How I wish I could be joking and carefree, walking to school without a care in the world.

I shake my head. A week ago, that was me. A week ago I didn’t fear for my life, I didn’t need assistance to carry my own body or process things around me. A week ago I didn’t feel a crippling sense of insecurity in myself and my appearance. I didn’t let my parents arguments bother me too much. I didn’t read deep into everything my friends and teammates said. I didn’t let it affect me enough to make me shout. And I certainly didn’t let silence push me to tears. But I’ve learned that a single week can do a lot to a person.

Cancer is so weird. It seems like everything went downhill after I started treatment, when it should have been the opposite. Nothing felt quite serious until I found out. What would have happened if I never got diagnosed? If my mom never brought me to the doctor and just let me wait out my sickness? Would I be happier right now? Would I feel normal? It seems like regret is the only emotion I can feel and it pulses through me so hard my body crumples and my seatbelt is the only thing holding me upright.

My mom glances at me out of the corner of her eye, “Shouyo, honey. Are you okay?” Her voice is gentle but strained, and I know I did this to her. I’m the reason she sounds like she wants to cry.

A smile pushes onto my lips, masking the self-loathing and uncertainty that is plaguing me. “It’s nothing, mom.”

At these words, her tense body seems to soften a little and her lip quivers slightly. Her head whips over to me with desperation in her eye. “Yesterday-”

“It’s fine, mom. It was my fault.” Why am I telling her this when my chest still aches when I remember her words?

My mom brings her gaze back to the road but continues to speak, “Don’t say anything for a moment. I need to get this out.”

I nod at her and bring my clenched hands to my lap, forcing my tight muscles to unwind.

“What you said to me yesterday made me realize something. I told you that I was going to be here for you for this. And I don’t think I completely was. I don’t think I’m trying hard enough. Somehow I’ve managed to make this about me. The fact that you think last night was your fault, that you’re dismissing my actions, proves that I’ve made you worry about me during a time that you should only be worrying about yourself.”

I begin to protest, “Mom, I-”

“Shouyo. I have talked to your father, and although he still wants custody, he agreed that you should be living with me most of the time. If I present my case about his relationship with gambling, you might not have to live with him.”

I nod grimly at her, images of him leaned over the breakfast table, hung over flashing in my head.

“But back to my original point. I am not blaming you for any of this. I know I said yesterday that you are wasting my money, but you’re not. I said that in the heat of the moment and I didn’t mean it. I would spend all the money in the world if it meant keeping you healthy and safe. So never think you are burdening me with this. Okay?” She smiles weakly at me without taking her eyes off the road.

I almost want to cry, but instead I nod and train my eyes out the window. They remain there for the rest of the drive, glancing at unique houses, kids on their way to school, colorful posters on building-sides, all before the bright blue backdrop of the sky.

When we arrive, a nurse greets us with a smile and leads us into a small white room filled with medical machines. There are several chairs lined up against the wall and a bed with a reclining back in the middle of the machines. I’m guessing that’s where I’m supposed to go.

“You are going to have a while until your next treatment, so you can go to the food court or explore the hospital until then. Please steer clear of the sick ward; you’re especially susceptible to diseases right now.” The nurse’s voice is clipped and professional. I smile and nod at her and her professional demeanor shifts slightly. She smiles back at me. Before we can say anything else to her she leaves the room quickly.

My mom drops our bags on one of the plastic chairs and slumps down into another one, breath huffing out.

“So... What are we going to do?” I inquire.

My mom shrugs, contemplating. “Want to explore the gardens outside? I saw them from the car, they look so unique and exotic.” Her voice seems to increase in pitch as she speaks about the garden and I almost laugh. My mom has always been into gardening.

“Sure, let’s go!” I feel so light now that our fighting is done that I can’t help the extra bounce in my step.

We abandon our bags- although my mom brings a water bottle in case I get dizzy- and we head down the empty hallway in the general direction of the courtyard. When we arrive, I look around.

Although generally empty, there are a few people milling around, and patients are detectable by their gowns. A majority of the people out here are wearing them, and some sit on benches reading books while others sit on the ground and talk to each other. Some seem to be inspecting the plants, and my mom soon joins them, marvelling at a particular bright pink flower.

“We need this in our garden. Don’t you agree, Shouyo?” My mom’s enthusiastic voice carries through the whole courtyard and some people look up.

My response dies on my lips at the sight of a teenage boy hunched over a DS. He seems to be around my age and before I can think about the consequences I approach him eagerly.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I crouch down in front of him, hands on my knees. He doesn’t look up from his device and his bleached-blonde hair falls into his eyes.

“Playing a game.” the response is short but it doesn’t put me off.

“My name’s Hinata Shouyo, what’s yours?”

It takes him a second to respond, “Kozume Kenma.” he finally looks away from his device, his sharp eyes sweeping over me. They quickly return to the screen though.

“Cool! Is there anything interesting to do here?”

“No.”

“That sucks! How long have you been here?”

“2 years.”

At his soft reply, I gasp loudly. He hunches a little bit more over his DS, closing himself off to me.

“Hmm... where do you go to school?” it’s an awkward question, but it’s the only one I can think of on the spot.

His tongue rolls out to the corner of his mouth and his eyes narrow at the screen. He jabs at the buttons with his thumb, his entire body tensing, before answering, “I was supposed to go to Nekoma.”

“What year are you?” I kneel down beside him, making our heads level.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye, “I don’t go to school. I would be a second year.”

I nod at him, ignoring the tensing of his shoulders as he speaks, “That makes you my senpai. I’m a first year.” At the slow nod he gives me, I elaborate, “I was just admitted today. I won’t be in here for too long though. Just for the most intense part of my chemo.” He finally catches my eye and something like understanding passes between us.

“So... do you like volleyball?” I can’t help my voice from rising an octave at the mention.

His eyes flit to the ground. “It’s okay. I was on a team in middle school.”

I jump enthusiastically. “Wanna pass a ball?”

He nods slowly at me, looking apprehensive, and I grab his wrist and lead him inside.

“We just gotta get a ball from my room.” I see him nod and speed up, tightening my grasp on his wrist as I pull him along.

His quiet voice brings me to a halt, “Can you walk slower? I’m... I can’t...” I turn around to see him panting heavily, hands on his knees.

“Sorry!” I cry.

He shakes his head, expression blank as his breath rushes in and out quickly.

I grab his wrist again but slow down my pace, a little guilt creeping into my gut. It doesn’t stay there for long, though, because we head outside to the front of the hospital, volleyball in hand. Kenma backs up a bit after we arrive in a grassy patch and lowers into a receiving stance. I throw the ball towards him and he bumps it back to me. It lands in the exact place my arms need to be to receive it and my eyes widen a bit. I pass back to him and he expertly brings the ball right back to my arms, as if they are a magnet for the ball.

“Whoa! You’re really good at this! You hit the ball like BOOM and it comes right here like ZOOM!” I wave my arms around, letting the ball roll to the ground as it comes towards me.

He tentatively meets my eyes, then nods, hair falling into his face again.

“I’m from Karasuno. My teammates are coming later, maybe we can play together!” He doesn’t respond, instead jogging forward to retrieve the ball.

“What position did you play?” I can’t help the flurry of words escaping my mouth, I’m too excited I found someone with common interests at the hospital. Maybe my time here won’t be so bad after all.

“I was setter.” His soft voice sounds a little distant, as if he is remembering fun times.

“Oh cool! I’m middle blocker, but I want to be ace! Me and one of my stupid teammates- Kageyama- do this super cool quick that’s like KABOOM and the crowd always goes HAHH when we score,” I lower my eyes, blushing a little, “I’m really short though... do you think it’s weird?”

He shakes his head. “No. I got told similar stuff during games, too, so I don’t think body type is what matters. It’s how you play.” He speaks slowly, tasting each word as it rolls of his tongue.

I am about to respond when I hear a deep voice. “Kenma. What are you doing? You have to be back in your room soon.” I look up to see a large, black haired teenager with a bedhead. Kenma lowers his head and nods, throwing me the ball and walking over to him slowly. I notice that Kenma’s hospital gown makes him look even more frail than he already is. It hangs off his body loosely, giving the impression of being emaciated when in reality there is a little muscle on his lean body.

I shake my head, following the couple inside and turning down the hallway that leads to the courtyard. I run into my mom in the hallway and she lets out a big breath when she sees me.

“There you are! Where did you run off to? I was starting to get worried.” She puts a hand to her chest, sliding her eyes closed.

I laugh, “Sorry, mom. I was playing volleyball with another guy who lives here.”

Her eyes skim over my appearance, and her brow creases, “You need to be careful about putting a strain on your body without supervision. What would have happened if you were to collapse?” I am surprised at her stern tone.

“It’s okay, mom, we were just passing the ball back and forth.” She simply shakes her head at me and we walk back to my hospital room.

“Your doctor should be in here soon, he was going to give us some information.”

I nod at her and plop down onto the hospital bed, legs hanging over the side.

Not a moment after my mom speaks a doctor pokes his head in, and when he sees us he smiles.

“You must be Hinata Shouyo?”

I nod at him, flashing a smile.

“If my papers are correct, you have had 2 infusions so far, and your body has had some rather intense reactions?”

I wince and nod again.

He smiles sympathetically at me. “Being in the hospital is not going to make those side-effects go away, but we will have the resources to help ease the pain a bit more. And your friends and family can visit you any time during visiting hours.” His eyes travel around the room, and his eyebrows raise quickly, “Oh! And you don’t have to worry about those machines. You won’t be hooked up to those unless your condition worsens dramatically. Which is unlikely!” he quickly adds.

“Is there overnight daycare?” my mom jumps in. “For my daughter, of course.”

The doctor nods at her, smiling, “Yep. It’s open 24 hours.” He directs his gaze to me. “I’m going to need you to change into this.” He holds up a gown and I scowl at him. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. I can give you the type that you can tie closed in the back.” my scowl deepens and he holds up his hands in mock submission.

He hands me the fabric and I reluctantly take it from him. The doctor guides my mom out of the room, leaving me to change into the thin gown. I see the doctor talking quietly to mom, to which she nods seriously and when I call for them to come back in they sterilize their hands with sanitizer before entering the room.

“You are going to have to be careful from now on, Hinata. Your mom told me you went outside to play volleyball- which is great- but in a week or so your immune system is going to be substantially weaker, which means that you can’t go wherever you want to go. You’re going to be able to get sick just from being exposed to germs, and your body won’t be able to fight off the bacteria. So please ask for permission before doing this type of stuff, okay?” I nod, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“Are you ready for your next infusion?” the doctor asks brightly.

I speak quietly, because no, I’m not ready, I’ll never be ready. “Yeah.”

I lay down in the hospital bed, which he pulls up to a sitting position at my request and inserts the IV. I brought my backpack so I could get stuff done while I was stuck in bed, which I am immediately grateful for as I dive into some textbook reading.

Somewhere along the way I doze off- again- and only wake up when I hear my mom’s soothing voice. I don’t open my eyes.

Her voice is extremely soft, and she appears to be talking to herself, “Shouyo, honey. Please be okay. You have to survive this. The doctor couldn’t have been serious. You will survive this. What will I have to live for if you don’t?”

My breath catches as I listen to her quiet utterings. It’s too late to announce I’m awake now, so I just listen to my mom as she mutters broken phrases over my still body. I almost think she’s crying at one point, but I don’t open my eyes to check. Soon I hear a chair scrape against the floor and footsteps loud, by my ear, and then fading as they approach the door to my room. When the door clicks shut my eyes fly open.

What.

My mom was talking like the doctor told her something bad. That he didn’t tell me.

I glance down at my wrist, surprised to see that the IV is already gone. I bring it up to my eyes, frowning at the sight of bruising. The frown leaves as my body hunches over in nausea.

  
  


The days seem to pass by quickly. My mom brings me homework from the school for me to complete, I get another infusion. I get up sometimes to use the bathroom and brush my teeth, but I don’t look in the mirror; I don’t want to see me. I rarely leave my room. I haven’t seen Kozume Kenma since my first day here. This monotonous lifestyle is rarely interrupted, needles and vomiting, needles and dizziness, needles and work, needles and more needles to take away the effect of the needles preceding. Needles.

Sometimes Natsu comes up to my room to keep me company, but she seems to be scared of me- Of my paleness, tiredness, or maybe my sadness. I haven’t seen my friends since I got admitted, and I can feel myself sinking into a pit of loneliness. A few instances at the hospital stick out like a sore thumb. Take today, for example.

  
  


I don’t know what drives me to do it, maybe a desire I have been feeling since yesterday’s infusion. I want to be able to do something on my own. I have been in here for almost a week and haven’t been out of bed in 3 days. Today’s infusion is not till later, according to the doctor, and when my mom leaves the room, I take my chance.

First, I make sure the strings on my gown are secure. I don’t want to flash any unsuspecting hospital visitors. Next, I make sure the coast is clear. I twist around on my bed until my bare feet are hanging close to the ground. I push off the cot, and when my feet hit the ground it takes me a moment to steady myself. The room spins around me, but not for more than a few seconds, which I take as a good thing. I pad across the room, nerves eating at my stomach. After double checking, I walk quickly down the hallway, trying to remember the route I took the first day I arrived.

I sigh in relief when I see the courtyard. It is rather empty as it was when I first came, a few thin patients ambling around. My eyes scan the garden and I gasp in surprise and glee when they fall on dyed hair. I scamper over- well, I try to scamper over, only to gasp as my knees give out on me and I fall to the ground.

At a rather loud yelp that I am ashamed came out of me, all heads in the courtyard turn towards me and I see Kenma push himself off the bench to walk towards me. I attempt to push myself up, my arms shaking, but to no avail. I slump in resignation, huffing out a frustrated breath.

“Are you okay? Do you need me to call a doctor?” Kenma’s soft voice pulls my head up. I feel warmth on my cheeks, but he just looks concerned.

I shake my head quickly, “No, but can you help me up?”

Kenma nods, offering me his hand and with a grunt I am back on my feet.

“You should probably sit down, you don’t look too good.” He means no harm by his comment, but I can’t help but feel self-conscious. I let him lead me to a bench, wincing as the wooden bars dig into my butt and back.

“Are you allowed to be out here? I heard that cancer patients are supposed to be under lock and key...” He is eyeing me skeptically.

I choose not to answer him. “I haven’t been out of my room since I arrived here, it’s nice to finally have some fresh air...” I sigh and lean back against the bench.

I brighten when I think of something, “Hey, do you have cellphone? When I’m stuck in my room we can text!” he nods and pulls out the device, and I push my number into the phone.

“Yay!” I clap my hands together.

He gives me a small smile.

“Hmm, I should probably get back to my room before anyone important notices I’m missing...”

Kenma’s eyes widen and he glares at me, “I knew you weren’t supposed to be out here...” His voice is quiet despite the accusing nature of his words.

I test my weight on my legs while still sitting down, and sigh when they begin to shake in protest.

“Oi, Kenma, do you think you could help me? I’m not sure if I can make it all the way back to my room by myself...” A dark blush spreads on my cheeks as I speak.

He shakes his head at me, as if judging, and gets to his feet. I walk beside him, and at some point we have to stop for me to lean against the wall and get my breath back, waiting for the dizziness to subside.

I am panting heavily anyway by the time we arrive back at my room, and I smile apologetically at him. He just shakes his head, standing by my door frame until I climb back into bed. He glances down the hall for a moment and then turns back toward me.

“Your mom’s coming. Good timing.”

He promptly leaves.

And at that moment it hits me. I can’t walk by myself anymore. No tears come out of my eyes, just a crippling sense of despair shoots through my body, making my toes tingle and my ears ring.

  
  


It’s on my last day at the hospital that everyone visits. It is a complete surprise and when Suga pops his head in I gasp in excitement. Everybody sanitizes their hands before they step in one after the other- Suga, Daichi, Noya, Tanaka, Asahi, Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, Ennoshita, Kageyama, Takeda, Ukai, and finally my mom. All these people can barely fit in the room but they squeeze in and I am nearly bouncing out of my bed in joy. I get my mom to lift the bed into a sitting position and for the first time in the week I’ve been here, I am happy.

“It’s been a while, Hinata!” Suga smiles warmly at me and I return it.

Some of the others are shuffling awkwardly, not meeting my eyes.

After a brief, uncomfortable silence, Suga speaks again, “We brought you something!” I gasp in excitement.

“Show me, show me, show me!” I lean forward quickly, ignoring the fact that I was retching just 10 minutes ago.

Takeda pulls out a huge card the size of my body, filled with small writing.

“Somehow the entire school caught wind of your illness. So we took it upon ourselves to get a note from all of the students!” Takeda smile and hands it to me.

Hey Hinata,

I know I made fun of you for your height the other day,

but I hope you feel better. Maybe this treatment will

make you grow a few inches taller. :P

-Aki (HONTO YAJUU F YEAH)

 

HEY YOU,

You need to get back to school so we can make fun

of Mr. Hitoshi again! What are you doing getting

sick during presentation week?

ILYSM

-Ayako

 

I skim through the messages with tears budding in my eyes. I was feeling all alone in this hospital, and yet there were so many people thinking of me when I didn’t even realize it. I can feel something in me lighten. I place it on the floor leaned up against my bed, making a mental note to read the rest of the messages when the team has left.

“Thank you guys so much!” The team ignores the raw emotion in my voice, to my relief, smiling and nodding.

It doesn’t go unnoticed how uncharacteristically quiet some of the team is, but I choose not to confront them. Noya is plopped on one of the guest chairs, kicking his feet out in front of him and staring at the ground.

“How’s the hospital food here, anyway?” Tsukishima’s lazy voice drawls out.

I stick my tongue out in disgust. “It’s gross. Don’t eat it.”

Suga laughs, and Daichi speaks up, “Maybe we can bring you some Subway if your doctor allows it.” My eyes widen and tears bud in my eyes once more.

“You would be my heroes. I would love you forever!” I cry.

Daichi waves his arms out in front of him. “Hey, hey! No promises yet!”

My phone buzzes with an incoming text. I glance down at it and my eyes widen.

“I almost forgot to tell you guys! I met this guy here from Nekoma who plays volleyball! I want him to play with us sometime!”

The team glances away from me, and I can feel dread creep into my gut.

“What is it?”

Nishinoya speaks up, his face pinched. “Do you really think you’re well enough to be playing volleyball right now?” I gasp. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you think that that’s a good idea. You are in the hospital. Focus on getting better, than maybe we’ll think about letting you on the court.” he ends his rant in almost a yell, and I flinch, biting my lip.

“Noya!” Suga scolds, “Leave the room if you are here to yell at Hinata. None of this is his fault, don’t you dare act like it is.”

Noya pushes up from his chair, muttering to himself and slamming the door closed behind him.

I shrink back into my bed at the sound, still chewing at my lower lip.

A silence falls over the room, and I pull my blankets up over my shoulders.

Asahi’s tentative voice brings me out of my gloom, “Look, don’t worry about him. He’s kind of in shock right now. We all are. Just give us some time, okay?”

I don’t respond.

A few minutes later, the team reluctantly leaves, seeing that I am in no mood to talk anymore, and Kageyama and the coaches are the only ones remaining.

“How are you feeling?” Takeda’s voice is gentle.

“I’m okay.”

Ukai jumps in, “We’ll try to get you some of that Subway, alright? And don’t worry about what Nishinoya said. You’ll be back on the court in no time.” He grins at me.

I manage a weak smile back. “My friend, Kenma, has been stuck in the hospital for 2 years and hasn’t played volleyball since. I guess Noya-senpai’s words just hit a little too close to home.”

Ukai and Takeda’s faces darken for a millisecond, but it goes away and they say their goodbyes and exit the room. Leaving me with Kageyama.

“You’re leaving today, right?” He asks me.

I nod in response, stretching my arms out and yawning. “Yep.”

At that moment my mom walks in, calling out to me, “I finally got the hospital personnel to get a wheelchair for you!” She halts when she sees Kageyama in the room with me.

“Hi, Mrs. Hinata,” he addresses her weakly; I’m sure he’s remembering the argument from a week ago.

“Hi there, Kageyama. How are you?” Her eyes flit over to me, a silent apology for giving away my weakness. I had already told her I didn’t want the team to know about the wheelchair that I needed.

“I’m good, thanks.” His eyes are on the floor.

“Well, Shouyo, lemme get this over to you.” Mom exits the room and returns with the black wheelchair.

I grimace looking at it but prepare to get out of bed and I step onto the cold tile before plopping down quickly into the chair.

“So I just put my feet here... and my arms here...” I mumble, getting myself situated.

“I told you this wasn’t a big deal, Shouyo!” My mom defends.

I look up at her. “Yeah, yeah, it’s just embarrassing!”

My mom shakes her head, looking a little amused. “You’re in a hospital, Shouyo, half the people here are in wheelchairs.”

My mom pushes me through the building, Kageyama walking beside us, and I can’t help but smile as we exit and the fresh air sweeps my hair back, rushing across my face in a cool stream. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate making Noya a jerk because he's my fave but it had to be done. Sorry.  
> The next chapter is not going to be this long, but expect a Saturday update. This is your last Wednesday update :(  
> On another note, please consider following my tumblr.. I am deleting my fanfiction tumblr but you can follow me and send me asks @ haikiuyu.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> Quick shoutout to shadowlink5 and kadinbear from fanfiction.net for betaing this for me.
> 
> Please comment!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mother-son bonding in a wig shop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been loaded down with schoolwork this week, but I somehow managed to get this done. Thanks to Shadowlink5, UntrustedWithScissors, and Kadinbear from fanfiction.net for betaing this chapter.

“Let’s go play!” cries Natsu, throwing up her arms with a cry. She scampers through the front door and my mom pushes me in behind her. The sweet scent of home washes over me and I inhale deeply, a smile pushing onto my face.

Turning to Natsu, I let out a small amused breath. “Maybe in a little bit, okay? I need to get settled back in here.” She pouts but doesn’t argue, turning away to toddle into her room.

“How are you feeling, Shouyo?” My mom’s gentle voice brings my attention away from her receding form.

I shrug, a chuckle falling from my lips. “I mean, I could be better, but it’s nice to be back home.”

My mom smiles and nods at me. “The most intense part is over. And you can go back to school tomorrow if you are feeling up to it!” I perk up at this.

“Do you think I’ll be able to walk by tomorrow?” I ask, my brow creasing.

My mom huffs out a sigh. “I’m really not sure. The doctor said it’s really up to you personally, and we’ll have to see tomorrow.” She plops the bags hanging over her shoulders onto the ground and unzips one of them, shuffling through to pull out some papers.

“I have to get some work done. Do you think you can manage unpacking on your own?”

I nod at her. I had already tried pushing my own wheelchair in the hospital parking lot, and although I am not exactly proficient at it, I can move enough to function. I struggle to turn myself around as my mom heads into her office, and pull one of the bags into my lap with a little bit of effort. The other bags will have to wait for another trip as I can’t carry all this weight in one go.

I wheel across the hallway, for once appreciative of the seamless floors that make getting from room to room easier. I soon arrive in my bedroom and push the bag off of my lap onto the floor, letting it sink down with a thud. I make the rest of the trips, depositing the different bags into their respective rooms. I return to my own room, breathing in the sweet, comforting scent of home. The last traces of anxiety are pushed to the back of my mind, for now.

“Shouyou, I am getting on a business call in a few minutes, so only call me if you have an emergency!” My mother shouts across the house. I yell back an affirmative and wheel across the carpeted room (which takes more effort than wood floors) to lay my suitcase on its side and unzip it, leaning at an awkward angle. It takes time and effort, but soon all my things are back in my drawers and I lean back in my chair, slightly winded.

I fish my laptop out of my drawer and open it up, grinning in anticipation. I wasn’t allowed to bring my laptop to the hospital, so I have a lot to catch up on. I open up Tumblr and scroll through my dash quickly, stroking the mousepad swiftly as I open a new tab to browse the web. An advertisement on the corner of one website catches my eye.

Before I know it, I hear a voice calling from somewhere in the house, “Children, dinner is ready! Come in right now!”  

“Coming!” I call back, mostly to appease her. I shut my laptop with a sigh, tossing it onto my bed and rolling towards the kitchen. I hear Natsu’s footsteps behind me and I try to pick up my speed so she won’t complain.

My mom has a phone pressed up to her ear with her shoulder while she stirs a pot of mac n’ cheese and sets plates on the counter by the stove.

“Sorry, you’re on your own tonight for dinner.” She returns back to her phone conversations, shutting off the stove and walking quickly out of the room in the direction of her office. I scrunch my face. This is a first.

I sigh, then shrug and spoon out mac n’ cheese for Natsu. She eagerly grabs the plate from me and digs in. I roll over, pushing a chair aside to sit next to her. She kicks her legs against the bottom of the table, making the silverware clang against the dishes.

“Jeez, stop Natsu!” I scold, sticking my leg out to the side to stop her kicks. She glares at me but says nothing, continuing to shovel food into her mouth. I soon follow suit, eating so fast I can’t taste what I’m eating. The long week I endured hospital food is over and I almost feel like crying for joy.

We finish our meals and wash the dishes together to lighten Mom’s burden since she seems so busy from work. When I’m back in my room I try to stand up again and I am pleased to find that I can do it with only the slightest shaking in my legs. I grab a towel off of my doorknob and head down the hallway towards the bathroom with wobbly knees. I turn the water on before I strip. I’m not exactly sure why; maybe to stall before I have to see my naked body.

I strip my clothes, avoiding the mirror but can’t help but see the bruises on my leg where Natsu gently kicked it during dinner. There are similar, light little bruises littering my entire body, most of which I can’t remember their origin. I finally force my gaze to the mirror, and gasp out loud at a bald patch near the cowlick at the top of my head. I quickly brush orange hair over the bald patch until I am satisfied. I can properly hide the hairless sections for now, but my stomach churns imagining what I will look like in a few weeks. A blush creeps onto my cheeks at the very thought. I finally pull away from my tired face in the mirror and climb into the warm shower. I want to relax into the gentle fall of water on my back, but I can’t stop thinking about my hair. It nags at my mind like a fire needing to be tamed.

* * *

 

When my shower is finished, I slowly approach my mom in her office, twiddling my thumbs and breathing slowly, in out, in out. She hangs up the phone and turns to face me, and I can’t help but notice dark circles under her eyes. I ignore it for now.

“Hey, mom?” my voice is soft and hesitant, and eyes immediately widen as she scans me.

“Nothing’s wrong, mom. No worries.” I assure her. “It’s just... my hair.”

Recognition sets in her eyes and she gestures for me to come over. I slowly walk over, squeezing into the side of her desk chair next to her. Her hands brush through my hair out of habit, only coming to a stop when I knock them away in shame.

“Honey... you knew it was going to happen,” Her voice is gentle.

I bite my lip. “Still... I kinda liked my hair, y’know?” A soft arm wraps around my shoulders, squeezing comfortingly.

“Is there anything I can do to help you?”

I reluctantly nod, and she raises an eyebrow. “What is it?”

“W-well, we don’t have to if it’s too much money. I’ve heard they’re expensive... But I would feel a lot better if I could get a wig.” My voice tapers down to a whisper towards the end and my cheeks burn.

I feel her nod against my head. “We can do that, Shouyou. Don’t worry about the money. That’s my problem, not yours.”

“But aren’t we tight already?” I force out.

“Why do you think that?” She asked puzzled.

My nails dig into my palms and I force myself to unclench them. “You’re so busy with work you can’t even have a family dinner. I’m not that stupid, mom.”

She sighs and her grip on me loosens slightly. “It is a bit tight right now,” she admits. “But you don’t need to worry about it. Just focus on getting better and being as comfortable as possible in your body. When I was your age, if I was losing my hair, I would be heartbroken.”

Her hands wander up to my hair again, stroking soothingly like she always did when I was little, and I force myself to let her.

“You’re handling this really well, Shouyou. It may be hard to believe, but you’re doing way better than I thought you would. I’m proud of you.” I feel tears well in my eyes but I ignore them, focusing on her soft voice.

I finally force myself to get out what I have been wanting to since I came in here. “Mom, I was looking online earlier. And I think I found the wig I want.”

“Do you want to show me?” She sounds so casual, like we aren’t looking for somebody elses hair to put on my head that I wouldn’t need if I wasn’t suffering from a possibly-fatal illness.

I nod and she pulls her laptop into our laps. I watch as she opens up a new tab and relinquishes the controls to me. I navigate to the website and pull up the wig I found, biting my lip as I watch her reaction.

Her eyebrows raise a bit. “You weren’t joking about the prices.”

“I know, I’m sorry, there were some chea-”

She cuts me off. “That doesn’t mean we’re not buying it, honey.” She smiles a little at my brightening expression.

“This wig looks a bit longer than your natural hair, are you sure you want to go with it?”

I shake my head. “I read that you can have them cut to look like your old hair. So maybe we should take a picture of it before it all falls out?” There is a bitter bite to my voice that I can’t hold back.

She nods, lifting herself up from the chair and placing the laptop on the table. “Let me get my camera. You can stay there.”

She leaves the room and I hear some clanging and banging, and a few moments later she returns with a dusty camera in hand.

“Say cheese!” She smiles out of habit and I can’t help but flash a cheeky grin, holding a peace sign in front of my face.

She squints into the small screen. “Looks good.”

It’s at that moment that I have an overwhelming urge to thank her. I push off of her chair and rush towards her in a flurry of awkward, lumbering limbs and wrap her in a tight hug.

I mumble into her chest. “Thanks, mom.”

She only laughs, brushing her fingers through my hair softly and hugging me back.

 

* * *

 

After researching and scrolling through the wig website for several hours, we decide that buying from the store is the best way to go. That way, we won’t have to worry about it not fitting or coming in the wrong color, or not coming at all.

“Are we there yet?” I whine, bouncing up and down in my seat.

“Actually, I think this is it...” she hums, pulling the car into a free spot.

And suddenly I feel nervous. I take a deep breath in blow it out slowly, only to be stopped by a gentle hand on my shoulder.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, okay Shouyou? The people here deal with bald customers every day. They aren’t going to be awkward around you, so you don’t have to be awkward around them either. And I’ll be there the entire time.” I smile up at her, a warm, loved feeling heating up my chest.

“Thanks.”

We climb out of the car (I am no longer in a wheelchair) and approach a quaint little building with manequinn heads lined up in the front window. A bell rings when we step inside and a small woman who seems to be in her twenties comes scampering to the front of the shop.

“Welcome!” she yells enthusiastically.

Me and my mom both jump back at her loudness, but the homey feel of the shop keeps us from being intimidated. The floors are carpeted and shelves lining the walls are filled with plastic heads. A shiver runs down my spine.

“Hi. We saw a wig on the website that we were hoping to buy.” My mom says politely, eyeing the worker in apprehension of another outburst.

“Oh, yes, of course! Do you know the wig name or number?”

My mom begins to talk to the lady as she types into her computer, and I wander away from them to look at the assortment of wigs. They have everything from curled old lady wigs to teased and layered pink hair. On the corner of a shelf a strip of short hair catches my eye and I trot over to it, peering down curiously. It’s a bit shorter than a foot long and a plastic strip hold little short strands running perpendicular to the material.

“Oh, are you looking at the bangs? We’re having a sale on those today, actually.” A voice behind me comments.

I make a noise of understanding. “So that’s what this is...” I hold it up so it runs across my forehead, turning to examine myself in the mirror. I don’t think it looks very convincing.

“How much?” My mom asks.

“I’ll have to ask my manager.” She admits.

I shake my head at my mom. “You don’t have to buy me two things.”

She ignores this, instead beckoning for me to walk closer. “We have the wig you were interested in. In person, it looks really similar to your natural hair!” She has a smile on her face, and I can’t help but smile too.

“So how do I put this on?” I inquire, scrutinizing the orange ball of hair in the lady’s hand.

She pulls out a piece of elasticky-looking fabric. “This is a wig cap. It’s going to keep the wig from slipping. It’s especially helpful once you lose all your hair, since your scalp can be slippery.”

She pulls it onto my head, covering up my locks and asks me to repeat what she did. After I successfully put on the wig cap by myself she pulls the wig over my head, front to back. She shakes it a bit, making my head wag from side to side. “It seems to fit pretty well...” she mutters to herself.

“Do you play any sports or do any physical activities?” She finally adresses me after a long time of tugging at sections of the wig and adjusting it on my head. I nod. “We have a few methods to prevent it from slipping off.” She begins to rattle off different products and the one she recommends.

A thought pops into my head. “Do you wear a wig?” She stares at me oddly for a second replying.

“No. I got into wigs because of my sister. We used to be obsessed with styling wigs for cosplay and stuff, and our passion only grew after she had to start chemotherapy. She had a different wig to wear for each day of the week!” She laughs at the memory, her eyes crinkling.

“Where is she?” I can’t help but ask.

Her face softens a bit, before she looks back down at me. “She died of brain cancer three years ago.”

I knew it.

“I’m sorry...” My mom almost whispers.

The lady shakes her head. “She died happy.”

“So... how do those bangs work?” I finally ask.

“Oh!” She smiles before running to the front desk to grab a hat. “You wear them with hats for days when you don’t feel like wearing a wig.” She explains. I nod slowly, not understanding. “Let me show you.”

She pries the wig off of my head but leaves the wig cap on, and places the strip of blonde hair across my hairline. Then she places an ugly hat on my head. The effect is breathtaking. It looks like I just have my hair tucked into my hat in the back, and the bangs look real.

“It’s weird seeing you with blonde hair.” Mother muses.

I giggle. “Especially since my eyebrows are orange!”

The clerk laughs and I take off the hat. She pulls off the wig and wig cap and I zoom over to the mirror to brush my hair back over the thin spots.

When I am done readjusting, I follow the women up to the front of the store.

“Do you want some bangs? I can call my manager up real quick and ask their price.” She offers.

My mom glances down at me and nods. I gape. She holds a finger to her lips before I can protest.

I glance around the store as the clerk dials a number and begins to talk. Just then the bell at the front of the store rings and a haggard-looking woman with two toddlers walks into the story.

“I’ll be right with you!” The clerk chirps.

After another moment she hangs up the phone and turns to us. “You’ll be getting that free today!”

It’s my mom’s turn to gape, but then she says a quick thank you and places the clerk’s recommended materials onto the table for her to ring up. I avert my eyes from the price.

“Let me run back and see if there are any curly orange bangs, alright?” We nod and she leaves for the employees room in a flurry.

“She’s energetic,” Mom comments. “Almost as energetic as you!”

I scowl at her but it doesn’t last long when the lady comes back with a strip of orange hair that resembles my own.

“Are you going to wear your wig right away?” She asks me.

I ponder for a moment. “No, it’s not really necessary. I can just brush my hair over bald spots for now until more falls out...” I let my voice fade out.

She nods at me and places everything in a bag. “Well here you are. Thanks for buying from us, and please come again!”

We turn and exit, and I desperately try to keep the pleased smile off of my face to no avail.

My mom’s voice nags in my ear. “I told you there was no reason to get nervous!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never worn a wig, so let me know if I got that wrong? Or anything else? Please comment, it encourages me to write faster, and I hope you enjoyed! ^_^


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teachers suck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, chapter 17 is FINALLY here. It seems like it's been forever since an update when in reality it's only been a week. It's so odd. Enjoy!

“Have a good day!” Mom calls to me from the breakfast table.

I call out an enthusiastic goodbye and sling my backpack over my back, forcing my knees not to buckle at the weight. I rush through the front door and smile as the sun brushes over my face, the wind tousling my hair. I take a deep breath in and let it out. The smell of an incoming storm and garden flowers flavor the air. I decide to walk to school today and I start a steady pace as I trek down the country roadside. Everything seems to be still, only interrupted by the occasional chirp of a bird or light gust of wind. I ignore my short, gasping puffs of breath, only moving faster and nearly jump in fright when I see Kageyama leaning against a fence. I almost forgot this is where we always meet.

“Hey Kageyama!” I call out a greeting.

He nods at me, waiting till I approach him to speak.

“How are you feeling?” I stifle a giggle. Two weeks ago he never would have acted concerned for my health.

He glares at my reaction and I raise my hands in mock submission. “I’m feeling okay.”

He raises an eyebrow in suspicion but says nothing. I am telling the truth, though. I haven’t felt this good since I was diagnosed and I want to bask in the feeling while it lasts.

We walk in silence as the sun rises, and when we approach the school gates the team is waiting there. My eyes widen in surprise.

“Welcome back, Hinata!” The enthusiastic shout from the team makes me blush, and I rub the back of my neck, bashful.

“Thanks, guys.” I can’t help the small smile that forms on my lips.

The team is for the most part grinning, with the exceptions of Tsukishima and a sulky Nishinoya.

“I-I brought you a cake my mother made...” Asahi’s shy voice calls out.

I gasp in delight and cradle the plastic tupperware container he hands me in my arms. “Tell your mother she is an angel.” I croon. He blushes and laughs, then nods.

I see Kageyama roll his eyes and elbow him in playful anger. He only huffs out an exasperated sigh.

“Goddamn knuckle-head.”

“Shut up, Bakageyama.”

Suga cuts in before our fight can escalate. “So as you know, basically the entire school knows about your... sickness. Not sure exactly how that happened, but don’t be surprised, alright?” He smiles gently at me.

I nod, returning the smile. “It’s alright. I know.”

We all head in to the gym where Ukai is sitting, tapping his foot impatiently. “Where were you guys?” He snaps.

An exaggerated sight falls from Tanaka’s lips. “We were greeting Hinata! Aren’t we allowed a little fun?”

“Get changed. Now.” Ukai grits out.

The team nods and quickly flees to the changing room. I don’t. I fall onto a seat next to Ukai.

“Not allowed to play?” He observes.

“Wasn’t even walking until yesterday. Don’t think it’s a good idea, even by my standards.” I admit, flashing him a grin.

I can see sympathy in his eyes. Ugh. “You’ll be back on the court in no time.”

“I know.”

In all honesty, I’m not too upset about not being able to play. Just the fact that I am at school right now, breathing in the scent of Air Salonpas and the distinct woody smell of the gym is good enough for me. The team files into the room and they begin warm ups. I savor the squeak of shoes on wood and the occasional rustling of the net when a ball swings a bit too low. The sound of low barks ‘Nice’, ‘Over here’, ‘Try again’ echo around the gym. I couldn’t be happier.

Eventually I pull out my phone to text Kenma when the team’s exercises get too repetitive for me. When the bell rings, I follow my teammates to the school building for our first classes. We all eventually split off from each other until it is just me, Tsukishima and Yamaguchi walking towards our classroom. It’s always been a bit awkward sharing classes with them, but I am determined to not be provoked by Tsukishima, and he hasn’t made any attempts to do so since the beginning of the day.

I settle into my desk, gathering my materials for the class. The pesky teacher’s class is first, and when he walks in the room his eyes hone in on me immediately. I see a dark, angry glimmer flash in them that disappears so soon I pass it off as my imagination. A few of my friends enter the classroom and I rip my gaze away from the teacher to greet them.

“Hey guys!” I shout.

“Hinata is back!” one of them shouts, and soon half the classroom is crowded around my desk.

I am barraged with flurries of questions ranging from ‘How are you feeling?’ to ‘Did you have to poop in a tray?’. I ignore that one, but the blush on my cheeks answers them silently.

“I’m doing okay, thanks.”

“How was the food?”

“Disgusting”

“What were you doing in there anyways?”

“...Treating my cancer?”

A stern voice cuts off the stream of questions. “Get back in your seats. The bell already rang.”

All the student scurry back to their desks, but they don’t stop mouthing questions to me as the teacher drones on about plans for the week. A sharp glare from said teacher cuts me off in the middle of a mouthed response.

“Hinata Shouyou, would you be as eager to tell the class about your grades as you are about your health?” There is something mocking and patronizing in his tone that makes my blood boil, but I don’t argue.

“Sorry.” My response  is short and not very apologetic at all.

“Now are you ready for me to start teaching, or would you like me to assign you a presentation on cancer for you to show the class?” He scolds me.

“Sorry!” I say, stronger this time.

“Are you really though? You seem to rather proud of this illness. Shouldn’t you be ashamed of it? Why are you talking about it like it’s a feat?” There is a new mean bite to his voice that makes me widen my eyes. Is he allowed to say that to me?

“I said I’m sorry. You can start class now!” The other kids are eyeing me sympathetically, knowing what it’s like to be on the receiving end of his outbursts.

He continues, ignoring my words. “You seem to have to say sorry a lot in my class. Are you really sorry? You don’t seem to be changing your behavior. You constantly fall asleep in my class, and then I am told by your mom not to scold you for it. To let you fall asleep in my class. Do you understand how disrespectful that is?” He stalks over to my desk as my eyes widen further. “You can’t use cancer as an excuse for everything.”

I feel a lump form in my throat, more from anger than hurt. I know my classmates take my side; we all hate this teacher. But he has never taken his public humiliation this far.

“Why don’t you just start the lesson? You’re wasting our time now, not the shrimp.” We both whip around to confirm that, yes, Tsukishima DID just defend me.

“Excuse me?”

Yamaguchi joins in. “At this point you aren’t scolding him, you’re bullying him. And you’ll just yell at him more if he defends himself. You’re backing him into a corner. A teacher should be more mature than that.”

The teacher splutters for a few moments at a loss for words before rushing back to the front of the classroom, face red with anger. I’m sure it’s not as red as mine.

I catch Tsukishima’s eye and he just gives me a bored shake of the head before breaking eye contact.

My hands clench and unclench in my lap as he opens up today’s notes.

“Hinata Shouyou, detention is after school today in my room. Make sure you show up.”

I bite my lip before responding. “I have a doctor’s appointment after school today.” My face burns in shame. I am doing the exact thing he was shaming me for, using cancer as an excuse, as valid as the excuse may be.

Just as I predicted, he barks out a laugh in disbelief. “Wow. Okay, how about you email me a copy of your schedule so we can choose the next seven days you will be available for detention.” He says sarcastically.

My hands clench tighter, nails biting palms, and try to will away the bitter words poised to spew out of my mouth. And then I decide I’ve had enough. I shoot up out of my seat, ignoring the blood that rushes to my head and throw my backpack over one shoulder before storming out of the room.

I hear his voice call after me. “You’ll get a month if you walk out right now!”

I ignore it, focused on getting as far away as possible from that classroom. That is until I register that there are spots in my vision and the floor is swaying. I am halfway down the hallway when my knees buckle and I collapse to the floor, all my senses crashing in on me at once. Note to self- stand up slowly and refrain from storming out of classrooms.

My fall must have been a loud one, because I hear the pattering of footsteps coming toward me and I see a thin figure kneel beside me. I strain to look up and see a concerned, freckled face leaning close to me.

“Yamaguchi?” I croak.

Hands squeeze onto my shoulders, tightening as he speaks. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

“Help me up, please?” There is still a ringing in my ears but it is steadily fading and I feel confident that I won’t puke all over my teammate.

He hoists me up against a locker and I sigh as the cool metal soothes my skin.

“Do you need medicine or the school nurse or something?” His voice is tight with worry, his eyes flashing with concern.

I shake my head. “No. Just this is fine, thanks though.” I pull up my knees and let my head rest against them, breathing slowly while I try to regain my senses.

“We can talk to someone about that teacher, you know. What he just did can’t be allowed...” He turns around and my gaze follows up to where he looks. My eyes widen in surprise to see Tsukishima standing behind him. Not that it’s too surprising that he’s here, just that it took me so long to notice.

“It’s okay. I’ll just try to not get his attention too much anymore. I’m not the only one he’s done this to, I’m  no different than any of the other kids he’s embarrassed.” I insist.

“But you’re...” He hesitates.

My eyes bore into his and he flinches back. “I’m what?”

He struggles with his words for a few seconds before Tsukishima stops him. “Just shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Sorry, Tsukki.”

Yamaguchi opens his mouth a few times, as if searching for what to say. “I... I just want you to know that if you ever need help with... studies, or annoying kids, or... I don’t know... just don’t hesitate to come to us.” He is blushing by the end, staring at his shoes as he speaks, and I smile.

“Speak for yourself.” Tsukishima mutters, but his gaze softens slightly -just slightly- at a pleading look from Yamaguchi.

“Thanks, guys. I’ll keep that in mind.” I smile up at them widely and Tsukishima looks away, glaring hard at the poor wall behind me.

“You gonna come back to class?” The freckled teen asks quietly.

I shake my head. “I’m probably gonna go hang out in the bathroom for the rest of the bell.” I admit, chuckling.

At that the duo say their goodbyes to me and head back towards the classroom. I see some curious eyes peering at me from inside, but I ignore them, focusing on pulling myself up to my feet without my knees buckling again. I succeed and stumble down the hallway slowly, leaning heavily against the wall for support. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I started a new series that features Kuroo x Tsukishima if you want to go check it out? It's a rather personal thing for me to be putting online but I thought 'why not?". It's called Because of You. You should read it.   
> Anyhoo, this chapter was inspired by a really shitty teacher I have who treats everyone like crap. I hope you enjoyed.   
> Let me know what you thought in the comments. Please. I want to know what you guys liked and didn't liked so I can make future chapters better. 
> 
> Oh yeah and I saw this new Iwaoi cancer fic and I was like 'oh crap i'm gonna have to compete with this now' but then I read and I fell in love. Haha I don't get me why am I so competitive. II'm gonna stop rambling now. Thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team fuzzies!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is up so late, I've had a busy day, but please enjoy.

“You guys excited?” Daichi bellows.

The team whoops and shouts, their excitement palpable. I launch myself up in the air and the team scatters away from me, awaiting impact. At the last moment I dig my fingers into Kageyama’s back and he swears and attempts to push me away, but I cling onto his back for a few moments before gently dropping down.

“What the hell was that?” He growls, flicking my forehead.

I cover my smirk with a hand. “I was afraid that I would break my legs if I landed at that speed.” He rolls his eyes at my response.

What I said was a lie. My bones are aching too much for a hard landing, and I only realized after jumping what I had done. [1] I won’t admit this fact to him, though, especially not before our practice match.

The sun is still rising in the sky and it casts an orange glow over the ground. The faint smell of gasoline and wildflowers hangs in the air, and I can’t help but feel nostalgia. Days of running down the sidewalk next to the steady stream of traffic, paper lunch in my hand, watching the small patches of flowers in the crack of the curb sway with the breeze of incoming cars. Memories of little boys and girls greeting me as we ran into the elementary school. Back then I didn’t have volleyball, but I also didn’t have cancer.

It has been two days since the classroom incident, and with a note from the doctor to back me up, I am heading with the club to the long-awaited practice match. It’s only a three day trip but I am glad to be finally out of the doctor’s clutches, even if just for a short while.

“Let’s go, first years!” A shout from Daichi brings me out of my thoughts. We pull our luggage away from the gym to the bus. I trail a little behind from Kageyama as I look behind my shoulder to peer through the windows at the students still slaving away at their schoolwork. Another smirk finds its way to my lips.

We climb onto the bus and I sit beside Kageyama, who averts his gaze from me and stares out the window.

I glance to see what he’s looking at and immediately squeal. “Are those cows? Real live cows?” I gain the attention of most of the bus with my cries.

Kageyama immediately shuts me down. “You literally pass by that farm every day on the way to school. Are you a complete dumbass, or are you trying to mess with us?”

I blush and kick him in the shin. “Shut up, Bakageyama.”

“Then stop making a damn fool of yourself.” His eyes narrow at me.

I mutter quietly, mostly to myself. “They don’t have the cows outside in the morning.”

Kageyama snorts. “Just shut up.”

We are silent for a few minutes with Kageyama listening to music and me staring out the window. That is, until Nishinoya-senpai approaches our seat. Both me and Kageyama tense, expecting him to yell at me again, but one glance at his face relaxes me. I touch Kageyama’s shoulder and he stops clenching his fists.

“What’s up?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

I look of determination is set upon his face. “I would like to talk to you in private, please, Hinata.”

I bite my lip and nod. I follow him, ignoring Kageyama’s questioning stare and trying to ignore the thumbs-up Tanaka gives to the other second year.

“Okay, look.” He starts as soon as we arrive in the secluded back of the bus. “I know I’ve kinda been a real jerk lately.”

I nod slowly, feeling once forgotten anger towards him returning.

“Sometimes I have difficulties dealing with change. I’ve always had that problem, and I guess I kind of took it out on you. You don’t have to forgive me, because I know I’ve hurt you when you needed support. I just want you to understand why I acted the way I did, even if it was out of line.”

I nod again, letting the information sink in. “I know it can be hard to accept that type of stuff. You don’t know how many times I’ve cried myself to sleep since I’ve found out. I just thought that...” I stop to sniff. “That you of all people would be there for me.” I know what I’m saying is selfish but I can’t stop it from coming out of my mouth. It’s how I feel.

“I’m sorry.” His voice breaks.

“But you are reacting better than a lot of other people I know. My mom ignored me for a whole day after we found out.” I chuckle.

His eyes widen. “What? Are you serious?”

I wave a dismissive hand. “We’re good now. I’ve forgiven her. And I suppose I can forgive you too. Just realize that I know better than anyone what my limitations are. I don’t need you to tell me when I can and can’t play volleyball.” My voice is firm. It feels like it’s been so long since I have stated my mind with such confidence and I can’t help but feel proud.

Tears well in his eyes. “I was way out of line when I said that. I didn’t mean a single word. Thanks for forgiving me. I’m going to try to work on how I cope with change; you made me realize how badly I deal with this type of stuff.” He wipes quickly at the budding tears in his eyes.

“Thanks, Noya-senpai. It does mean a lot.” I can’t help the smile that spreads on my face.

Before I realize what’s happening he has me wrapped up in a strong, warm hug. I can feel his muscles quivering slightly and I tighten my arms around his back. He sniffs one more time before pulling back.

“I guess we can go back now...”

I nod and we head back into the bus where I see Tanaka giving him a questioning look. Nishinoya wipes at his eyes again and gives him a thumbs up. The baldie throws his arms in the air, cheering.

I quickly return to my seat so they don’t see the blush on my face and at Kageyama’s raised eyebrow, I say “We made up.”

He nodded slowly before returning his attention to his music.

\---

The bus stops some time later for dinner and the team heads into a fast food restaurant. I reluctantly order a salad, since that is the only thing on the menu I am allowed to eat and join my teammates at a round table.

“Sit here, Hinata!” calls Tanaka.

I sit down between him and Nishinoya and poke at the lettuce while taking little sips of water.

“What’s wrong? Are you not hungry?” Nishinoya asks.

I nod. “That, and the sooner I eat the sooner I have to take my medications.”

At this Ukai speaks up. “Eat right now.”

I sigh and force myself to consume the tasteless salad, chewing and swallowing while trying not to gag. When I have shoveled down half the plate I lean back in my chair to pull my pills out of my bag.

“That’s a shitload of medications you’ve got there.” Tanaka observes.

“Yep. I was never the best at taking pills until,” I gesture towards the huge bag of medicine on the table. “this happened.”

Kageyama reaches over to smack the back of my head lightly. “Stop complaining and take them.”

“I know, stupid. Let me take my time.” I grumble.

A few minutes later we clamber back into the bus, rubbing our sore muscles and yawning with drowsiness. The sky is finally starting to darken, and Suga pulls out a movie to play on the little TV screens hanging above the seats. It’s some American film about a boat sinking. Within a few minutes I feel my eyes drooping. I’m not sure if it’s from the long, tiring bus ride, the medication, or the movie, but fatigue comes swooping in on me like a thick blanket, and I can’t help my head from bobbing onto Kageyama’s shoulder. He stiffens and whips his head around to look at me, but to my surprise upon seeing my tired face he turns away without saying anything. I nuzzle into the warmth of his shoulder without thinking and he tenses up a bit more, but once again doesn’t protest. Quite a while later, when I am on the edge of sleep I feel a weight on my head, and when I glance over to the side I realize Kageyama’s head is laying on mine. Heat rushes to my face, but I let myself to succumb to sleep. Before I fade completely, I hear a little snicker from in front of me but I am too tired to care.

\---

We are roused from our slumber at the sound of cheering and Kageyama springs up from his seat, glaring at me with the pinkest face I have seen him wear in my life.

“We’re here!” Nishinoya cries, running back and forth down the aisle of the bus to wake up his sleepy teammates.

Suga rubs his eyes. “What time is it?” He mumbles, his voice slurred with lassitude.

Daichi ruffles up his friend’s sleep-mussed hair with a warm smile. “It’s two in the morning.”

“Have you guys been up this entire time?” I marvel.

Nishinoya responds. “Nah, Ukai woke us up a few minutes ago.” He snickers. “You and Kageyama were looking too peaceful to wake up.”

The rest of the team chuckles at the pure humiliation evident on both of our faces.

“It’s your damn fault for falling asleep on me.” Kageyama mutters angrily when he sees my expression.

I stomp my foot. “I couldn’t get away from you anyway cause you shoved your head on top of mine!”

“Now, now...” Suga soothes, his hand rubbing my back.

“Remember to text me the pictures later!” Tanaka calls out toward the grey haired boy. Me and Kageyama both slowly turn around to glare at Suga. His face is the very quintessence of innocence.

I nearly sob. “Suga, I trusted you!”

He laughs. “You looked so cute together, I couldn’t help it!”

I don’t bother to look at Kageyama’s face, I know he is mortified.

“Don’t worry, Hinata, we got some good pictures of Suga curled up in a ball sleeping, too.”

An angelic smile appears on Suga’s face, a mask hiding the bubbling rage that is just beneath the surface. The team gulps collectively.

“Would you mind giving me the original copy of the photo?”

Nishinoya frantically opens his phone and lets Suga watch as he deletes the photo- which is adorable.

“Thank you. Let’s not repeat that.” The smile on his face is positively venomous. Nearly as scary as Daichi’s angry face.

When Suga walks to the front of the bus to get his stuff, I see Nishinoya turn around to Tanaka. “Don’t worry, I got three more backup photos.” He whispers.

The whole team gives him a thumbs up and satisfied, we grab our luggage to bring inside the school dorms.

The dorms are spacious and while I would usually be checking everything out in excitement I am drowsy tonight so I simply brush my teeth and change into pajamas before slipping under the covers of my futon. I fall asleep before anyone else is done unpacking.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1] Another symptom for leukemia is bone pain, which I haven't mentioned in previous chapters. I never got to work that in before so I decided now is a better time than any.
> 
> IDK I personally didn't think this chapter was too interesting but leT ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK IN THE COMMENTS.
> 
> I got a ton last chapter and I LOVED it. Can that happen again? I would give you a hug! (Wow I am actually begging you for comments I am that desperate)
> 
> Thanks for reading, next chapter should be up on Saturday.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Practice match!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah this chapter is unbetaed and terrible you’re welcome.

I wake to a firm hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. My eyes open slowly to find Suga smiling down at me. I bring my hands up to rub my eyes as I blink at the bright, burning light flooding into the room.

“Rise and shine...” Suga coos, and I despite a groan, a small smile flits across my face.

I hear a shout from another room. “Come on already! You’re the last one up!” It’s Kageyama.

I stretch out my limbs, sighing at the dull ache in my joints that is probably going to keep me off the court today. Suga leaves turns away to join the rest of the team and I reluctantly pull myself out of the futon. I peer around the room, curious about my surroundings now that the drowsiness from last night is gone.

It is a rather dull room, with around twenty futons crammed to fit into the room clearly not meant for such a huge number of people. There is a small window across from where I slept with a shade halfway covering it, letting a little shaft of light pour into the room. The light up above is on but dull and flickering, so the majority of the room’s light is natural.

I hop onto the cracks of floor between the futons, mainly out of politeness, as I make my way towards the door, before I realize I forgot my bag of supplies and hop back in the same process. When I finally exit the room, bag of items in hand, most of the team is getting washed up at the small public bathroom with some scrubby sinks lined up against one wall. When I catch Nishinoya’s eye, he grins up at me, a lightness in his face that I haven’t seen since before I was diagnosed.

I join them getting washed up and when we crowd around the table for breakfast, there are muffins waiting there. On a normal day, I would have devoured them, but today is not one of those days, and when the team decides who will split the last muffin I offer to just eat a half. I am met with disapproving glances from the team’s worrywarts but I ignore them and take a few small bites out of the food before setting it back on my plate. Sure, it tastes good. I’m just not hungry enough to eat it. When the team finally finishes eating I breathe a sigh of relief and dump the rest of my meal in the trashcan.

The rest of the team leaves to go get ready for the game, but I head for the bathrooms once again to take my medications.

\---

“This team doesn’t seem to formidable to me... Look at all the shorties they got.” A snicker comes from the other side of the hallway where a few teammates from the other team are crowded, assessing us.

At these words our entire team tenses, but even Tanaka says nothing after a warning glare from Daichi.

We move to continue to the gym, but another sneer stops us in our tracks. “Stupid, those players are probably benched. Or libero. Don’t judge them based off their weak players, judge them based on their strong players.” My heart rate picks up but I keep my mouth shut.

I see Nishinoya ball his fists, but Suga pushes on his shoulders to continue walking and we step into the gym. The rest of our opposing team is in the gym warming up, and I have to admit they do look strong. Their shortest player has to be at least 5’7.

“C’mon, guys. Ignore them and let’s start warmups.” Daichi orders, and the team complies, grabbing kneepads out of bags and taking sips out of their water bottles before jogging out onto the court to do passes. I sit down onto the cold metal bench and lean back, letting out a short huff. Those players were right. I am on the bench. I itch to prove to them just what I can do but instead I am stuck here, kicking my legs out in boredom while my team has fun without me.

I zip open my bag and fish around for my phone, and I smile when I see that I have an incoming message from Kenma. I type back a quick reply and shove the phone aside to observe the other team.

The boys who were scoffing at us earlier are warming up with the rest of their team. I surge of anger runs through me once again but I force myself to take a slow breath in and out and think about something else. Maybe we’ll win today and prove them wrong. No. We’ll definitely win. I can’t help but grin at the thought.

I only realized I have spaced out when a sharp whistle blows, making me jump out of my seat. I see our team lining up at the center of the court and push off the bench to join them. I am facing a tall, muscular boy who glares down at me. I shrink under his gaze and have to fight the urge to hide behind Tanaka’s back. His shoulder bumps mine and I peek up at him. He flashes me a comforting smile and I turn back to my opponent with my chest puffed and my head high.

When the team runs back to the benches I join the huddle and listen in on the pep talk Daichi gives us.

“Even though this is a practice match, I still expect you to give 110%. We can do this. Let’s go,” he ends. The team cheers and they rush out to their positions. The benched players join me and they talk to quietly among themselves, but I soon tune them out to watch the game.

I watch as the opposing team serves and Tanaka hits the ball back easily. Suga calls out praise from beside me, and for once I realize just how hard it must be for Suga to sit out. He was the main setter, after all, until Kageyama showed up. I look up at him and see that a serene smile is on his face, and I would almost think he was calm if not for the determined set of his eyebrow. After a moment he returns my gaze, the corners of his smile turning up a bit more before he brings his attention back to the game. I follow his lead.

Kageyama is setting the ball up, and I watch as Asahi rushes forward to slam the ball past our opponents defenses. I can’t help but cry in excitement at his pure determination and strength. I can tell the other team is shaken up, the benched players muttering to each other while sending glances to the ace.

We end up winning the first set, although our team is, to my pride, stunted noticeably by my absence. Even so, simply watching the game is beyond exciting for me. And even though it sucks to be left out, watching a match that I’m so invested in is surprisingly just as exciting as actually playing.

It’s all a rush of adrenaline and fun until I hear a loud voice from the other team’s bench cackling. “The shorties got so defensive over what we said, even though it was completely accurate!” I scrunch up my face in anger. It’s the guys from before. Before I can shout anything in our team’s defense, the whistle blows and team heads out to the court with muscles taut from anger.

We are gaining the advantage in this set just as easily as the last, if not easier, so when about halfway through the match our team calls for a time-out, I am slightly confused.

Daichi talks to the coach for a few moments before Ukai walks towards me, a hint of a smile on his face.

“What’s up?” I question.

He offers me his hand and helps me to my feet. “Wanna come in for the last half of this set? We can sub you out whenever you feel bad.” I gasp and I swear my heart skips a beat.

“Ohmygod yes thankyou so much!” I bend down to do some quick stretches before I sprint out onto the court, bubbly and giddy with happiness.

“Calm down, stupid,” grumbles Kageyama, “You’re going to explode.”

I shoot him a glare before glancing over to the benched opponents. They seem a bit confused by me being put in and I barely resist the urge to stick my tongue out at them. I am stopped, thankfully, by the blowing of the whistle. The ball flies over to the other side of the net and the team returns it with ease. Daichi gets the ball and it’s in the perfect position for Kageyama to spike it to me. Our eyes meet and an understanding passes between us. I swear I see his eyes glimmer in excitement. I glance over to find a space in the defense and rush towards it, ignoring the protest of my bones and the fogginess of my mind. It can’t hold me back right now. I launch myself up, screwing my eyes shut, and flap my firm hand out in front of me and when I feel that sting, that little jolt of electricity that spreads from my palm through my body to my toes, I know I’m free. The loud pop of the ball hitting the gym floor lets me know I succeeded and I start giggling in elation.

“Yes!” our team whispers in unison.

I can’t wipe the grin off my face. And with a glance to my teammates I see that they can’t, either. Broad, proud smiles shine from ear to ear on every single player on the court (besides Tsukishima) and even Kageyama’s eyes are narrowed a bit in what I can only guess is satisfaction.

And a short look at the other team can show that they are shaken. The players on the bench have stopped whispering and are only staring at me openmouthed.

“Take that, Stupid-heads!” I shout, jabbing my stubby finger at them.

Daichi sighs my name in exasperation but makes no other moves to shut me down.

But then I realize that the slight fogginess in my head has increased and little jolts of pain in the back of my head have began to make their presence.

“I think I need to sit down...” I reluctantly admit to the team. Their smiles soften a bit, but don’t disappear as I make my way to the bench, my head held a little higher and my shoulders a bit broader.

And as I sit down on the bench, my pride doesn’t alleviate, and with my head bowed in thanks, I whisper a small ‘thank you’ to no one in particular.

We win the match by a landslide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay yeah so procrastination happened. I was basically reading FMA fanfiction all week and I didn’t really start this chapter until late today. Sorry if it sucked. You can yell at me.   
> And if anybody has angsty FMA stories to recommend, I’m all ears. >:) (but not if it’s edwin or royai because i’m royed trash (parental royed is good too))  
> Haha what am I doing. Okay. Please comment and let me know if you hated it :D
> 
> I am nearing the end of my outlined chapters, so if you have any requests for future situations I may be able to include them in my plans (if I decide to continue writing this) so don't be afraid to give me requests!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter for once, so I spent a bit more time on it than I usually do. And it’s up a day early, so you’re welcome ;)

The rest of the short vacation had gone by quickly, mostly with me resting while our team did monotonous exercises and sprints until they were half-dead from exhaustion. When we arrived home, the bus was filled with zombies instead of the energetic teens they usually were and it was almost amusing to see the major contrast from the beginning of the trip to the end.

A creak of the door announces my arrival home and I am greeted with squealing and shouting from Natsu.

“Welcome home, sweetie!” my mother greets.

I wave to her with a smile and hoist my bag up the front step with a grunt.

“Bro, bro, I drew you a picture!” A white sheet of paper is thrust into my face and I take it into my hands to scrutinize it. It seems to be a stick figure with orange hair hitting a circle, presumably a ball, over a rectangular object which is most likely a net.

“Is this me?” I ask her with enthusiasm. She nods rapidly, her sparkling eyes seeking out mine.

I pull her into a short hug and I feel those little fingers curl around my back. “Thanks, Natsu. It’s amazing!” With that she takes off running down the hallway to her room without a word.

My mom chuckles. “She has been excited to show you that since the day you left.”

She grabs my suitcase from me and pulls it further into the house, chattering lightly to me as she goes. She forces me to sleep as soon as I am done getting settled, and my rest is gentle and satisfying for once.

\---

Gentle, cold fingers running over my face wake me. I pry my eyes open against the stinging light to see my mother’s tired face smiling down at me. I push myself up so we are eye to eye and I return her smile as I rub my eyes free of grime built up over the night.

“Morning. I have breakfast ready for you.” I run a hand through my hair and freeze.

My blood runs cold, and I search my mother’s gaze desperately. “Mom. Can you give me a second alone? I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

Her smile melts a little, but she nods and leaves without another word. I breathe a sigh of relief and sneak a reluctant glance at my pillow. Sure enough, it is covered in clumps of my hair.. I run my hands over the pillow, gathering up the little strands into a pile, and I nearly sob at the amount of hair I lost. I pull my fingers through the hair still on my scalp and I come away with a thin layer of bright orange hair on my hands. I brush it off into the pile I made and stumble out of bed, tripping over my own feet to get to the mirror. I grab around for my brush without taking my eyes off of my reflection in the mirror. When my fingers meet the cool plastic I bring it up to my head and yank it through my hair. It doesn’t even hurt as I feel little strands come loose into the brush. Sure, my scalp had been stinging since I started treatment, but it seems like all the nerves in the dead hair have died. I look down into my brush and with a tightening in my throat I see that it is filled with my hair. And I had cleaned my brush before I left for the trip. Reluctantly, I pull the brush through my hair once more, wincing at the feeling of the strands being pulled away from my scalp. How gross.

With an inspection to my hair, I force out a breath. I can’t hide it anymore. There is too much hair gone to simply brush it over the bald spots. I run over to the drawer I had shoved away my wig and supplies into and glare at them for a minute before I pull them out. I work quickly, pulling on the wig cap and placing the wig on top of it, front to back like I had been taught at the store. I experimentally shake my head and find that it doesn’t move. Good. It looks almost like my real hair, but to my harsh eyes I can see every flaw and difference. And I can’t help that choked feeling I have in my chest at the thought of having to face my teammates and classmates like this.

Before I  join my mother in the kitchen I gather up my sheddings from sleep and toss them into my trashcan. I stare at the clump of hair for a moment before I grab a tissue and place it on top of the pile. I can’t help the shame I feel every time I see it.

I sneak another glance at myself when I exit the room and I am almost convinced that it’s real. But that heavy feeling in my chest doesn’t go away, because I know that it isn’t.

“Hey, mom.” My voice sounds gloomy, even to myself.

“What’s wrong, honey?” my mother asks, worry evident in her tone.

I look up at her, balling my fists with a bite of my lip. “Can’t you tell?”

She scans me with apprehension, but then slowly shakes her head. The knot in my gut loosens, even just slightly.

“Never mind, then.”

I don’t have much of an appetite so breakfast is finished rather quickly and I am heading out the door before I know it. When I meet Kageyama, I can’t help but keep my eyes on the ground in self-consciousness but he makes no comment toward my change, and when I sneak a glance at him his eyes are unworried and bored. He doesn’t know. Relief crashes through me like a tidal wave.

I decide to sit out during practice, mostly out of fear that somebody will get too close to me and find out that my hair isn’t really mine. It lays snug on my head and constantly reminds me of it’s presence with small itches that I can’t satisfy through the layers of fabric.

“You okay there?” Takeda asks out of the blue while the team practices setting, “You seem a bit out of it today. Did we push you too hard over the weekend?” His eyes reflect concern and caring and my gut squeezes.

“I’m okay. Thanks though.” I keep my eyes in my lap and after another moment of silence he retreats to talk to Ukai.

A shout jerks me out of my daze and Nishinoya sprints over to me, face plastered into a grin. A small hand wraps it’s way around wrist before I can process what is happening and I am jerked out of my seat. My eyes widen in horror as I realize too late that the wig is slipping. Nishinoya doesn’t seem to notice, continuing to drag my paralyzed body along as he chatters to me. But already my breath is caught in my chest and my lower lip is beginning to tremble. My free hand reaches up to feel my wig, and to my terror I feel that is sideways on my head. Out of the corner of my eye I see Suga look over to us and he stops in mid-sentence, whatever he was saying long forgotten. Before I have the mind to move my faux hair back in place, it is too late and the team has seen it. I rush to adjust it on my head and with one last sparing glance at my friends, I bolt from the room. One thought is racing around my head the entire sprint. I knew the wig was a bad idea.

All I can hear is the rush of wind in my ears as I dash, dodging the occasional student. My vision is blurred with tears but I can make out the vague shapes of objects enough to stop a collision. That is until my hoodie tightens around my neck and I am jerked back roughly. I cough and claw at the cloth cutting off my airways.

“Stop! Stupid, stop pulling, you’re gonna choke yourself!” Kageyama’s voice pulls me out of my struggle and I whip my body around to face him. He lets go of my hood in surprise and I use this opportunity to once again escape. I run for the bathroom and slam a stall closed behind me. The tears are unstoppable and I just let them flow, and with it a wailing sob that is amplified by the echoes of the tiled room.

I hear footsteps slam in a few seconds after settling onto the toilet to avoid collapsing, and fists bang on the metal door.

“Open up! C’mon Hinata!” He continues to spout out pleas and curses and I just sink down into myself further, my head in my hands. “At least answer me! Are you okay?” His voice softens a bit and I bite back another sob.

“I’m fine. Go away.” I don’t even care enough to be embarrassed about the quiver in my voice.

A heavy rush of air escapes my teammate’s lips. “Like hell you’re okay. You sound like you’re sobbing...”

I sniff and wipe my nose with the back of my hand. “That’s because I am, you big ball of earwax!”

“I didn’t know that...” he pauses, “You know... it would be... gone so soon.”

Another sob escapes my lips and I pull my knees up, wrapping my hands around them.

“It’s really not noticeable, though! Really! I couldn’t tell you had one on until it slipped,” he rushes. I almost laugh about his sensitivity to the subject, but instead more tears leak out of my eyes.

“I wasn’t really intending for you guys to find out. It’s not like I like having to wear a wig.” I am almost pouting.

Another pause, then, “Are you... you know... bald?”

For some reason heat floods to my face. I don’t know why, exactly. I’ve known this forever, but hearing it voiced aloud, by Kageyama of all people, makes it sound like something more shameful.

“Not completely. I still have most of my hair. Just, too much is gone.” My arms tighten around my knees.

I hear a thud against the door, and then the rustle of fabric. His legs slowly bend into my view from the crack at the bottom of the stall before his butt presses to the ground.

“Y’know, Kageyama, I get you’re trying to be dramatic and all, but that’s really kinda gross. Who knows what’s been on this floor?” I can’t help but let a little watery giggle escape past the hitch in my throat.

“Dumbass Hinata! That should really be the least of your worries right now!” he snaps.

I sigh sadly, “I guess you’re right...”

“Hey... you know we’re still gonna like you the same, right? There’s no reason to be... y-you know... ashamed? Of like... wearing a wig?”

My lips tilt up at the corners. “I know that... it’s just weird. This hasn’t really felt real to me until I started to lose my hair. And maybe it’s girly of me, but losing my hair is like losing a part of me, y’know? If people didn’t notice me because of my height, they at least noticed me because of my crazy orange hair! And I can’t proudly say that it’s mine now! Because this isn’t my hair! It’s some random person’s hair. Someone that decided to donate it to charity cases like me...” My shoulders slump and I lean back, stretching my sore muscles in the process.

“Y-you’re hair wasn’t the only noticeable thing about you, you know.” I can practically hear his blush and my trembling smile returns.

“Oh yeah?” I try to keep my voice glum, because I really want to hear what he has to say. Not that I still am not glum, but Kageyama’s awkward way of stumbling over words is oddly comforting, something I have been learning quite a lot lately.

“Mmm, yeah. Of course. L-like your personality is unforgettable, that’s for sure.” I roll my eyes at the sarcastic bite starting to creep into his tone. “And, um, your jump makes up for your height, definitely! And um... well... lemme see... there is... well... you know...” he struggles.

“Thanks, Kageyama. You can stop lowering my self esteem now.” But I speak with a lightness that I wasn’t feeling a few minutes prior.

“I was trying to-!” he began.

I wipe away some lingering tears. “I’m kidding. Thanks. I still feel like shit, but somehow you and your grumpy self managed to make this a little bit less unbearable?” I am struggling to come up with convincing words. It’s true that he made me feel a little bit better, but I am still on the verge of breaking down again. I can feel it in the shaking of my fingers and the sweat on my forehead.

I reluctantly unlock my stall and giggle when Kageyama falls toward me unsuspectingly with flailing limbs and a yelp. “Oops.”

I ignore his cursing as I rush to the bathroom mirror, stepping over him on the way, to his anger, and fixing my wig so it’s perfectly straight.

“There we go! Perfect!”

“Uuugh. Fuck you dumbass Hinata!”

I bite my lip past another sob that elicits tremors in my shoulders and clench the gross white sink in front of me. A firm hand finds it’s way to my shoulder and I glance in the mirror to see Kageyama is standing behind me, gazing at my broken expression with sympathy. I tear my eyes away from the the view and shove away his comforting contact. My skin screams for its return, but I just walk toward the bathroom door, pausing briefly to utter a small thanks, and exiting. I see Kageyama standing there, staring after me with his hand still raised and something like respect on his face before the door shuts behind me, blocking the foreign expression on his face from me. I take a deep breath, digging my nails into my palms for something like comfort, and head towards the gym. I have some explaining to do.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I recently started reading the Haikyuu!! manga, and somehow I had managed to forget how much of an asshole Kageyama was, but now I just hate his guts again. I think reading his softened down fanfiction personality made me forget that he’s a little shit, but the hatred I used to hold for him is back and in full fire. I SERIOUSLY HATE THAT BASTARD. HE’S SUCH A PETTY BULLY AND HE’S SO CONDESCENDING AND RUDE. UGH. I couldn’t even continue reading to the point where he gets better because his terrible personality just pissed me off so much I would have punched my computer if i kept reading. Had to rant about this somewhere besides the tags on my tumblr so I did it here. Defend him all you want, but nobody mistreats my little Hinata. So for revenge, I made him even more awkward than usual in this chapter.
> 
> On a different note, I hope you enjoyed this chapter :D And please leave a comment with how you felt out about it if you have the time


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata learns something alarming about his treatments, and is treated to a pleasant surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.  
> (read important note at the end)

The doctor flips through his clipboard, tapping a finger against the top edge of it absentmindedly. “So it looks like you are all clear for the next procedure. I’ve been over this a little bit with your mom but I’m guessing she hasn’t told you?”

“No,” my mom answers.

The doctor nods and reads through a few more charts before looking up to meet my eyes. “Tomorrow, we are hoping to be able to give you a spinal tap. It’s an important step in your process of recovery. Essentially, we are getting rid of the cancer in your cerebrospinal fluid.”

I cut in. “Wait! Since when has it been in my spine? I thought that meant it was more serious!”

He gives me a pained look, and his eyes flit over to my mom, as if asking for permission. At her slight nod, that is accompanied by a tensing in her muscles, I note, he speaks. “During your time in the hospital, we ran some more tests. And we found out that contrary to your previous results, there are cancer cells present in those areas. Although the treatment is working, we need to perform this procedure or your health could regress.”

I press my lips together and nod slowly, clasping my hands together in front of me. “So... I’m not getting better?”

The doctor looks to the ceiling and hisses a breath out between his teeth. “You’re not getting better... but your treatment is working. We just need to intensify your treatments more. We originally thought that 1 week would be long enough in the hospital, but we may need you to stay in longer than that next time. For now we are just doing this, and we will see how your body reacts.”

I hum in understanding and lean back in my cold plastic seat, tipping my head back. My eyes squint against the hospital lighting and I feel that ever-present anxiety in my chest come back in full heat.

I had thought I would be done with long term hospital stays after the Induction stage, but now I will be staying there again, possibly even longer than last time. My eyes squeeze shut completely. After this morning’s drama, I haven’t spoken to the team, as I had to come here right after school, but I still need to resolve everything with them. There isn’t really much to resolve, I suppose, but it seems right that I should acknowledge what happened. That can be saved for another time, though, because apparently I have a whole new batch of problems to worry about.

“You’re okay to go home for today though. We will do all your treatments at one time tomorrow.” The doctor informs me.

The dread for tomorrow intensifies at his words but I force myself to meet his eyes and nod, suppressing my shiver.

“Let’s head back, then, Shouyo. I have work I need to get done.” My gaze slides down to the ground at her words but I push out of my chair and follow my mom from where she is already exiting the room.

The walk to the car is quiet, but I see my mom smile at me out of the corner of my eye. She looks tired, I can’t deny that. Her eyes are slightly red from strain and it seems that the wrinkles between her brows have deepened. Even as she walks I can see the way her shoulders hunch over from the stress of sitting in an office chair all day. I bite my lip as hard as I can without breaking skin as I mentally punish myself for doing this to her.

When we reach the car, I open the hot door, savoring the burn on my sensitive skin. I’ve noticed that it’s been extra sensitive ever since chemo started. I don’t mind too much. I need a reminder that I am destroying my family and losing the things I love the most. And that sting accompanying grabbing something too tightly or banging my knee against a table too hard is the perfect reminder.

“Well, put on your seatbelt, Shouyo.” Her laugh lines deepen as she laughs at me and I force my body to relax as I push the hot, burning metal into the fastener.

“Alright, home we go!” I throw my arms into the air and somehow a laugh winds its way through my belly and up my throat.

The car begins to move and my mom assures me that yes, home we go.

\---

“Alright, now onto my homework.” I mumble to myself as we pull into the driveway.

My mom jumps up straight in her seat and I flinch back, flattening myself against the car door I was about to open. “What?” I yelp.

She lets out a calming breath before turning to me. “Don’t get out of the car or you’re in trouble.” Her tone is warning and I nod rapidly in fear. “Now stay here. I’ll tell you when to get out, okay? I might need to take you with me to the drug store, so wait for me to see if I have what I need.”

“Why can’t I come in with you?” I ask her, scratching my wig in confusion.

She presses her lips together and narrows her eyes. “Do not. Get out. Of the car.”

I almost want to argue with her, but the way she is gritting her teeth is fearsome, and so I nod and watch her exit the vehicle. I don’t miss the way her body moves ungracefully, and how her fingers seem to be trembling as she walks towards the front door.

Immediately my heart begins beating faster, and the dread is there, ever present. She slides through the door and it slams shut behind her. I watch the door with increasing terror for several minutes before it opens up again to reveal my mom, who has a soft smile on her face. The expression alleviates my fear, but only a little, and I wipe some sweat dripping from beneath my wig off of my forehead. She motions with her fingers for me to come to her, and I comply after a shuddering deep breath.

“What’s going on?” I can’t help but ask.

My mom laughs softly and shakes her head at me. “Don’t worry about it. I thought I forgot something but I was just being airheaded. We have everything we need.”

I nod slowly as my teeth fumble with my lip. My mom opens the door and steps in slowly and I follow behind her.

There is a moment of silence, where everything seems completely normal and then I hear a small giggle from behind a sofa and chaos erupts from there. First there’s a thud as a body falls from above me (how did they even get up there‽) and then several bodies jump up from behind furniture and voices are screaming happy things and then I feel my mom’s hand on my shoulder and then I realize that I’ve taken a step back. I move back to where I’m standing as I soak in my surroundings. My teammates. My teammates are in my house, some with their hands raised up in the air with happy expressions plastered on their faces. It’s a rather comedic sight, and I can’t help but snort at it. They are just standing there frozen in place, awaiting my reaction and I finally give in to my body’s temptation and hold up a shaking finger to point in their general direction as my shoulders begin to shake with laughter. Soon I am doubled over, clutching my waist to contain the peels of laughter. Before I know it everybody has joined me and then I finally straighten myself up so I can question why exactly my entire volleyball team is in my house.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask, wiping tears out of my eyes.

Nishinoya picks himself up from where he had fallen to the ground and walks forward to stop in front of me. “We know you keep having to go to those shi- sucky doctor’s appointments and you’re probably all tired out and stuff, so we decided to give you a surprise party!”

Sugawara steps forward. “We all want you to know that we are here 100% to support you during these tough times.”

“But just because they’re tough times doesn’t mean they can’t be fun!” Tanaka pipes in, blowing on a party horn afterwards.

Suddenly my throat feels a bit tight and I have to swallow before words can come out again. “Thanks, guys. That really means a lot you know. What are we going to do, though?” I can’t help but ask after the sentimental stuff is done. My enthusiasm isn’t curbed by cancer, after all.

“Well... Yamaguchi brought movies!” Nishinoya suggests.

I nod quickly and everyone migrates to the couch and as we are exiting the room i turn to give my mom a meaningful look. Her eyes narrow a bit in emotion and I give her a wide smile before turning back to my friends.

“So what movie are we watching?” Ennoshita asks.

Yamaguchi holds up a DVD case and out of the corner of my eye I see Tsukishima bolt forward. “Jurassic World...” I read aloud.

“Cool, let’s put it in!” I say cheerfully, and one of the upperclassmen pops the disc into the player. I plop into a beanbag chair and the rest of the group settles on the sofa and the floor. Kageyama sits right near my feet and I resist the urge to poke him in the back with a toe. As if hearing my thoughts he shifts slightly away from me after shooting a distrustful look back at me.

“Oh come on!” I whine, and wiggle my toes into his back with a stretch.

Before I even know what’s happening, he has my ankles in his hands and he’s pulling me forward off of the beanbag and I almost crash into the floor before his ‘nice guy’ instinct kicks in and he grabs my shoulders to pull me up into his chest. My face squeezed up against his body and his hands firm against my back, I immediately begin to feel myself go red.

He pulls back as quickly as he grabbed me, and my eyes widen to see his face is just as red as mine. A glance to the rest of the room reveals that none of them saw that little stunt, and so I sidle away from Kageyama for a moment before sitting next to him by the beanbag and leaning against his side. I’m not sure what gives me the courage to do this, or why I even want to, but I’m glad I do when I feel his arm wrap around my shoulders. I nuzzle my head into his warmth and within minutes, I am drifting off, before the movie has even started.

When I wake up later, I am still tucked into Kageyama’s armpit and his head is on mine. I squint my eyes open against the dull light to see Sugawara snickering with his phone out, snapping photos of us. My palms immediately get sweaty, but I ignore the instinct in me that says to run away quickly and fade back off into sleep with the sound of giggling and crooning teammates like a lullaby in my ear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow yeah I suck I know. Well, if you aren't following me on tumblr, you probably didn't know why I was gone for so long, but I have been having some major writers block. You can probably see that even though I took FOREVER to write this chapter, it is not the best writing I've ever done. So yeah, I'm sorry.
> 
> That was my last planned chapter and I am going to update based on if readers think I should. I realize I never developed the Kagehina enough for it to have full closure, and because of this I want to see what you guys want. Tell me in the comments or on my tumblr whether or not you want me to continue this story, please. You can also give me requests for situations or certain details if you would like, and I will try to incorporate them into future chapters.
> 
> Thank you all for your support thus far. (Can you believe there are 21 chapters of this horrible fic?!) Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and please let me know what you think. Sorry for the bad update.
> 
> haikiuyu.tumblr.com


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My legs are cramping up really oddly and uncomfortably right now but you know what? I’m gonna write this anyway because you children are very important to me.

“Hey mom! Wanna come with me and Natsu to get ice cream?” I call across the house when I pause at the door. Natsu had been begging me for hours and I finally crumbled and agreed to it.

I listen for a few moments, but she doesn’t reply.  Raising an eyebrow, I call out to her again. “Mom?”

There is the rolling sound of her chair sliding across the wooden floor and she finally responds. “Sorry, honey. I’m busy with this project and I can’t get out of it.”

I bite my lip but call out a goodbye to her and exit the house with Natsu. Ever since we found out about my upcoming hospitalization, mom has been stuck in her office doing work. The doctors, luckily for me, said I don’t have to be admitted to the hospital for a few days, which I am honestly relieved about since the more school time I miss, the more makeup work I have to do. I’m already beginning to struggle even more than I usually do with math and science. Mom wants to hire a tutor for me, but I’ve been pushing back on it since our budget is already so tight as it is.

“Shouyou! Pick me up!” Natsu whines, holding her little arms up toward me.

I sigh and shake my head at her. “I can’t anymore, silly! Wait for me to get better than I will pick you up again. You’re getting big, anyway.”

She pouts but doesn’t argue, slouching down and staring at the ground as she walks. I can’t help but ruffle up her hair and she sticks her tongue out at me before running her fingers through her hair to fix it.

“I’m gonna get a HUUUGE cookie monster sundae!” She announces, her smile returning.

I grin down at her. “Then I’ll eat what you can’t finish.”

She frowns at me. “Of course I’ll finish the whole thing! I’m not uncivilized!”

I roll my eyes and nod at her. She’s not going to finish it.

We approach the quaint little store and Natsu begins to bounce on her heels as we wait behind a couple who are ordering.

Soon we have our ice cream and I sip a small milkshake while Natsu digs into her humongous plate of sweets (with a lil’ ice cream on the side). Ten minutes later I’m throwing away my smoothie, a little bit sad that I wasn’t hungry enough to eat something more exciting, and watch as Natsu plays with her remaining ice cream, a small pout on her face. I’m leering at her, and she slowly brings her head up to meet my gaze.

“Fine!” she nearly shouts, “You can eat it!” She shoves her mostly uneaten platter toward me and I begin to eat, closing my eyes to savor the flavor.

* * *

I push open the door with a grunt. “We’re home, mom!”

“Shouyou, come here right now!” My mom calls. She sounds excited and I rush to her office with Natsu at my heel.

“What’s up?” I ask, breathless.

“Your father and I have come to an agreement and we’ll be signing on it tomorrow while you’re at school. I get guardianship over the two of you, but he has to be allowed visitation rights. Are you guys both okay with that?”

I wrinkle my nose in thought. I really don’t like my dad. He never gave anything positive to our household and as of late only brought more drama to my situation. But the fact that he wants visitation rights has to mean something. He didn’t just give me up as soon as our parents separated. He tried to fight for me, even if the way he did it caused more trouble than was necessary.

“Yeah, I guess I’m okay with that,” I finally mumble.

Natsu nods next to me and my mom gives us a warm smile.

“I’m glad this is finally getting solved. And you know what this means, guys?” I cock my head. “This means less expenses for us to pay! No more lawyer! Your father is going to be coming over in a few minutes, so go get yourselves cleaned up.” Mom orders us, shooing teasingly.

We scamper off to our rooms to clean up, and I go to my mirror to double-check my wig. The last thing I want is for it to slip off again, especially in front of my dad. After a once-over of my outfit and face, which I have to wipe chocolate off of, I walk to the living room to wait. Natsu soon joins me and when the doorbell rings, Mom exits her office to answer the door.

They greet each other with a hug and I watch in awe. They’re acting so civilized, a way they haven’t acted in years with each other. Soon Dad walks up to me and my sister and he beckons me to stand up and hug him. I comply, staring at the floor as he wraps me in his arms. He smells vaguely of alcohol and cigarettes, a scent I never want to get used to.

“How have you been, son?” He says in this oddly high-pitched voice reserved for kids.

I feel this odd nausea in my stomach that always comes around when I’m with my dad,  so I reply shortly in hopes that he will move onto Natsu. “Fine.”

“Good.” He rubs my back gently before pulling back and shooting me a friendly smile. I look anywhere but his face.

“C’mere, Natsu!” He pulls her up into his arms and she giggles, throwing her arms around his neck. I watch the interaction in distaste but say nothing, not wanting to ruin this wonderful moment for my sister. “I’ve missed you!” he croons, tickling her and making her shriek in laughter.

I sit back onto the couch as they continue to be sappy together, and for some reason, there’s this odd weight in my stomach. He never pays attention to me like that; but that’s because I always reject his advances. He should try harder though.

I sigh and watch as my mom maneuvers her way through the kitchen to the living room and sits beside me, putting her arm around my shoulders as if she is reading my mind.  I snuggle into her touch, enjoying the warmth, and Dad puts Natsu down, finally.

“We have to think of some things to do as a family!” Dad says, settling down into the couch next to me and pulling Natsu up into his lap.

“Excluding me, I’m guessing?” my mom says dryly.

He smiles apologetically at her and nods.

“Maybe we can go to the amusement park!” Natsu suggests, and I can’t help but feel a little excited at the prospect. I haven’t been to an amusement park in a long time.

Dad pats her head. “That’s a wonderful idea, Natsu!”

Then I remember how our outings have always gone. He talks to Natsu, buys stuff for Natsu, cooes over Natsu, and I tag along behind them. I’m not so excited anymore.

Mom abruptly stands up and I look up at her curiously. “Want to help me with dinner, Shouyou?”

I nod and walk to the kitchen with her without glancing back. “You’re a good son, Shouyou, helping your mother out like that,” he praises.

I can’t help but smile at his praise, but don’t let my dad see it. “Thanks.”

Mom sees my face and grins knowingly at me, and I shoot her a half-hearted glare before I join her at the counter to start cutting tomatoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got about halfway through this chapter and I somehow got distracted by watching the documentary Blackfish. And so I’m recommending that if you haven't seen it, you watch it as soon as you can. It’s a very eye-opening documentary about the effect of whales in captivity and the dangers places such as Sea World possess. I think my new life mission is to save the whales now. Lol.  
> Some of the clips and situations described can be distressing, though, so if you decide to watch it keep that in mind. Okay, sorry for being so off topic. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope you will bear with my sporadic updates. I’m off to Italy in a week so I won’t see you for a while. If anybody has food/ restaurant recommendations for Rome and Milan, PLEASE let me know.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama invites Hinata over to his house for the first time, and confessions of love and sorrows are spilled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so since I’ve kind been getting shit done finally, I’m finally going to put some time into writing this. I’m so sorry for the lack of updates recently, but hopefully I will have gotten a little ahead by the time I uploaded this so you can be expecting more frequent updates. (I didn't, pooey.)
> 
> BUT AREN'T YOU HAPPY I DID SOMETHING FINALLY?
> 
>  
> 
> oh and this is unbetaed. i apologize in advance.

I jump at the feeling of cold fingers upon my shoulder. I whirl around to see Kageyama behind me, holding his hand out stiffly in front of his body like he accidentally just killed something.

“What?” I can’t help but snap. Jesus, he scared me.

He shrinks back a bit under my glare but then swells right back up. “You weren’t listening to me calling your name, so sorr-Y! I had to get your attention somehow! Dumbass.” He adds for good measure.

“Whatever, butthead. What did you need?”

I had walking home from school with the sole purpose of getting out of there as soon as possible before he had basically attacked me on the way there. I had been excited to get home and play with Natsu and have some nice family time, especially after all the drama with mom and dad had finally been solved and we can hold conversations with no tension hanging in the background. This is the reason I’m so impatient with Kageyama.

Kageyama brings his hands to his sides, and weaves them around the fabric of his pants. He flinches back when he sees me eyeing his hands performing their nervous gesture curiously, and soon a determined expression has filled his face. “Wanna come over to my house today?”

I start at his words. That was not what I had been expecting, of all things. But I don’t need even a second to think about it. “Of course, silly!”

He relaxes, and then raises a hand to grab at my sleeve. “Come on then, dumbass. You’re going the wrong way.”

“Wait! I have to stop at home to take some medications first!” I say, wrenching myself free from his tight grasp.

“...Oh, alright.” His voice always softens when my sickness comes up in conversation. Maybe it’s because he has been there through the nitty gritty, and seen the best and worst face that my cancer can show. Maybe he just likes to push it to the back of his mind, like I used to do. I try to face it head on, nowadays. It’s more healthy, or at least that’s what some nurses of mine have told me during my stay at the hospital. But I don’t ignore the fact that I have cancer anymore, I confront it with courage. I consider my illness with all my actions (okay... MOST of my actions) and do what is most healthy for my body. I have learned the hard way that overworking myself will only hurt me in the long run.

So I smack his back, heartily, causing him to stumble forward and cough, and attempt to comfort him. I can understand how he’s feeling. “Don’t feel bad about it or anything! They’re just some measly medications, ya know!”

He rubs the spot where i hit him with a pouty expression on his face. “Kay.”

* * *

 

“Okay, this is my house...” Kageyama says hesitantly as we approach a taller home with all the lights out.

“Wooh, finallly! Who knew we would live so far apart!” I spread my arms out in a stretch, which relieves my aching joints and bones more than one might guess.

Kageyama steps up ahead of me to unlock the door and I rock forward and backward on the balls of my feet while I wait. After his 3rd or fourth attempt, the door finally creaks open and I hoot and rush inside ahead of him.

A tidy house is revealed behind the door, dark wood flooring and bright walls creating a nice contrast. A staircase is to the very left of the entrance to the house, and a cream colored carpet is ran across the middle of  each step. Very pretty.

“Do you have snacks or something? I’m starving!” I complain as Kageyama takes off his shoes behind me.

Kageyama grunts. “We probably have something... Follow me.”

I follow him further into the house to reveal a pretty, white tiled kitchen with dark granite counter tops. “Dang your house is nice...” I mumble mostly to myself as I observe my surroundings and sit myself down on a stool next to the counter.

Kageyama’s face reddens and he ducks down to look inside some cupboard. “I have some cookies...” He glances at me and I shoot him a thumbs up. “Kay.”

He pulls out a small box of Chips Ahoy and I squeal, reaching out with grabby fingers until he relents and hands them to me with an eyeroll.

“Calm down or you’ll make yourself sick, you pig...” he grumbles.

I ignore him and continue to stuff those lovely cookies into my face until he forcibly pulls the box away from me.

“Stop!” He growls, holding the box above his head where he know I won’t be able to reach. I give up trying to reach to avoid making myself look even shorter and instead cross my arms and pout.

We endure a few minutes of silence after I finally allow Kageyama to put the remaining cookies away before I finally break it. “Sooo... You got a movie to watch or something?”

Kageyama bites his lip and furrows his brow. “No, but I can probably find whatever you want to watch online...”

I watch his face intently, and can’t help my eyes from lingering on the lip currently snagged between his teeth. I quickly snap out of it, focusing on the word he just said. “Oh, okay! Well how about that new movie... Inside Out?”

He leads me to his room and he pulls out his laptop, and he points towards a large beanbag chair for me to sit on. I sink into it with a pleased groan and watch as he sits on his bed, navigating through something on his computer. “Okay, I found it. I just hope I don’t get any viruses...” His voice trails off as he stands up and sits on the ground next to my chair.

I peer down at the screen for a moment as the warning screens begin to play before I tap Kageyama’s shoulder. “Maybe it would be easier if you sat up here with me. It’s kinda hard to see the screen.”

He seems to contemplate this for a moment before agreeing and he shifts up into the beanbag chair and puts the laptop on both of our legs. The shifting of weight on the beanbag causes me to lose my balance and I fall against his shoulder. I try to push off of it, but after a moment I change my mind and relax into the warmth and hardness of his body. He stiffens up for a moment but, to my surprise, relaxes without a word. This is the side of Kageyama that I love. This gentle side that doesn’t pick at my flaws and knows the right things to do and say to make me feel comfortable. Soon, the movie is rolling and I’m leaning against him and my eyelids are drooping and I’m soo close to sleep when the sounds coming from the laptop suddenly stop. I open my eyes curiously, and I’m surprised to see Kageyama glaring down at me intensely.

I quickly prop myself up on my arm, leaning away from him. “What did I do wrong?!” I ask fearfully.

His brow furrows for a moment, before realization strikes across his face. “Oh... nothing. Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you about something.” He clears his throat nervously.

“Okay?” I’m not really sure what to think about this.

His eyes dart from my face to the floor and back again and he finally takes in a shaky breath and lets it out in a hiss between his teeth. “Okay. Um I just wanted to tell you... That lately I’ve been looking at you differently? No, I mean, I’ve always kinda looked at you differently, but lately the feeling has been getting stronger. I... I really like you, Hinata. A lot. I like... like like you.”

I’m surprised my eyes even stay in my head with how far my eyelids widen. And soon, as the words he just uttered rattle around in my head a few more times, a heavy, hot blush shoots to my face and my palms get sweaty and mouth gets dry and my pulse is thumping loud in my ears and I don’t know what to do. I’m tongue tied.

His gaze intensifies again, and my eyes dart to my lap, where I am wringing my drenched shaking hands together, kicking my feet out in nervousness. I force myself to speak, finally. “...Me too.” The words are softly uttered, quieter than i’ve ever spoken, and barely there and yet more there than anything I’ve said today.

Kageyama leans forward toward me, seemingly without noticing, with a sharp look in his eyes as he processes my words. “Really?” he asks, almost shyly.

I look up at him again and bite my lip. “Yeah.”

He is silent for a moment. “Okay.”

I straighten myself up, albeit a bit shakily, and take a deep breath. “But... I need to tell you something. Something bad.” I pull in a shuddering breath and my hands come up to fiddle with the hem of my shirt. “I’m going back to the hospital. For longer, this time. The time I spent in the hospital is much shorter than people with my type of leukemia would typically spend there. So I have to go in for more time, because the doctors were stupid and thought it would work since we caught the cancer so early along. But I’m not making any progress killing my cancer cells, so I’m going to have to go through more sucky chemotherapy, and some other procedures, so I can actually make some progress.” That’s what my mom had explained to me on the car ride home from the doctor appointment, at least.

Kageyama’s mouth falls open. And to my astonishment, his eyes start to glisten with tears. His pouty lip starts to wobble as his eyes redden, and he quickly brings a bony hand up to swipe away tears. His eyes squeeze together and more tears leak out and then my instincts kick in and I wrap my arms around his shaking shoulders.

“Don’t cry, silly! It’s okay! Um- I’m not really sure.... Um... I’m sorry!” My hands alternate between patting and brushing through his hair and rubbing his back soothingly.

He pushes his palms into his face to block tears from falling and lets out a throaty sob, quiet and yet so, so loud. “I don’t... Why? Why do you have to go through this shit?” His voice breaks. “I just want you back to normal... Why do you have to be sick? Why are those damn doctors putting you through all this shit if it’s not even going to change anything? Why can’t everything be the way it used to be?! I just want you to spike my sets and I want to be able to play with you normally in games and I want to be a full team again! And... I want you to be happy....” His voice fades out, a little rough, and he peeks between his fingers to look at me.

I am halfway sitting on his lap, hands halted on his shoulders, and staring at him wide-eyed. I slowly scoot to the side so I am sitting pressed up against him, leaning in like we had done minutes earlier. “I-I never realized you felt that way...”

Kageyama sniffs at wipes some remaining snot and tears from his face before looking at me dead on, red rimmed eyes and all. “Of course I feel this way. Everybody on the team- hell- everybody in our school feels this way! We all want you to be happy, Hinata. You deserve it. And... your sickness doesn’t make me like you any less. You’re so strong. Your sickness just proved it again. Even though nobody asked for it to prove anything,” he adds bitterly. His voice is nasally from crying and they’re the most honest words I’ve ever heard him say.

I pull my knees up to my chest and rock back and forth once, feigning a pout as my nose stings and my throat closes up. “You’re gonna make me cry too, asshole.” My voice is raw and shaky, and it’s like the awkwardness from the confession never happened. It’s just us and our emotions, stripped naked.

Cold, calloused hands brush over my smaller ones, and I can’t help but smile against the frown on my face. “You’re pretty amazing, too, Kageyama. Sure, you’re a bastard... but you’re the most genuine bastard I’ve ever met.” I giggle a little, a wet, sobbing type of sound that drags through my throat.

He pushes his face against my head, which makes my wig shift on my head slightly and soothe some of the itches. “Asshole.”

I want time to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like... like like you.  
> I had been planning on using this line from the very beginning because it fits their relationship so well. They're so childish and naive. It's cute. I love that Kageyama said that, tbh.
> 
> Oh and can I admit something to you I am really not proud of? I actually almost started crying writing that one mushy scene. Can you believe it? Emotionless me... crying over my own shit writing. It's horrible. Keep this a secret please.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata gets intimate with the meat buns while Kageyama watches, entranced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drops this here and squirms away

“Honey, I have to go to work now. Are you sure you’ll be alright?” My mom wraps me in a tight embrace, sighing a breath into my ear.

I return the gesture, tightening my hands in the back of her sweater. “I promise. I’m fine. Kageyama’s gonna be here the rest of the day, so don’t worry about it!”

She pulls away to give me one last torn look, before she walks to the door and waves me a final goodbye.

I laugh. “She can be such a worrier, sometimes.”

Kageyama is sitting hunched over in a chair against the wall, elbows on his knees, and had been watching our interaction with a weird scrutiny. “Well, she did leave you alone a lot during the beginning of this...” he grumbles.

“I guess so...” I agree sadly. “She’s trying, though. She’s better now.”

It is a thing I am putting behind me, but something in me finds it hard to forgive her abandoning me when I needed her support the most. I know I’ll get over it, though. She is putting a lot of time into working to support the bills I am bringing in, and needless drama is the last thing she needs right now.

Kageyama grunts in acknowledgement and fishes through his backpack for something. After a moment of shuffling, he pulls out a white paper bag, and I squeal in immediate excitement.

“Meat buns!” I cry.

Kageyama smirks at me. “I picked these up from the store before I left. You can have some too.”

“Obviously I can have some!” I pout, and he tosses me the bag.

“Save me two at least,” he relents.

I don’t answer, already stuffing food into my mouth at a rapid rate. My chest feels warm and I know it was a good decision to confess to him. If this becomes a regular thing, I will stick with him for eternity. I blush at the thought, and pause in my eating to check the inside of the bag. Shit.

“Oi, Kageyama...” I begin timidly, letting the bag fall on top of the covers on my lap.

He bursts from his chair and snatches the bag from me, aura emanating annoyance. “What did you do, dumbass?!” He looks inside and glares at me, and I shiver before pushing myself further back into my hospital bed.

“I-it wasn’t intentional, I swear-” My mind is rushing with possible escape routes and the best time to make my getaway, and I know I won’t come out of this alive.

“Forget it, stupid. I didn’t really need two anyway.” He pulls out the remaining meat bun and nibbles at it gingerly, looking sufficiently pouty.

My head falls down. “I’m soooory Kageyamaaa. I’ll buy them for you next time.”

I look up at him through my eyelashes, and a small smile forces it’s way onto my face against my will when I see that his face is a little redder than it was a moment ago. “Am I cute?” I tease deviously. “Does my adorable face make you flusteered?” I am mocking him in a false baby voice, and I struggle to keep the laughter out of my voice.

“Shut up, asshole! What’s with you today? Did they put the wrong drugs into your IV or something?” He nearly shouts, standing up from his chair again.

I giggle. “Maybe. I can’t even tell right from left at this point. They could have slipped me a little something.”

He sighs and sinks further back into his chair, his smile fading slightly. “We really shouldn’t be joking about this, ya’know.”

“I think it’s fine...” I mumble. After all, what else is there to do besides wait to see what happens? It’s best to just laugh along with the bad stuff while I can, I’m starting to realize.

At that moment a nurse walks into the room, and stops in front of my bed. “You have someone here to see you. He says he is your father.”

I tense automatically at that, but force myself to straighten up and nod in consent when she asks if he can be let in. Kageyama walks over to me and props the back of my hospital bed up so I am in a full upright position. More formal, almost.

Dad walks into the room, a large bouquet of bright yellow flowers in his hand, and he attempts to wave with the large object. “Hey there, kiddo.”

I smile weakly at him. “Hey...”

“I saw these flowers on the way here and they reminded me of you. I just had to stop and pick them up.” He sets the flowers down on the table across the room from my bed and pulls up a seat right next to me. I attempt to relax my posture. It’s been so long since we have been face to face like this.

“Thank you! I bet they’ll brighten up the room... Mom was planning on bringing me some flowers later, and I guess now she won’t have to. She’s been pretty busy working to pay bills nowadays...” My face flushes and I cut myself off. My nervous babbling has led to me basically pointing out that his wife is overworking herself to make up for his slack.

His dad scratches the back of his head, an awkward smile rising up. “Yeah, I guess I could be helping out a bit more, couldn’t I?”

I shake my head rapidly, my flush deepening. “I didn’t mean it like that, of course! I mean, you are doing all you can, I’m sure. I mean, mom _is_ working almost twice her old hours to pay for the hospital, but... I’m sorry, I’m not trying to say this, it’s just-”

“It’s okay,” he interrupts, “It’s the truth. I could be helping you out so much more. But I’m not. I’m really trying to work on fixing my own issues... and sometimes it’s hard for me to face you knowing that I could be trying harder. I got a lot to resolve with myself... I know. But... I like to think that my work is paying off. I haven’t gambled in months, ever since your mother kicked me out. And... I’m so proud seeing how much you’ve grown up in the short time I’ve been gone. I can tell you aren’t going to end up a failure like me. I’m so proud of you, son.”

I find myself unable to meet his eyes, and so instead I stare down at my lap. “I-I’m glad you’re doing better. Thanks. For trying, that is.”

I wince as a large hand comes down to clap me firmly on the shoulder. That’s going to bruise. “It’s what’s expected of me, son. Thanks for dealing with all my crap up to today. Sorry this visit was so short, but I promised your sister that I would take her out shopping today, so I’m going to have to head out. I hope you feel better soon.”

My mood immediately dampens, despite my dislike for him, and I raise my head to watch him exit the room promptly. He didn’t even put the chair back in the right place. I feel my throat tighten. It’s a stupid thing to get angry over, but it’s like my mind is searching for _something_ to blame him for. Besides the usual stuff... Not asking me how I am, and only talking about himself; favoring Natsu over me and pretending not to notice that it bothers me; even talking about personal issues like it’s no big deal in front of my classmate and boyfriend.

“Can you put the chair back where it belongs?” I ask Kageyama. He does so without argument, because the tone of my voice knows that it isn’t a question, it’s a command. I can’t help it. My jaw is tight holding back the anger that is trying to take hold of me. I won’t let it. “Come sit next to me, Kageyama.” I urge him, forcing my voice to soften.

He does. He pulls the chair he was sitting up next to me and lowers the back of my bed again so I am leaning back comfortably, at around a 130 degree angle.

He has his hand resting on the bed next to my waist, and he has a phone in his lap, but seems to be scrutinizing my face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask him.

Kageyama shakes his head and smiles a little, but it’s not his usual forced smile. It’s soft and warm and it makes my chest tighten with something like love. “Nothing. You okay?”

“Yeah,” I answer truthfully. Although it might be a different answer if he wasn’t here, and he wasn’t with me, he is with me, and I feel so _good_. “Thanks.”

I look down at his hand, and with a bite of my lip, I put mine on top of his. It’s cold, as usual. I take my hand off and instead pull it up to hold with both of mine. I weave our fingers together, brushing his palm with my fingers so lightly that it tickles. I splay out his hand so his palm is facing me, and I smile at the little callouses and scars that litter the skin. I weave our fingers together again and tighten my grasp on him, lowering us .

“What are you doing?” he asks me after a moment of staring.

I giggle. “Nothing, really. I just really, really like your hands.”

I see him blush from the corner of my eye. My smile widening, I pull him by our joined hands roughly toward me so he falls sideways against my side.

“What are you doing, dumbass?!” He squawks, his cheek smushed against mine.

I lean into him. “It’s weird. Your body is so warm and your hands are so cold. Why?”

He appears to ponder it for a moment, before his eyes drift shut and he relaxes against me.

The silence continues for several minutes, him resting me watching the constant yet ever-changing dynamic of the room whir on. The fan runs, slowly, making the flowers petals flutter slightly against the breeze. The sky is beginning to darken, and the light above our heads flickers sporadically. Even against the fluorescent lights and white tile, the sunset is tinting the room orange and warm and welcoming. I almost want someone to come raise the blinds. I can’t let myself break the moment though.

Kageyama breaks it for me. He shifts slightly, and then raises his face from mine to look me in the eye. I meet his gaze, eyelids fluttering from drowsiness but curious nonetheless.

“I won’t be able to come tomorrow until later. I’ll try to get here as soon as school gets out. But we’ll have to see.”

I tighten my grip on his hand, a warm smile brightening my face. “That’s okay, silly. You don’t have to be here all the time, you know.”

His hand tightens back. “I want to, though.”

“It’s okay! I promise.” A blush rises to my face when the idea comes to me, but it doesn’t stop me. I lean forward toward him and kiss his cheek gently. His face reddens, for the umpteenth time that day, but he just pulls me into a gentle hug.

“I’ll bring your homework for you tomorrow.”

I nod into his shoulder.

* * *

 

I gasp. My shoulders shake. Sweat seems to be pouring off of every surface of my body, yet I am freezing cold.

“Bucket!” I yelp.

My mom shoves the bucket into my lap and I choke and cough and throw up into it. I am sobbing at the pain and helplessness and my mom just leans in close, eyes wide with worry and fear as I go through this. I am vaguely aware of nurses rushing around the room in the background, saying things to each other, but I tune it out and try to focus on emptying my stomach into the bucket and not onto my lap. My gut feels like wrenching and tumbling around, and I swear I am going to throw up my very stomach if this continues for too much longer. I wipe my mouth with a towel that was conveniently placed next to my bed and face my mother with teary eyes and a quivering lip.

“Can you get me a glass of water?” My voice is rough with abuse.

My mom nods quickly and pulls a bottle out of her purse. I note that her hand is shaking. Mine are shaking twice as hard. I struggle to open the cap so she pulls it from me and does it herself, before handing it back.

I drink it up messily, squeezing my eyes shut even as every muscle in my body is tense and quivering. The water is spilling down my chin and across my face and going into my shirt, but I barely notice.

It hurts so bad.

* * *

 

“It’s been confirmed by the doctors. There are signs of vast improvement in all your scans, and you are scheduled for release today.”

I smile. I can’t quite get myself to pump my fist in the air and scream and shout like I would have weeks ago, but I know that’s just a side effect of all the intense drugs I’ve been subjected to.

My team is crowded around his bed, grinning and cheering in my stead.

The room is covered in color.

Flowers, stuffed animals, quilts, and other unique toys all litter the room. In an odd way, it seems to be lifting my mood as well.

“My bro! You can finally learn great receives from the master when you get back to school!” Noya shouts, gesticulating his arms around wildly. He is grinning widely, and I return the smile as genuinely as I can.

Daichi speaks up. “Speaking of which, when are you coming back to school?”

My mom answers for me. “He’ll be returning as soon as physically possible for him. We agreed that since he has been missing so much school, if he has to go to school with an aid or something, he will do that, because at this rate he isn’t going to pass the grade.”

“Mooom, no need to tell them about my grades!” I whine.

The whole team snickers.

“We already know, Hinata, no use in hiding it,” Suga teases, his eyes narrow in amusement.

I laugh gently and lean back against the bed, closing my eyes for a moment.

“Are you tired, Hinata?” Kageyama is quick to ask, leaning forward.

I open my eyes just slightly so I am squinting at him. “I’m always tired. It’s fine. You guys can stay.”

Kageyama doesn’t answer.

“Hinata, a nurse brought you a wheelchair. Are you ready to go?”

The team parts so she can fit the wheelchair in the small, already crowded room.

I push myself up with some effort. “Ready as I’ll ever be. Let’s go.”

Somewhat clumsily, I climb into the chair and let my mom push me, even though I technically could push myself. It’s just... easier.

“Thanks for coming. He’s just tired. Don’t take this personally.” Mom, as usual, is being over polite.

I roll my eyes. “What am I doing that’s so rude? Excuse _me_ for being tired from CANCER treatments.”

“Hinata,” my mom warns.

I drop my head into my hands and massage my temples. I didn’t mean to snap at her. It’s just, so hard to hold back.

“Hey, bro, don’t worry. We’re gonna make you feel so much better for the rest of today! You’re gonna be the happiest guy EVER!” Tanaka roars, almost ripping off his shirt before Suga intervenes.

“He’s right, though,” Asahi amends, “We’ll keep you entertained for the rest of today, at least.”

I grin up at him. “Thanks, guys. You’re awesome.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was listening to a lot of sappy pop music. You can probably tell.  
> Anyhoo, we're getting close to the end 0.0 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to my awesome cool friend Caitlin for betaing!!!!


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata is itching to ask Daichi something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... this is that one fic about the kid with cancer who's really angsty.  
> So since it’s been so long since I’ve written this story, I went back and reread the last chapter and I couldn't even... I am horrified and I’m pretty sure my confidence in writing just went down at least 40%... oh my god... and my author’s notes are so embarrassing how do I do this...

“Welcome back!” Nishinoya greets from the bench, pulling the backs of his gym shoes over his heels and then bounding towards me. “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better than a few days ago,” I admit.

He slaps me on the back and I wince, knowing it will be a bruise tomorrow, but smile back up at him anyway. “Guys, Hinata’s back!”

I watch as the team filters out of the locker room and I meet eyes with Tsukishima before he quickly looks away, a blush rising on his pale skin.

Suga walks up to me then, a gentle smile on his face as he approaches and scans me over, probably not realizing that I notice. “How is your schoolwork going?”

I shrug, looking up to meet his eyes. “I got most of it done at the hospital... I mean that TV can get pretty boring pretty fast.”

Suga laughs and I give him a small smile. It’s so hard for me to fake it. There’s a nervous churning in my stomach from what I know is to come later today. He raises an eyebrow at me, most likely sensing my mood, but walks away when he sees Tanaka approaching to give us some space.

“What’s up, little bro?” When he is right next to me his eyes widen and I cock my head, confused at his face. “You are SO tiny!” He marvels. As if to emphasize this, he grabs me by armpits and hoists me into the air with a grunt. “Lordie!”

I scowl and I hear some of the team laughing from below. I have never seen the gym from this high up, before, actually. I ignore the tight, bruising grip on my armpits to look around with a enthusiastic ‘oooh’, forgetting how insulted I felt just shortly before.

“I mean, it’s not exactly a secret that he’s short...” Kageyama comments dryly from behind us, and I glare down at him. He continues, anyway. “You’re probably just not used to seeing him standing up.”

Tanaka ponders this for a moment and nods slowly. “Yeah, that’s probably it. Damn, Hinata, you’re almost as small as Nishinoya!”

Nishinoya stomps on Tanaka’s foot and Tanaka howls, dropping me hard, and I wince at the rattling impact on my knees and ankles, but I land on my feet nevertheless.

“Careful!” Daichi, Suga, and Kageyama scold at the same time.

Kageyama grabs me by my collar and drags me away from the upperclassmen, muttering profanities under his breath.

I turn my head when Tsukishima speaks from the edge of the group. “Maybe we should like... I don’t know... start practice?”

Yamaguchi elbows him with a glare, but the blond ignores him.

Daichi nods. “Good idea, Tsukishima.” He turns to address me. “Have your doctors said when you should be okay to play volleyball again?”

I lower my head, looking at my beaten up tennis shoes; I didn’t bother changing into my volleyball ones. “Can I talk to you and Suga after practice?”

Daichi’s eyebrows furrow, but he nods. “Of course. Just sit on the bench, then, and watch out for any consistent mistakes people are making.”

I nod and obediently sit down on the bench, attentive already.

* * *

 

“So what did you need to talk about with us?” Daichi prompts.

After practice, I had been quick to rush them away from the rest of the team, steeling myself to get this over with as soon as possible.

“I just... was wondering...” I begin, worrying my lip. “My doctor told me I can start playing as soon as I start the next phase of my chemo, which will be in the next few weeks.”

I see a smile grow on Suga’s face at this news, but it is still dampened by the apprehension. He knows there’s a reason I am nervous.

My hands tighten into fists around the soft fabric of my school pants. “When I am able to play again, are you even going to let me play in games?” I blurt out loudly. “I haven’t practiced in so long, and I probably suck at playing now!” I can feel tears welling in my eyes, stinging and making my nose water, but I ignore it.

I feel a warm, strong hand on my shoulder, steadying it. I didn’t even realize it was shaking. Daichi steps forward and gives me a warm, yet sympathetic look. “Maybe not for whole games at first,” My gut tightens, “but as soon as you get your strength back, you’ll be back on the court and freaking out our foes once again. You know our team is having more trouble without you. You may have forgotten, but you are an integral member of this team. Without you, we just aren’t the same. We won’t replace you that easily!”

I breathe out a huff of air and look up at my senpai, my lower lip wobbling. “Thanks.” And then I breathe in, shakily. “I won’t let you guys down!”

I pump my fist into the air and grin at them, only faltering slightly at the edges and rush out of the room without saying goodbye.  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. I've made it in 25 chapters. I can do this. I am determined to complete this fic, even if the quality goes down considerably. I feel horrible, too. My betas have stopped responding to emails so the chapters are no longer being betaed, I am severely lacking motivation, and honestly, I realize this chapter is almost as bad as the first chapter was, if not worse. I am struggling with a lot of stuff in my life right now, but at the moment things are finally calming down and I was asked by an anon on tumblr to update this, so here you go. I'm sorry if this is a disappointing update- I've disappointing myself with it, too. I hope you can just realize I have a lot on my plate, and since it's been so long since I've written I'm still getting the hang of it. Hopefully, my next update will be longer and generally more interesting.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite lovesick (sick in multiple aspects) children find that their paths have intertwined into one, very loving, very gay road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the weirdest chapter summary I have ever written and you can blame that on how antsy I am right now.   
> Okay.   
> It’s been a while. I’m thinking about writing ‘hiatus’ in the story description so I’m not letting new readers down with how long these updates take. Anyway, sorry for being so angsty in my last update. Everything’s great, and I’m SO appreciative of all the supportive comments you guys have given me. I took a long break from tumblr and writing, and it really helped me recharge mentally, and give my all to the things I love (singing and acting). Here’s a happy chapter to make up for all my shit. Hope you enjoy :D

 

The moment I step outside, the wind nearly deafens me. I hunker down further into my coat and thank every god that might exist that I listened when mom nagged at me to put a coat on. The sky is a beautiful shade of death, with clouds brewing and leaking out their tears. In a very heavy, uncomfortable, nearing painful way. In a more literal way of putting it, it’s raining really damn hard, and it is dampening my mood. No pun intended.

My mom has started to just drop me off and pick me up from my infusions, and I’m usually fine with that, but today I wish she had come in with me. It would give her more incentive to take pity on me and let me wait out the storm before I head home. Instead, a series of angry text conversations had led me to going out in the treacherous weather to wait for her car to pull up. 

As I walk up the sidewalk lining the hospital, I watch as my mom pulls up in her van. Thank god. My hands scrabble at the slippery door handle, shaking slightly from the cold, and she just smiles at me gently. I glare at the floor. It will take at least 15 minutes of sulking for me to forgive her for making me come out in this weather. Plus I just got chemotherapy. I’m allowed to be angry. I have cancer. 

As my mom pulls away, I open my phone to help pass the time. It pings just as I am about to pull up Kageyama’s contact. 

 

[From: Kageyama 

I’m coming over you better be home]

 

My eyes widen and I scramble to open the response box.

 

[To: Kageyama

WAIT I’M ON MY WAY HOME FROM

A CHEMO SESSION. WAIT. I’LL

BE THERE SOON. WHY ARE YOU

DOING THIS :0 :0 :0]

 

After several moments of him not responding, I close my phone and blow a breath between my lips loudly. And glance up at my mom through the corner of my eye. And slump. 

“I forgive you, mom,” I say, and she looks at me sharply.

It’s okay, though. I can see the corners of her mouth struggling to stay firm. Despite this, she retorts, “I don’t remember asking for your forgiveness.”

I huff out a sincere laugh. “I know, mom. I was just trying to break the ice.” I pick at a crusty piece of rice on my sleeve. “Oh. Yeah. Apparently Kageyama is waiting at home.”

She lets herself laugh now. “Good thing we don’t have anything important to do after this.”

I giggle at the thought of his face if we had to kick him out. “Yep.”

 

Mom lets me out in the driveway while she parks, so I reach Kageyama without her at my side.

“Took you long enough, dumbass.” He spits. His hair is plastered against his forehead and his clothes are molded to his body. I don’t miss the slight hint of a blush on his cheeks, and the slight warmth to his eyes as he regards me. I know he isn’t actually mad.

“It’s your own fault for coming over without asking me first,” I whine. 

He just snorts. He knows he lost. I unlock the door and I motion for him to stay on the matt when we get inside. He begins stripping off his shoes while I look for a towel to help him dry off.

“Here you go!” I hand him a towel when I have located one and he yanks it from me and wraps it around himself. Now that he’s inside, his shivers have become more pronounced. I am feeling an odd urge to wrap him in my arms to help warm him up. I resist it with the mere thought of him getting me wet. “Let’s go to my room,” I call over my shoulder, having already started walking. 

Once we’re settled, him on my chair and me on my bed, a little bit of a silence ensues. It’s not particularly awkward, but I’d rather it ended. 

“So... why did you come over so urgently?”

Kageyama is staring intensely at the carpet. I almost want to check it for stains. 

“I wanted to talk to you about something.”

The silence hangs in the air for a good minute before he continues.

“You know... how... well, I-I mean... We’re kinda close. And stuff.” The color in his face is rapidly rising, and he still won’t make eye contact. 

I interrupt. “We’re like halfway across the room from each other.”

His eyebrows furrow in confusion, and then his face flushes even more, if possible. 

“No. I mean, lately, we’ve been together a lot. We are close. And well, I’ve been thinking.” He swallows audibly, “That I kinda. Want to be together even more. Than that. Like. Can you-”

_ Oh.  _ I flush to my collarbones. “Yeah.” I breathe before he can continue. He finally snaps his head up to make eye contact with me. “I wanna be closer too.” 

He stands up quickly and stalks toward me, almost predatory in manner. “When I say that, I mean like... gay stuff.”

I feel sweat beading on my forehead. “I know, stupid! You’re being embarrassing! Stop!” 

A vein in his forehead throbs. “How could this not be embarrassing?!” His hands are fisted in the soft fabric of his sport shorts, most likely still damp. 

I slowly bring up a sweaty hand to cup his tense hand, and slowly he relaxes his grip to tangle our fingers together. I pat the space next to me on the bed, and he sits down, not letting go. This is nothing new. This is okay. I lean against him, and the silence is palpable. The ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway is echoing into my room, and it’s bringing out the headache that I knew was on the way. After all, I can never be completely comfortable after an infusion. 

Finally, to distract myself from the ever building throb, I speak up, softly, afraid to disturb the calm. “So... what are we?”

Kageyama shifts slightly, making my body fall a bit further onto his chest. “I guess. Do you wanna like. Be my boyfriend?” I can feel palms start to sweat again.

I smile at his discomfort and crane my neck to kiss his cheek. “That sounds great to me.” 

We both hear my mom's footsteps down the hallway at the same time and jump out of the bed frantically.

When she reaches the door, Kageyama is splayed across my desk in a failed effort to sit in the rolly chair, and I am leaning against the wall, uber casual. She doesn’t seem to notice, or if she does, she doesn’t comment.

“Shouyou, honey, you need to take your nausea medication. How are you feeling?” At the reminder, a swell of nausea runs through me and I slump against the wall with a groan.

“It’s better than usual. I just have a headache. I don’t  _ think _ I’m going to puke.” 

She smiles. “Well, that doesn’t very reassuring. I brought you a barf bag just in case, but go ahead and take your medicine now. 

As I grab the supplies from her, I brave a glance at Kageyama across the room. He is looking at me with a soft look, his face still pink from our talk, and his body relaxed. That is the side of him that I love the most. I smile to myself, fighting the urge to squeal, as I take my medicine.

After my mom leaves, Kageyama grabs my wrist, his signature glare back in place. 

“Dude, your mom is going to know within days at this point. You looked like a lovestruck fool back there!” Kageyama hisses.

I gasp in offense. “YOU were the one who looked like that, stupid!” 

“Why you little...” Kageyama’s fingers formed prime tickling position, as I began to shrink away from him in a sad attempt to cover my tickle spots.

  
Let’s just say that I wouldn’t have been puking into my special barf bag 20 minutes later if it wasn’t for stupid Kageyama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 2 more chapters fellows. The show is almost over. Tear. This fic has been my baby.   
> Oh yeah. If you are wondering why the texting style might have changed, it’s because it’s been so damn long since I’ve written this and I’m too lazy to see how I did texting in previous chapters. Lol. Look here for determined writer.  
> Thanks for reading, and as I always do with the shameless self promo, FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR I DARE YOU. AND SEND ME LOTS OF MESSAGES AND ASKS SO THAT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED AT LEAST A TINY LITTLE SOMETHING WITH THIS LARGE GLOB OF WORDS. (meaning my story). Okay i promise i'm going to lay off the sugar tomorrow


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good news and better news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I finally got around to watching season 2, and I'm so glad I didn't give up on Haikyuu! Watching kinda gave me back my inspiration, I guess? Anyway, I'm probably not going to post the epilogue for a while, because I'm getting really into writing Because of You at the moment (I have some amazing plot ahead >:)) So anyway, know that the epilogue will come eventually, and don't just unsubscribe now because some major things to tie up loose ends happen in the epilogue. Look forward to it. I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot, I hope you enjoy reading it!

“So, I have some good news for you two.” The doctor clears his throat.

I straighten up in my hard wooden chair, watching him intently. I see my mom perk up out of the corner of my eye.

We are in for one of my many doctor’s appointments to check up on my blood counts and vitals. To make sure I’m not dying, I suppose.

“The scans came in, and this time there has been a massive improvement. Hinata, your blood count has been massively stabilized. It seems the infusions are also doing their jobs, and if the count of cancerous cells in your bone marrow is accurate based on our scans, you are well on your way to a complete recovery. What this means is the induction phase of your chemotherapy is a success. The cancerous cells are going into remission.”

A smile spreads across my face at the words. It’s almost hard for me to comprehend what a complete recovery means. It means no more medication, no more pain, no more worries of imminent death, and no more being treated differently. It means I can play volleyball again. I can’t even remember what it felt like to be healthy. That doesn’t stop my enthusiasm from bursting through the roof at the doctor’s words. I’ll be free from the chains this illness is bearing down on me.

Mom, ever the analytical one, is the first to speak. “How soon will this recovery happen?”

The doctor smiles at her question. “We are continuing with what we already had planned as far as your son’s treatment is going. As I said, the cancer cells are going into remission. This doesn’t mean the cancer is gone for good. We will have to continue with the other phases of treatment as we planned at the beginning of his illness. After induction phase is complete, we will dive straight into the consolidation phase. Consolidation will last for a few months, and our main goal here is to completely flush your system of any remaining cancer cells that we may have missed. Consolidation is still going to be intense, but I’m glad to say that you are through the worst of your treatments.”

“So... I can still go to school during the consolidation phase, right?”

He gives me a thumbs up. “Throughout consolidation, you’re slowly going to find your strength increasing. It’s going to be so much easier for you to focus on school. Why would we hold you back from that?”

I gasp as a thought strikes me. “And... sports?”

“You will slowly be able to join back into your teams. Make sure that you make that transition as slow as possible so that no accidents happen. You lost a lot of muscle over this treatment, and you need to be aware of that as you move forward with sports and general activity.”

I nod slowly, biting my lip. “Alright. I was already planning on doing that anyway. I don’t think my coaches would let me in for a full game at this point anyway, knowing how worried they get,” I giggle.

He smiles again. “That’s how you know you have a good coach.”

My mom laughs, and I fall back in my chair as they begin to converse.

So. The worst is over. Everything is going to be okay, and I know for sure this time. It suddenly strikes me to send a message to Kageyama, and when he gets the message his response is in all caps.

* * *

 

Kageyama and I are walking slowly toward the school. For once, we are not racing. My heart is, though, and I can feel his hammering pulse in my hand. I take another deep breath.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” He asks me, his voice strained with nerves.

I hum. “I mean, yeah! Who’s gonna care? Just stop worrying. Once it’s over we’re gonna forget all about this. Everything’s going to be okay.” I’ve been saying that a lot lately. Now, I know it really will be. “What’s the worst that could happen?” Even as I ask him I am picturing all the horrible scenarios in my head. Despite my current happiness, I can’t help the nerves buzzing in my stomach. Those butterflies were eager for a chance to wreak havoc in my digestive tract, once again, as they always are.

“You know what could happen!” He bites back angrily. I know his anger isn’t toward me.

I look up at him, admiring his elegant profile against the pretty orange sky. “I know what you’re thinking. But do you really think Suga and Daichi would stand for any hate on our team? They would shut anything bad down as soon as it started.” I am reassuring myself, too, but as I say the words a new confidence seeps into me. I relax my tense shoulders and separate our hands to shove him gently. He curses when he stumbles on a loose pebble, but I can see that his gait isn’t so stiff anymore.

“I’ll be here. We can leave if we want to, afterwards. This was your idea in the first place, Kageyama, jeez. I’m just going with the flow,” I tease.

He snorts. “Shut up. I get it. Thanks.” His voice softens.

Unconsciously, as we reach the doors to the gym, we separate from each other and stiffen up all over again.

When the doors close behind us, I close my eyes and take in a deep breath through my nose, and let it hiss out between my teeth slowly. Kageyama just stands silently next to me, apprehensive.

I gesture for him to follow me, and he does. He looks a little pale.

Suga looks up from a stack of papers as we approach him. “Well hello, guys. Is everything okay?”

“W-we want to make an announcement to the team before practice,” I force out before I can stop myself.

He raises his eyebrows. “Does it have to do with your illness?”

I shake my head quickly. “No, no, it’s nothing bad,” I pause, “I think.”

Suga laughs, bright and peeling, and my stomach loosens a little. Daichi looks up from the papers next to him, a hint of a smile in his eyes. “Okay, well everyone’s already over here, so you can start when you’re ready.”

With a gasp, I look up and finally notice that every person on the team is watching our exchange. I rub the back of my head and laugh nervously. In a rush of bold courage, I take Kageyama’s hand. I see everyone’s eyes shift to our hands, but I ignore them, tightening my grip, and begin to speak when I feel Kageyama squeeze my hand back. He’s ready.

“Me and Kageyama are dating now. Just... wanted to let you guys know I guess?”

Complete silence.

This is beginning to feel all too much like when I came out about my cancer. I feel my shoulders begin to tremble, and my toes clench together in my shoes.

Suddenly, I feel Kageyama inflate against me. “If any of you have a problem, keep it to yourselves. We don’t have time for your annoying shit.”

At that, a small giggle emerges from the crowd of surprised faces. And then Suga brings a hand to his mouth, and laughs a little louder. My face slowly begins to turn pink, and I’m about to flee from the room with Kageyama in hand when he holds up a hand to speak.

“None of us care,” he pauses to look around at the team, and most of them are nodding enthusiastically. “For me, it was just surprising considering how bad you guys used to get along when you first met each other. I hope there will be none of that mistreatment in your relationship,” Suga scolds Kageyama, but I see a glimmer of humor in his eyes.

Kageyama, apparently, doesn’t. He shakes his head really fast, his gaze turning down. “I’m kinda. Less of an asshole now. We get along. Or I wouldn’t have asked him out.” His face slowly reddens, and I stretch up to plant a kiss on his cheek, my grin turning sloppy and my cheeks pink.

“Oh my god, Hinata, I swear to god. Not in public!” Kageyama swats me away, and I cackle behind my hand.

Kageyama’s face slowly melds into one of horror. “You made it sound worse!” I continue to cackle, pointing at him and laughing.

Now the entire team is laughing, and several pat Kageyama on the back apologetically as they walk by to get to the locker room.

In conclusion, coming out went as smooth as Suga’s hair on a dry winter day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to make Suga threaten Kags in a kind way because I can't get over how much of an asshole he can be. He betta learn. Anyway, thank you all for sticking with me for the ups and downs, and make sure to check out my other fics while you're waiting for the epilogue ;). Trust me, angst awaits in all of them. Also, I apologize for the last line. It makes me laugh so hard for some reason, so I am leaving it in.  
> HUGE thanks to two lovely people for helping me out with this chapter. I'm super lazy at reading stuff over so they had so many silly mistakes to correct me on X) : Shyreader and Kurokn (look them up bro, they are smart)


	28. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata was truly happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was antsy tonight and decided to channel that energy with this. I actually completely disregarded the original plan because I thought it wasn't plausible, and this is what I came up with instead. It's on the short side, but I hope you enjoy.

The ball shoots past my head and I hold back a curse. Daichi picks up the ball from behind me and Tobio sets it, flashing his eyes over to me. I nod very slightly, eyeing the other side of the provisional net the upperclassmen had set up between the two trees. Asahi is crouching over, eyes narrowed while he tracks the ball, but he has left the very edge of the makeshift court wide open. I sprint over to it, reveling in the way my body carries me, no pain in my joints, no dizziness in my head; just the normal burn from hard work. I spring myself up and watch as my boyfriend flings the ball over to me, and I track it and slam it down, eyes open. I trust him. I would never  _ not _ trust him. But my skills have improved drastically since the first half of high school, and I can handle leaving my eyes open as the ball floats through the air. I revel in the view from the top. I watch the resignation in my enemy's eyes, a panoramic view of the grass below me, and before I land I register a tree root jutting out of the ground below me. I land just to the right of it. 

“Be careful!” Tobio scolds Asahi, referring to the ball almost hitting me in the face.

I laugh. “Chill out, babe, I’m fine!” 

He snorts as he surveys my face. “You worry me...”

Tanaka pushes us apart before I can retort. “Have your little lovers quarrel later, yo, we’re on the fast lane right now!”

“We’re having a scrimmage in the park outside the school because they kicked us out of the gym.” I stick my tongue out.

Tanaka imitates me in high-pitched gibberish, and I hear Tobio growl behind me.

“Focus, guys!” Daichi finally calls out from behind us.

Suga checks his watch. “Dai, practice should have ended ten minutes ago.”

The team whines in disappointment, but Daichi relents. 

“I expect all of you here tomorrow, bright and early,” Daichi threatens.

Tsukishima huffs. “It’s break, though. Mandatory attendance can not be allowed. I’m checking the student handbook.”

Ennoshita rolls his eyes. “Only you, who blatantly disregards the rules on a regular basis, would check the student handbook to get out of work.”

As I walk back indoors to grab my stuff from the locker room, Tobio meets up with me and grabs my hand.

Surprisingly, nothing bad had come out of our relationship going public. While we were occasionally met with whispers or lingering gazes, my illness seemed to have scared off any potential bullying. Like people felt it was morally wrong to bully the cancerous kid. I wasn’t complaining, in this instance. 

As soon as I had gotten news that I was in remission, I had started doing full body workouts to regain the muscle I had lost in the hospital, and within 2 months I was almost as good as new. It took an additional month to regain my position as middle blocker during games. That was okay. I knew I had to earn my spot, and I did. We didn’t make it to Nationals in my first semester, and that was okay. It was a new semester, a new season, and we had a newfound desire to win. None of the third years dropped out in the spring. 

“You free tonight?” Tobio asks me, squeezing my hand. 

I smile up at him. “Of course! We’re having a family dinner tonight, and Mom wants you to join us. She even invited my dad!” 

He attempts to smile at me and I laugh. 

When we get to our bags, I rifle through my stuff in an attempt to find my phone. When I grab it I find that it has several incoming notifications from Kenma.

Instead of reading through all them, I Facetime him and begin to change, and after three rings, he answers. 

“Hey Kenma!” I greet.

“Hi.” I crouch down to look at my phone and see that his cheeks are rosy. He’s biting his lip, but I notice the corners turned up.

“What’s got you so cheery?” I inquire.

He hesitates, so I continue to change while he figures out what he wants to say. 

After a minute, he speaks up. “I made first string on my team for the spring. And the third years all graduated, so they can’t bully me anymore. They always bullied me in middle school.”

“I’m so happy for you! Why were they bullying you, anyway? You’re probably a huge asset to the team!” 

“I was sick. But I didn’t know it at the time.”

That was sad. I didn’t voice my thoughts, though. “Well, you can make up for it now. I’m so happy you’re finally better!”

Kenma finally breaks out into a small smile. “Thanks. Me too.”

“I’m telling you, you have to meet Karasuno some time! They would love you!” 

“I don’t know about that...” he said quietly.

“Well, anyway, I’m having a dinner date with my boyfriend, so I gotta let you go. Let’s talk later?”

Kenma nods. “Alright.”

The team has all filed in by this point, so I hang up and finish pulling on the rest of my clothes and packing up my bag.

“You ready to go?” Tobio asks me. I look up at him and notice with a surge in my chest that his face is pink with exertion from practice. 

Without thinking, I pull him down by his collar and kiss him softly, cupping his face in my hands. I feel him relax against me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he leans into the kiss. The only thing keeping me from deepening the kiss is Tanaka coughing loudly from the back of the room. 

I pull away from Tobio and stick my tongue out at the team, pulling Tobio behind me as I fled the room. 

“What was that about?” He asks as we walk across the school property towards the road.

I grin at him, eyes crinkling. “Nothing. I just think you’re really cute.”

His face reddens and he grabs my hand, his grip tight. 

The sun is beginning to set, and flowers are blooming. A breeze rustles the leaves around us and raises goosebumps on my arms. Right now, everything seems just okay. 

Sure, I have my fair share of problems. I’m still not sure how I’m going to mend my relationship with my father, or if I even want to. Sometimes, people’s whispering in the hallways at school gets to be too much. My mom still doesn’t know how to stop from burying herself in her work. And yeah, someday, the cancer might return. The biyearly checkups I still have to go to remind me of what I lost in my first year of high school. But with Tobio and Natsu and Kenma and my mom and the rest of the team at my side, those problems will one day wither away into nothing.

That, I am sure of. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, then. My first fanfiction ever has come to an end. While re-reading I noticed countless mistakes and flaws in my writing that I am going to keep in mind from now on and in future fics. I'm sorry for the super long wait for the epilogue, but the waiting is over now I guess haha. I urge you to check out my other stuff, because I really think that I put more effort into my other fics and I think you can see a difference with the quality of the writing.  
> Anyhoo, if you couldn't get enough of my moodswings and rambling, follow my tumblr. haikiuyu.tumblr.com .   
> Thank you all for all the comments and shit, I really really appreciated them and it's what kept me going. Please leave comments on every fic you enjoy, not just your favorites, because it seriously makes such a difference to get a response. Okay I'll shut up now before this becomes longer than the chapter.  
> Shannon out.  
> Microphone drop.

**Author's Note:**

> haikiuyu.tumblr.com
> 
> i am deleting my fanfiction blog (shanbluefanfiction.tumblr.com), so if you'd like to send me a message send it to my main blog


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